(”Fill up momma’s wine glass and I’ll show you what I like to call the Streeptease.”)
Writer/Director Nancy Meyers writes the kind of movies (What Women Want, Something’s Gotta Give, The Holiday) that my mom forces me to watch that I end up resenting her for a little bit. This is the new trailer for her latest, starring Meryl Streep, Steve Martin, and Alec Baldwin (good), whose title is a copy of either a Facebook relationship status, an Avril Lavigne song, or a Denise Richards reality show (bad). Coming Christmas Day, It’s Complicated. Have you ever wanted to hear Alec Baldwin deliver lines that start with “O M G”? (no) Did you ever wish you’d see Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin making out in an elevator? (no) Were you hoping Steve Martin would get hip to webcam chat? (no) Well then this movie is for you! (not me).
The Oscars hosts have been officially announced, and it will be Steve Martin, hosting his third Oscars, paired with Alec Baldwin in his first. It seems like an okay, if boring choice. Until you read this:
The pairing of Mr. Baldwin and Mr. Martin comes with a self-referential twist: The two are cast as rivals for the affection of a character played by Meryl Streep in a romantic comedy, “It’s Complicated,” which is directed by Nancy Meyers and is set for release by Universal Pictures on Christmas Day. [NYTimes]
Oof. I hope we aren’t choosing hosts by who has a movie to promote now. But I’ll save the conspiracy theories for when we talk about how the CIA wanted to assassinate Kennedy with an AIDS monkey. Truth is, these hosts are sorta meh, just like the Oscars itself is sorta meh. I was excited back when Dave Letterman was set to host, just like I was excited when Chris Rock and Jon Stewart were set to host. But what happened? Not a lot. It’s an impossible gig because you’re trying to make jokes about people on the night when they’re taking something that’s supposed to be fun super seriously. The closest they ever got to spontaneity was when Chris Rock made a Jude Law joke and Sean Penn ran onstage to complain that he didn’t get to be on the committee that decided whether it was okay to tell a joke or not. Bottom line, short of getting Tracy Morgan to host and letting him ad-lib stories from his childhood to introduce categories (seriously, make this phone call now), nothing all that interesting is going to happen.
Great news, everyone. Steve Martin has been nominated for six International Bluegrass Music Association Awards for his banjo album, The Crow: New Songs for the Five-String Banjo. Half of which was already released 28 years ago, according to The Globe and Mail:
The album’s subtitle is deceiving – many of the songs are not new, but rerecorded versions of tunes from his 1981 comedy album The Steve Martin Brothers, which featured a complete side of banjo tracks recorded in the seventies. [Ed. - That sounds rip-roaringly funny. I'm sure people who bought a comedy album weren't disappointed at all.]
I tell you what. I’m just fine with this. In fact, I hope he wins all six IBMA awards. Keep him focused on this banjo thing so he doesn’t make Pink Panther 3: Pink Pimpin’ it in Da Hood. Peter Sellers is and always will be Clouseau, and I will fight to the death mild discomfort anyone who says otherwise.
Below is a clip from The Pink Panther followed by a clip from The Jerk (with stranger-in-the-alps-style TV edits). What the hell happened? He seems to have forgotten the difference between sh-t and shinola.
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From Nancy Meyers, the director of Something’s Gotta Give and What Women Want comes Old People F*cking Part 3, aka It’s Complicated. I hope it lives up to its name better than Denise Richards’ reality show, because in Denise Richards’ world, “complicated” seems to mean “hanging out on the f*cking beach drinking wine” a lot. It must be rough being a hobo with money. Where was I? Oh right, the movie. See, Meryl Streep was married to Alec Baldwin, who left her for a hot 20-something. But now they’re having an affair, even though she’s his ex-wife, even though her architect Steve Martin also wants a piece, and yeah, mom, this looks totally hilarious and realistic too.
[Also available in HD at Apple]
Maybe it’s because the original came out the year my dad graduated from high school, but I just don’t get The Pink Panther. I like Steve Martin, but there’s really absolutely nothing about this that appeals to me. Am I too young? Or maybe not sophisticated enough to appreciate retarded slapstick of this caliber? Are they being ironic? I can’t even tell anymore.
