"Which one of you guys tripled parked your Bentleys?"

Chris Rock was at Sundance last week to promote his new film, 2 Days in New York, directed by Julie Delpy, whose best movie was Killing Zoe and I will fight people to the death if they believe otherwise. While Rock did the normal PR legwork for his new film, he also dropped a little nugget of terror into our laps when MTV asked him about the status of the completely unnecessary Grown Ups 2.

/film has reported that Grown Ups 2 already has a set release date of July 12, 2013, but Rock raised a few eyebrows when he admitted that he doesn’t know if his upcoming project with Adam Sandler is actually a sequel. Yeah, because that makes all the difference as to whether it will suck or not.

I don’t know yet. I definitely have been called about my availability. But no one’s told me about a script. When Adam Sandler gives you a call and asks, ‘What are you doing in June? Make sure you don’t do nothing in June!’ So I think we’re getting ready to get the gang back together. I don’t know if it’s going to be ‘Grown Ups 2′ or another movie, though.

Who cares? It’s happening regardless. Happy Madison is Skynet. We’ve allowed Sandler and his friends to amass such wealth that they can do whatever they want. Grown Ups made more than $270 million worldwide. Even if a sequel makes half that, they still win and stock their garages with more Maseratis.

If they want a new movie, they get it. A TV show for Rob Schneider? Done. A Broadway musical starring Peter Dante and a chorus of stoned frat boys making hand farts? Book it. This is why we can’t have nice things, world.

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Celeste and Jesse Forever, a rom-dramedy (I’m sorry) starring Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg, has been picked up by Sony Pictures classic. The film was directed by Lee Toland Krieger (grandson of character actor Lee Krieger) and co-written by Rashida Jones and Will McCormack. And Elijah Wood plays a gay dude in it, so there’s that. Assorted reviews:

It’s a nice ninety-minute break from some of the more serious fare, although- while venturing near BRIDESMAIDS levels of hilarity at some points (minus the gross-out factor), it also manages to squeeze in a nice little relationship story about how the partner we take for granted, just might be the one thing that keeps us from going off the deep-end. -Joblo

Celeste and Jesse Forever has a bit of an identity crisis but it ends up being very pleasant, thanks in large part to Jones. -SlashFilm

The script not only provides a showcase for her dramatic range and comic timing, but also her ability to write hilarious dialogue and situations.  But in a bizarre twist, her performance ends up carrying her script’s stumbling blocks and clumsy ending.  Even when she’s her own worst enemy, Jones comes out the victor. -Collider

A likable and bittersweet relationship film that doesn’t telegraph its intentions, Celeste and Jesse Forever borrows tropes from the rom-com playbook and has enough laughs to be mistaken for one but ultimately doesn’t want to be pigeonholed. -Hollywood Reporter

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Tracy Morgan is an overweight black comic who lives on the edge of health and sanity, and should probably have a doctor assigned to him 24-7 so we don’t lose another one. He was attending the Creative Coalition Spotlight Awards at the Sundance Film Festival yesterday, and after accepting the Spotlight Initiative Award, he collapsed following his speech and was rushed to the hospital.

After his speech, he was escorted out of the building, where he collapsed and was taken to the hospital.
Morgan was take to Park City Medical Center and his current condition in unknown. A spokeswoman for the hospital stated that no drugs or alcohol were found in Tracy’s system upon medical evaluation.
Morgan’s rep released a statement after the actor was hospitalized: “From a combination of exhaustion and altitude, Tracy is seeking medical attention.”

If it’s not drugs and alcohol, don’t say “exhaustion,” you moron. Has anyone you know ever been hospitalized for “exhaustion?” Everyone knows exhaustion means “booze and drugs.”

Sources tell THR that during the dinner Morgan seemed out of control, yelling and falling onto the ground. Morgan briefly walked the red carpet before the event, but gave no interviews.

Well yeah, but that sounds normal. That’s part of his appeal, really. Did he pull his shirt up and slap his belly? “TRACY! TRACY! Are you okay? If you can hear me, pull your shirt up and slap your belly! We need to know you’re okay!”

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For most of us, Luther Campbell will always be the guy from 2 Live Crew, known for co-writing such tracks as “Me So Horny,” “Hoochie Mama,” and “Pop That Coochie,” (although he also had a memorable turn in The U, the most memorable of ESPN’s 30 for 30 documentaries). Soon, however, he’ll be taking the indie art scene by storm, starring in a short film directed by a video artist, which was commissioned by the Miami Borscht Group, who previously produced Cocaine Cowboys.

“The Life and Freaky Times of Uncle Luke,” a short film anchored by former 2 Live Crew frontman Luther “Uncle Luke” Campbell, has been selected to screen at the festival as part of the 2012 short film program.
Inspired by the 1962 French science fiction film “La Jetée,” the film is set entirely in front of a series of surreal art installations created by director and multimedia artist Jillian Mayer.

Okay, nice, sounds pretty Sundance-y so far… (Additional trivia: Gilliam’s 12 Monkeys was also based on “La Jetée”, which was composed almost entirely of still photos. It’s great, but also really hard to stay awake through).

In the film, Campbell plays a slightly altered version of himself, and recounts his controversial rise to fame, including his fight for 1st Amendment rights. Campbell takes a freaky turn when a nuclear meltdown in Miami turns the city into a radioactive wasteland filled with mutants — naked ones, of course — leaving Campbell as the sole survivor, tasked with repopulating the city the old fashioned way.

YES. Now that’s the Luther Campbell I know. I hope the waste turns everyone into a big booty ho like an 80s malt liquor commercial. This sounds like a waaay better version of I Am Legend. You can watch the trailer for it below, though be warned it does contain a NSFW split second of bare boob.

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Drake Doremus’ film Like Crazy won the Sundance Grand Jury Prize in January and opens in limited release this October. It stars Anton Yelchin (CURLY-HAIRED MEN ARE TAKING OVER!) and Felicity Jones as two college kids who fall in love and then struggle to maintain a relationship. They say it’s a love story, but to me it looks more like a mystery. The main mystery being “WHAT THE F*CK ARE THEY SAYING?” Seriously, I watched that twice and understood maybe 65% of the dialog.

The Grand Jury prize went to Like Crazy, starring Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones as a young couple who fall in love in college and struggle afterward to maintain a long-distance relationship. Directed and co-written by Drake Doremus (Douchebag), the film was largely improvised.
“We had a 50-page outline and rehearsed for two weeks and let things happen organically,” Doremus said. “The key was to do 30-minute takes for the five weeks we shot.”
The story is not clear-cut — intentionally.
“I wanted it to feel gray,” Doremus told a Sundance audience. “I wanted you guys to decide for yourselves.” [USAToday]

Oh boy, I can’t wait to watch a meandering narrative where I get to be the guinea pig who decides whether it’s actually about anything. Like Crazy? More like Like Lazy.

HD available at Apple.