Sony has hired Justin Marks to write a script based on the videogame Shadow of the Colossus, which I’m sure will be great because videogame movies are always great.
“Colossus,” which bowed exclusively on the PlayStation 2 in 2005, revolves around a man named Wander who must travel across a cursed wasteland and defeat 16 creatures, known as the colossi, in order to restore the life of a girl.
“Colossus” is the latest high-profile project for Marks, who is writing the redo of “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Captain Nemo” at Disney, with McG attached to direct. He recently landed “Suicide Squad,” based on the DC Comics book, at Warner Bros., for which he’s also written “Green Arrow: Escape From Supermax,” also based on the DC character, and “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.” He’s also adapted “Hack/Slash” for Relativity, based on the Devil’s Due comicbook, and the ’80s TV toon “Voltron: Defender of the Universe,” for Mark Gordon Prods. [Variety]
This Justin Marks guy must have the best publicist in the world. So far the only movie he’s written that’s been released was Street Fighter, and we know how that went ($8 million domestic gross, 4% on rottentomatoes). I understand a bad director (and Chris Klein pretending he’s David Caruso) can ruin a good script, but I can’t imagine “he walks through the raindrops” looked any better on paper. Yet he now has SEVEN SCRIPTS in development. I’d love to assume that this guy’s getting hired based on talent, but the people hiring him are the same people who think a movie about a guy named “Wander” who fights giants is a good idea. It wouldn’t suprise me that he just shows up to meetings wearing a beret and fake mustache, and the execs immediately turn to each other and go, “Whoa, this guy seems legit.”
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No one saw Street Fighter, because why the hell would you? Sadly, it seems we may have overlooked one of the most awesomely bad acting performances of all time. I’ve hinted at this before, but now Pajiba has put together nearly 11 minutes of Chris Klein-as-Charlie-Nash goodness. Oh God, he can’t even get out of a car believably. I want this clip inside me. It’s like if David Caruso in his sunglasses and Nic Cage in his bear suit had a baby and taught it to do a Christian Slater impression.
Schadenfreude Sloth is a big fan of the Street Fighter movie
The big surprise of the weekend was that The Jonas Brothers concert movie failed to take number one, landing in number two behind Madea Goes to Jail, which took number one for the second week. Elsewhere, Fox’s Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, opened all the way down at number eight, with just $4.65 million. At this rate, it may have trouble earning back its $60 million budget (how did cost this much? it looks like a student film). Luckily, its 0% rating on RottenTomatoes is still safe.
The question remains: who the hell actually wanted a Street Fighter movie? Even the people getting paid to be in it must’ve been thinking, “well, if you say so, I guess…” The only thing good to come out of this is that Chris Klein’s performance is one for the time crapsule. Check out the clips after the jump - he’s Nic Cage in Wicker Man bad. In fact, this may just be worth seeing.
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Weekend Preview has been on hiatus the last few weeks because sometimes it gets antsy and tired on Friday afternoons. But now it’s back. Rejoice. Opening this week:
Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience
Well, we know what’ll be number one at the box office, anyway. Though they’ll always be a big number two in my heart (Too subtle?). There’s really not much I can say about the Jonas Brothers that hasn’t already been said, but I think the fact that this movie is represented by this thumbnail on Yahoo speaks volumes.
Street Fighter
Didn’t screen for critics, which is always a really good sign. Most of the reviews to hit so far are along the lines of this guy’s, who notes, “I’d rather watch my mom take a shower.” Hopefully this won’t hurt the Justin Marks legacy. The only good thing about this film is that it answers the age-old question - I wonder what Chris Klein is up to these days?
Crossing Over
Harrison Ford’s Crash clone about immigration looks terrible and the critics seem to corroborate. It’s running 12% recommended to Street Fighter’s 0% on rottentomatoes though, so I guess that’s something. Lately I think Harrison Ford may be employing the Nic Cage method of choosing scripts.
The more I look at these pictures, the better idea it seems casting a Blacked Eyed Pea as Vega in the Street Fighter movie. He just looks like such a natural. He calls himself “Taboo.” Because he’s dangerous, you see. And his love is forbidden.
Oh, and might I add… HAIRDOUKEN!
[Taboo via Wooha, Hairdouken sent in by Pauly, not sure where he got it]
