SUPERBAD DIRECTOR DOES ADVENTURELAND

08.23.07 Written by Vince Mancini

Dear God: Great job on the hair.  Asshole.

I know it's surprising, but Judd Apatow didn't actually direct Superbad; some dude name Greg Mottola did.  But now that he's gotten the Apatow seal of approval (arf, arf – sorry, bad pun), it seems everything's falling into place.  Mottola recently cast Jesse Eisenberg as the lead in his next film, Adventureland, an autobiographical story he wrote about the summer after his college graduation.

Story, set in the summer of 1987, concerns an uptight recent college grad who's forced to take a minimum-wage job at the local amusement park after realizing he can't afford his dream European tour. The experience helps him to loosen up a bit as he finds first love, forms new friendships and matures just in time to enter the real world in the fall.

Boo hoo, he had to work at Disneyland.  Know where I worked after I graduated college?  Starbuck's.  A place from which I later was fired.  I was the only barista with a college degree, and as we all know, "barista" means "loser" in Italian.  Apparently my manager didn't think it was as funny as I did to hand women who'd just ordered a pastry their coffee while saying, "Here you go, let me just grab your muffin…"

I think it was the girlish giggling that gave me away. 

Source 

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‘SUPERBAD’ MOVIE TOUR INTERVIEW PARODY

08.10.07 Written by Vince Mancini

I'm not going to say this fake publicity tour interview from Superbad stars Jonah Hill and Michael Cera and director Edgar Wright (the interviewer) is the funniest thing I've ever seen, but compared to the normal publicity tour interviews, it's pretty sweet.  Usually, the stars say the same thing in every interview, talk about their character in the movie as if it's a real person that they like to hang out with every Friday, or generally suck everyone involved with the movie's balls, even if the movie is Mystery Men or the Number 23.  Or, if Robin Williams is in the movie, the rest of the cast is forced to sit there while he jumps from every hacky impression he's been doing for the last 20 years at the speed of cocaine, trying to crowbar them into normal conversation.

I was going to post a clip from the Showbiz Show with David Spade where he cut together like 10 Vin Diesel interviews where he says the same thing in every one.  It was going to be really funny and so apropos, but I couldn't find the clip anywhere.  This is kind of like the time I was having sex with this girl and I only lasted like 15 seconds.  So then I was like, "Don't move, I've got this amazing vibrator my mom just bought me, in a second you'll be glad I'm a two pump chump."  

So then I looked all over the house but couldn't find it anywhere.  Then I climbed back in bed and told the girl all about the vibrator.  "Can you imagine?  Can you imagine how much pleasure you would have been in?"  I said to her. And then I smoked a cigarette.  I'm not gonna lie, ladies, I'm pretty good at sex.   

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