JASON STATHAM’S SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL

01.30.09 Written by Vince Mancini

Oi, da Staf’ ‘eah.  So da ovva day, dese German cunts come up to me an dey’s loike, “Oi, Staf’, ‘ow’d you loike ta do da fock’n commersho for dese fock’n cahs?”

An a course Oy’s loike, “Oi, if it’s a flash sazz wagon you cunts is troyin’ ta sell, den you ‘as come ta da roight place, now ‘aven’t you?”

An so den Oy invoites dem down ta film whoilst Oy’s droivin fru billboards an doin’ fock’n jumps an aw dat – just your av’rage Fursday for da Staf’, innit.  An da result is what you see heah, donnit.  Now, da Staf knows what your finkin’: “Oi, Staf’, what ‘appened to dat fit bird in da rolla shoes?”  Well, whoilst da Staf’ ain’t one ta kiss an’ tell, long story short, Oy knobbed ‘er.  Now, Oy donnow whoy dey ain’ put dat paht in da bloody commersho, now doesn’ dey?  When Oy first found out da knobbin weren’ in dere, Oy wiz so angry dat Oy took moy shir’ off an pulled down dis buildin wif moy bare ‘ands. But den later after Oy’s calmed down a bit, Oy felt bad. So dat noight, Oy rebuilt it.

[Thanks to Justin for the tip]

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TRAILERS DEBUTING DURING SUPER BOWL

01.11.09 Written by Vince Mancini

Besides Dreamworks’ special 3-D spot for Monsters vs. Aliens which will air at the end of the second quarter, Variety reports that the following trailers will also air during the Super Bowl:

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (new)
Star Trek
G.I. Joe (new)
Angels and Demons
4 Fast 4 Furious
Land of the Lost (new)

And probably Up and Wolverine.  Meanwhile, I predict that for every movie trailer, you will see at least two of those f-cking Geico ads with the stacks of money that have eyes. Goddamn those are stupid.

Read the rest of this entry »

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WATCH COMMERCIALS… IN GLORIOUS 3-D!

01.05.09 Written by Vince Mancini

A 3-D ad for Monsters vs. Aliens (latest trailer here) will air during the Super Bowl February 1st and again later in the month during a special 3-D broadcast of Chuck. In other news, recording commercials and Chuck is a great way to confuse the f-ck out of your Tivo.

The glasses [which you'll need to fully experience the commercial, of course], which use the new Intel InTru 3D [the newfangled type of 3-D] and ColorCode 3-D, will be distributed free at Pepsi/ SoBe Life Water displays at 28,000 locations including grocery, drug and electronics stores and big-box retailers [like your mom].

It seems like Pepsi completely fell off the pop culture map for a while there, but now they’re back with a new logo, which just so happens to look a lot like the Barack Obama logoCheck out our new flavor, Yes We Cran! A little game I like to play is to go to restaurants that only serve Pepsi and order a Diet Coke, and then when they say “Is Diet Pepsi okay?” I just shriek at the top of my lungs and sprint out the door.

[Source]

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SUPER BOWL ROUNDUP: IRON MAN, ETC.

02.04.08 Written by Vince Mancini

Disclaimer: Posts written the day after the Super Bowl may lack the joie de vivre, devil-may-care je ne sais quois, and abilty to spell with which FilmDrunk has come to be associated.  For obvious reasons.

If I learned one thing from yesterday’s Super Bowl, it’s that ELI MANNING NEVER CLOSES HIS GODDAMNED MOUTH. He’s like Corey Haim circa 1990.  God gave you nostrils, fellas. Learn to breath through them.  Anyway, there were plenty of movie-related Super Bowl commercials and I’ve got your roundup right here (with video).

New Iron Man Trailer – Lots of new effects footage here. But I’ll be honest, the only reason I’m leaning towards seeing this is Robert Downey being a smart ass. Heroin does make you cool.  

New Wanted Trailer – Still looks like Bourne Identity meets xXx. Morgan Freeman is still Hollywood’s freckliest black dude. 

Chronicles of Narnia – I love how opera music is shorthand for "Some Epic Shit is About to Go Down." I went to an opera once, and the whole time I kept expecting a UFC fight to break out or some bears to come in and start talking to me. It was a disappointment.  

Talking Stain – This isn’t a movie, but it was the only commercial that made me laugh.  Tell you what, if stains made noise these sweat pants would be a veritable cacophony. 

Semi Pro TV Spot and Bud Light Ad – Nice to see Will Ferrell’s still committed to this project, because I just can’t bring myself to care.

Wall E – Woody and Buzz from Toy Story talk Wall E for some reason. I don’t know who’s doing Woody, but that doesn’t sound like Tom Hanks.  Also, just say no to Tim Allen.    

Jumper – Samuel Jackson’s in this, and he’s known to be very choosy about his parts so it’s probably real good.  Oh, and he has silver hair like Cisqo (sp?) in this.  Thong th thong thong thong.

Don’t Mess with the Zohan – Seriously, I want to know the lead time between possible premise and finished product for an Adam Sandler movie these days.  I’m convinced it’s like ten minutes.  "What should we do in this scene?"  "Fuck, I dunno, put a wig on him." 

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