I’m not one of those smug wieners who will scream your ear off about how the British version is superior every time someone mentions The Office – please, people, jump in a volcano, and take your stinky limey DVDs with you*.  But I still love Ricky Gervais.  Even in his more broad, commercial projects he usually still finds a way to Trojan Horse some balls in there (here’s a horse I made for you! Surprise! I hid my balls in it!).  The latest news makes me even happier: Gervais has been working on a TV series starring Warwick Davis in a fictionalized version of Davis’ life called “Life’s Too Short”.  Gervais says it could eventually become a movie.

Ricky Gervais has hinted there may eventually be a film version of his new TV show Life’s Too Short, which centres on the travails of real-life vertically-challenged actor Warwick Davis.
Gervais and his long-term writing partner Stephen Merchant have penned the comedy series, described as “sort of like Curb Your Enthusiasm” for BBC2.
Asked if the duo were planning any future movie projects, Gervais said: “We want to do another one. Maybe we can do a film of Life’s Too Short.”
Merchant then cautioned: “Let’s see how the series goes. Let’s not get carried away,” to which his partner responded: “Let’s have it ready in case it’s a success. Always plan for success.” [Guardian]

I’d actually be excited about this project even if Gervais wasn’t involved.  If you don’t know who Warwick Davis is, you need to go rent Willow and Leprechaun immediately.  He’s the original Hollywood dwarf.  Dude makes Peter Dinklage look like Verne Troyer.

*And another thing! PAL sucks!  (*throws up ‘NTSC’ gang sign, C-walks*)

Cemetary Junction was written by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant (the same team behind the British Office and Extras).  That’s just about all I need to be interested, but in the interests of looking like I’m working, here’s the synopsis:

Cemetery Junction, set in 1970s England, follows three blue-collar friends who spend their days joking, drinking and chasing girls. [Ha, sounds like us, right, pussies? *slowly hides glass of Chardonnay*] Freddie (Christian Cooke) wants to leave their working-class world, but cool, charismatic Bruce (Tom Hughes) and lovable loser Snork (Jack Doolan) are happy with life the way it is.

Having known plenty of Brits, Scots, Aussies, Kiwis, South Africans, Irishmen, etc., I’d say I’m generally pretty good at understanding accents.  But is it just me, or was like 80% of everything that comes after the first scene completely unintelligible?  I had to watch it like three times and still all I heard was “Oy, cunt, ow’s da dodgy bloke a bob’s yer uncle’s lorrie lift, a bahmy bugga. Oy ‘eard ‘e shoyned da bobby’s boots, ‘e did.”

Also, what’s up with the downer title?  This is a comedy, right?  I’d have gone with Crotch Punch Station, or Banana Peel Alley.

The trailer for The Invention of Lying came out barely a week ago, and yet here’s Ricky Gervais, back with a teaser for Cemetery Junction, which he also co-wrote and co-directed with Stephen Merchant.  It isn’t much, mainly just him and Merchant ripping on Ralph Fiennes.  And for some reason, they give him a total pass on clearly being named “Ralph” yet making everyone refer to him as “Rafe”.  I seem to remember a little film where John Goodman played the king of England and it sure as hell wasn’t “King Rafe.”  Meanwhile, while I was trying to get to the bottom of this, I came upon this story from his Wiki page:

Fiennes stirred controversy in February 2007 when staff aboard a Qantas airline flight from Australia to India caught the actor leaving the same aeroplane lavatory as 38-year-old flight attendant Lisa Robertson. At first denying any allegations of a mid-air tryst, Robertson later confessed to having unprotected sex in the stall with Fiennes, whom she had met just hours before. Fiennes reportedly was en route to Mumbai, India, as a participant in AIDS awareness efforts for UNICEF. The organisation retained Fiennes as an ambassador, but Qantas ultimately relieved Robertson of her duties.  One month after the airline incident, Fiennes again made headlines when he reportedly disturbed sleeping guests at Bruges, Belgium’s high-class Hotel Tuilerieen during a 5 a.m. naked pool romp with four women. The actor was a guest at the hotel while shooting the film In Bruges.

Fine, I guess if your pimp hand is that strong you can keep the silent L.  Btw, sounds like he’s been stirring more than controversy, gnome sayin?  Oh!

…I’m a freak. I like the girls with the boom. I once rawdogged a lady in a aeroplane bafroom, I’m crazy.  Allow me to de-AIDS thee. They hated Duchess but it just don’t phase me…