Just like always, the Super Bowl yesterday was the only event of the year when people actually watch, let alone discuss, commercials. Almost all of them try to be funny these days, but it might surprise you to learn that a committee of professional salespeople trying not to offend anyone may not be the most effective way to create comedy. The only thing sure to be must-see TV are the GoDaddy commercials, because not even a thousand monkeys on a thousand tabs of acid with their brains set on shuffle could come up with as strange a combination of “hot-chick” spokespeople as Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser. Tim and Eric could huff ether-soaked rags for a week straight and not achieve that level of pure randomness.

Anyway, plenty of movies got in on the commercial action, including The Dictator, Act of Valor, The Avengers, GI Joe 2, John Carter, and Battleship. You can see all their spots here, and not on other sites, which I’ve never read, but I hear are for dong punchers.

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In honor of my beloved* Green Bay Packers winning the Super Bowl, I thought I’d post this video from yesterday’s pregame ESPN coverage. It’s yet another addition of “Mayne Street” featuring ESPN’s resident dry humorist, Kenny Mayne.

There’s a pretty good looking redhead chick in it, so it’s got that going for it, but other than that it’s pretty… blah. However, it does feature an appearance from Matt Damon, who plays a bitter high school rival of Packers head coach Mike McCarthy. Say what you want about Damon, but I just find the guy so damn charming in completely hetero way, of course. I’m just saying that if he wanted to hang out and play Wii or go to my ex-girlfriend’s office and tell her that we’re best friends now, that would be pretty cool.

UPDATE: OK, the real video is posted. My bad.

Video after the jump…

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This is a little video from SlateV called “If Famous Directors Directed the Super Bowl”, which is awesome because posting it allows me to really mail it in on my Friday.  And I like that.  It’s actually pretty solid once you get through the Tarantino part, which is super lame.  I’d like to think that if Tarantino directed the Super Bowl, it would involve a lot more doing coke with Lawrence Taylor.  So basically, Any Given Sunday.  I’d also like to see one about if Old Dogs’ Walt Becker directed the Super Bowl.  Spoiler alert: it’s three-straight hours of footballs to the groin.

The Wes Anderson segment made me feel oddly nostalgic.

[hat tip: CinemaBlend]

Comcast in Tucson yesterday added what the Super Bowl telecast has too long been missing: FULL MALE NUDITY.

Officials at Comcast said about 30 seconds from Club Jenna, an adult cable television channel, were shown on the local Super Bowl telecast. The company was still working Sunday night to figure out how it happened.
The Star newsroom was flooded with calls from irate viewers who said that the porn cut into the game with less than three minutes left to play, just after Arizona Cardinals player Larry Fitzgerald scored on a touchdown pass from Kurt Warner to put the team in the lead.
Callers said that the clip showed a woman unzipping a man’s pants, followed by a graphic act between the two.
“I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up,” said Cora King of Marana. “Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out.”
Jeanene Piek said she was outraged that her granddaughter had seen the clip.
“I was in a state of shock. I am totally disgusted,” she said. [ArizonaStar]

Janet Jackson’s nasty old flapjack titty cost CBS $550,000, so who knows how much this will end up costing Comcast.  It’s bad enough people have to have Comcast, now random cocks on the screen?  The only thing worse than this is having to watch commercials for your own cable service.  Hmm, so I only have one choice of cable service, which is now advertising to me, on a channel I could only see if I’d already paid for their service… Whoever came up with that idea should be executed.

UPDATE: Thanks to WithLeather, here’s the link to the original NSFW broadcast. Wow, it really is just a guy dancing around with this cock out. And Evan Stone, no less. He’s like the Bruce Campbell of porno.

Here you see the Cash4Gold Super Bowl commercial starring MC Hammer and Ed MCmahon, which I consider the best of the bunch until someone reminds of something better.  Cash4Gold’s clearly come a long way since telling people to pull out grandma’s fillings for money. 

After the jump, I’ve got all the movie ads. A lot of people say Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was the best, others, G.I. Joe. But those people are idiots, probably the same ones who liked that MacGruber commercial. Year One was easily the best, followed by Land of the Lost. Elsewhere, Go Daddy.com once again made me wish I was stupider. And Chester the Cheetah is clearly Tony the Tiger’s ne’er do well, recovering heroin addict brother in law.
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