The other day, someone on Twitter wrote “FilmDrunk’s commenters are funnier than 75% of the sites on the internet.”  While I can’t really take credit for that, I do feel obligated to reward you.  Today I’ve got a shirt for the winner or a bunch of Riley Steele porn from Digital Playground (NSFW, obvi), whichever you prefer.

Winner: Stone Soup.  He seemed particularly on fire this week.

[From January Jones says X-Men is Behind Schedule]
Stone Soup says: January Jones has told the Canadian press that Matthew Vaughn’s X-Men First Class is rushed and over schedule.

The interviewer responded “That’s great, mind if I put my mouth on your milk bags?”

[From Marlon Brando's Creepy Letter to a Stewardess from 1966]
Stone Soup says
Hay yoouu,,,
come fuuk mee iv got cokee.
Charlie

Congrats, Stone.  Shirt or porn?  The choice is yours.  Meanwhile, his wasn’t the only contribution to the Marlon Brando-letter thread:

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This is how you carjack in the Thai version of Grand Theft Auto

In honor of Ong Bak 3‘s December 3rd release on VOD, XBOX, Playstation, and Amazon, I’ve been given the honor of giving away ONE prize pack that includes Ong Bak, Ong Bak 2, Chocolate, Exiled, and Dynamite Warrior. Believe me when I say that I would totally keep this for myself if I could get away with it.  Sadly, I must declare a winner.

THE WINNER IS: for his accurate assessment of the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation in Sherman Oaks in the post about the porn performer diagnosed with HIV:

Stone Soup says: I’ve been to this facility. The nurses all wear tons of make up and those little hats with a red cross on them, and the only thing they prescribe is more f**king.

So congrats, Stone, send me your address.  And now, on to everyone’s favorite part of Comments of the Week, the honorable mentions.

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In what I hope will usher in a new era of furiously competitive commenting, I present your new Comment of the Week prize.  With a logo beautifully designed by Marc over at Encompus, lovingly screen printed onto kelly green Alstyle shirts (comparable to American Apparel in size and feel), and adequately modeled by WarmingGlow‘s own Matt Ufford, it’s a winning look for this summer’s LAN party and/or awesome-t-shirt-themed society luncheon.  I’ll be selling them as soon as I figure out how to get the logistics of that up and running, but until then, the first owner will be this week’s Comments of the Week winner.  And that winner is… Stone Soup.

From the Japanese God-Jesus Robot, which spawned a Robot Jesus thread:

Stone Soup: Robot Jesus, why is that that during the hardest times in my life, there were only one set of wheel tracks in the sand?

Which narrowly edged out Donkey Hodey:

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If you’re new here, every week I give shout outs to the FilmDrunkards who make FilmDrinking a pleasurable experience.  Here’s this week’s prize:

The Terminator 2 Skynet Edition Blu-ray will be available [HITS STORES MAY 19th] for a limited time in the Limited Edition T2 Complete Collector’s Set, a 6-disc set that allows the ultimate T2 fan to play the film anytime, anywhere! Packaged with a 14″ T-800 Endoskull bust that plays sound effects from the film while its eyes light up, this collectible set features the Terminator 2 Skynet Edition Blu-ray plus both the Extreme Edition DVD and Ultimate Edition DVD’s – which, combined, include every T2 special feature ever released on DVD. As a bonus, the Limited Edition T2 Complete Collector’s Set comes with a digital copy of the film for iTunes or Windows Media.

As always, the way this works is, at any time this week, when you read a comment you think worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section of THIS post below.  I pick the winner from among the nominees the following Sunday/Monday. (To help you find it more easily, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).  Up to speed now, newbies?  To the reacharounds!

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Let’s be clear about something, folks, I hate this post.  It takes me forever to write and probably scares off new readers who have no idea what the hell I’m talking about.  And yet, you f-ckers crack me up so often that I have no choice but to share.

No prize this week except the knowledge that all of you really had unprotected sex with my funny bone last week.  Seriously, there was far too much funny to recognize it all.  But if I have to pick a winner, I must go with Chodin in the Walker Texas Ranger/Jetpack thread for consistently surprising the hell out of me:

Chodin says, “If I had a jetpack, I’d probably run out of gas at 63 feet and end up like Steven Hawkings. That’s right, kids: I’d end up a f–king genius.”

Also: “If I had a jetpack, I’d pick my old girlfriend up, tell her “I can show you the wooooorrrlllldddd” and then I’d drop her ass in a volcano.”

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