Marmaduke has a new poster out, and as you can see, it’s a shot across the bow of all other family comedies.  The days of your half-assed, one-animal-in-sunglasses poster designs are numbered.  Marmaduke has changed the game.  Upped the ante.  Raised the bar. Put MORE SUNGLASSES on MORE ANIMALS! (*air guitar*) The world demands it.  This makes the Fonz jumping a shark on waterskis look like the PC guy from the PC and Mac commercials filling out a census form.  TWO ANIMALS IN SUNGLASSES?!?!  THIS JUST ISN’T DONE!  IT’S TOO IN MY FACE!  It’s like if Slash and Eddie Van Halen were both in the same band and both shredding double-necked guitars while doing wheelies on motorcycles and frotting. BRING THE WHOLE FAMILY AND ALL OF YOUR CATS, DOGS, AND LLAMAS!

(*hyperventilates from too many animals in sunglasses*)

Aw, remember the good old days when Puerto Ricans could teach a robot how to steal car stereos?

When the remake of Short Circuit was first announced last year, it was set to be written by original Short Circuit writers Brent Maddock and the S.S. Wilson. The original was about a robot, intended as a weapon, who got struck by lightning and turned into a hippie, and then had to run from the government who wanted to destroy him (as I’ve said, almost all 80s movies were about peaceful aliens, robots, or mutants running from the government for some reason). Today it’s being reported that Robot Chicken writer Dan Milano has been hired on as a writer to give Maddock and Wilson’s script a “subversive edge.”

“We’re bringing Number 5 into the 21st Century and taking advantage of the improvements in robotics that are so massive that robots are now performing heart surgeries in hospitals,” Producer David Foster said. [Variety]

“It’s amazing, some people are even designing robots to give idiotic PR quotes.”  What Foster means, of course, is that in the updated version, Johnny 5 will wear sunglasses, and possibly have a faux hawk.  Seriously, who wants to bet me?  I guaran-goddamn-tee you either the trailer, the poster, or both will have Johnny 5 wearing sunglasses with his arms crossed over his chest.  Because he has attitude, you see.