Here’s a guy getting kicked in the face, set to Guile music from Street Fighter. All it needs is that one guy who looked like he was jerking off in the background. Impressive, landing that clean a head kick in a river fight. By the way, “I’LL F*CK SAUCE YOU UP!” is my new favorite threat. |via Fightlinker|

MORNING LINKS
Aaron Sorkin’s lost Amazon product reviews uncovered |Film Drunk|

The guys recount some of the worst jobs they’ve ever had. |Frotcast|

At least someone is grateful for the potato their Great Aunt Annie sent them. [via Awesomephilia]

The Rolling Stones Covered The Beatles For The First Time In 48 Years |UPROXX|

The Saddest Moment Of This Season Of ‘Sons Of Anarchy’ Happened Off-Screen |Warming Glow|

Women Pole Dancing For Charity? Yes Please
|With Leather|

Watch This Paralyzed Dog Walk Again After A Cell Transplant |Gamma Squad|

Chris Brown Deletes Twitter Account After Saying He Wants To Sh*t On A Woman’s Eye |The Superficial|

The Best Moments From NFL Week 12 |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Please nobody tell these girls how their clothes are suposed to work |theChive|

31 Kids Who Are Too Clever For Their Own Good |Buzzfeed|

5 Sauces That Changed The Way We Eat |Mental Floss|

One Person Really Enjoyed Liz & Dick |IDLYITW|

10 Things Chris Brown Can Do Now That He’s Off Twitter |College Humor|

The 30 Greatest Mustachioed Movie Villains Of All Time |Screen Junkies|

Minimalist video game posters. For nerds who no longer live at home |Fark|

Rockin for Russia |Holy Taco|

The Jack Nicholson Joker Origin Game |Videogum|

My Five Favorite Love Interests From Superhero Films |Unreality|

FREAKING HUGE Pee Wee Football Player Plows Over a Defender with a Truck Stick For the Ages |Brobible|

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FRIEND SQUAD ASSEMBLE!

Ryan Gosling, that sweet, puppy-loving drink of lemon meringue from the land of maple syrup, famously broke up a street fight in progress back in June (though news of the event didn’t break until a few weeks ago). What had happened was, gentlemen had a disagreement over a painting, which was about to devolve into a donnybrook, when out of nowhere, Baby Goose showed up and gave the aggressor half a hug. That’s when the sky opened up and it rained waffle cones, and everyone shared a milk shake with a hundred straws while the Beach Boys played a live concert and a yellow lab with a red bandanna around his neck ran around licking everyone’s faces. Some say the giggling could be heard from space.

Baby Goose has finally broken his legendary silence about the event in an interview with MTV (video below), and this is what he had to say:

“I’m embarrassed. I think that guy really was stealing that other guy’s painting, so I shoulda just kept my nose out of it. It was sad, because it turns out that… I said to the guy, “Why you doing this?” And he said, “Because he’s stealing my painting.” and I said, “Well how do you know?” and he said, “Because he comes here every day and looks at my paintings.”

Which means the guy was a fan. And he wanted the painting so bad he had to steal it because he couldn’t afford it. So he finally steals the painting and then he’s getting his ass kicked by his hero. And then the guy from The Notebook shows up and makes it weirder. And it just… the whole thing, nobody wins. Nobody won.

And uh, you know what, I had just come from the gymnasium, and I was all… stretched out, and feeling… feeling warmed up. So, I’m embarrassed.”

Oh, Baby Goose, I think I speak for all of Huggalo Nation when I say that there’s no need for you to feel embarrassed. Seeing the good in people is just part of the Baby Goose Philosophy. Its central tenet, in fact. “Here, girl, I wrote you a song about it on the ukulele. You can sing along — it’s to the tune of ‘Baby Beluga.’”

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Below, I’ve got the trailer for a documentary about backyard brawling from the makers of Cocaine Cowboys, entitled, I sh-t you not, Dawg Fight.  If the ref reminds you of Kimbo Slice, that’s because the two used to hang together and the guy seems to have usurped the unlicensed street fight niche after Kimbo went pro (and also because they’re both huge scary black guys with bushy beards).

Meanwhile, the whole thing looks familiar to me because I swear to God I pitched this exact f’ing movie when prompted for ideas at a job interview once.  Needless to say, I didn’t get the job, and I don’t want to name names or anything, but I hope everyone at Current TV dies in a fire.
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