UPDATE: Now with video. Don’t worry, my gynecologist says, “these things happen sometimes”.

I was going to write a promo for this new Step Up 3-D trailer, but I have an OBGYN appointment in my garage, so I’m going to let my good buddy Channing Tatum handle this one.

Yo girl, like once in our lifetime we gets to see a movie and sh-t, right? That like blows our mind, or something. And like, this movie is so tight, that you’re like, Aw yeah, I wanna get down and grind on that sh-t, yo. But then you watch it and you’re all like, Yo bitch, I wants more of that, it’s like a fine white girl’s poo-nanny, naw’mean? So then the studio is all like, Look mutha f-ckas, I be orderin another Step Up film and all the bitches’ panties drops, right? But naw, ain’t no C-Tate in Step Deuce because they ain’t come correct with the Ben Franks, respek son, what? Even without C-Tate, the chickenz is all like, Yo the moves is still tight, so I’mma want more because that dance life is legit, playboy. So this John Chu builds Step Trip like its got mad hydro and spoilers like them Asians do work, represent. And now all the bizznatches like, Oh snap, 3-D for real? Drink a 40 and pour some for 2-D because sh-t just got reals.

Holla at ya boy, MTV News:

Director Jon Chu, who also helmed 2008′s “Step Up 2: The Streets,” said that this flick is really going to capture the audience’s attention. “It’s not the blue and red anymore. It’s a different 3-D, totally new style,” he said about the new glasses. “You gotta get the new ones. They look like shades.”

Yo girl, them glasses better be Dolce and Gabbana, cuz C-Tate wears his bling at night. Can’t let the bitches see yo eyes, player. Keep ‘em guessing like, Yo when I gonna get a piece of C-Tate’s gear up in my lady grill, hurt for real. Step Up 3-D drops on August 6, girl. But I’ll drop my 6-9 tonight, beeyotch.

Yo girl, Burnsy and Cho-Cho done with this game for the week, proper. You wanna weekend preview? Bust out yo Boost Mobile and call that Moviefone sh-t, for real, pray for Biggie, pray for ‘Pac. We out, son.

- Burnsy

^{I have this wallpaper.  Not on my computer, on the inside of my van.}

Hack of all hacks Adam Shankman recently spoke to Collider about his upcoming third Step Up movie.  He revealed that the sequel to Step Up 2 the Streets will be called… *drumroll* …Step Up 3-D.  *fart sound*

“We were blown away with the tests we just did (for Step Up 3D). Seeing the dance in 3D, and an arm coming out and flips that are going by your head. It was such an incredible experience.”  Since he sounded excited about the footage he saw, I then asked if he would consider doing Hairspray 2 in 3D. He said, “Yeah, that would be cool in 3D because it has a pop-sensibility. 3D should be regulated [sic] to things with a pop-sensibility because that’s the experience you want from those kinds of films. Anything you really want to think about, you don’t want to see in 3D.”

Reached for comment, Paul McCartney said, “Oh, so ‘pop-sensibility’ means ‘by and for stupid people’ now?  That’s cool.  I guess I’ll just go f*ck myself.”

The poor French, their language just doesn’t allow for fun plays on words like "Step Up 2 the Streets".  Oh well, I guess "Sexy Dance" is a cool name too.  In a few months, look for Harrison Ford to reprise his role as Fedora LaCroix.

[Thanks to Drunkard Brian, who snapped this photo from his vacation in Paris] 

In honor of Step Up 2 the Streets, How She Move, et al. comes the new film Save the Last Stomp and Feel the Noise, Honey.  Oh man, the rec center is gonna get so saved. 

[Thanks to Bob for the tip] 

These are the posters for Step Up 2 the Streets (yup, it’s a sequel) and How She Move.  They both look very inspirational (Trailers here and here). Here’s a list of How She Move the Movie’s MySpace friends:

L Boogie (R.I.P cousin Chad Butler aka Pimp C)
♥MSz. PYT *THR0WEd* [[ RiP SHAY-SHAY ]]
We all need 2 except change 2008
{:S a R a H:} {:Truely Amazing<3:}
"clickable" BLADE
 THE OFFICIAL,MR SINGLE, DERRELL AKA FLASHY 
 Crank Dat Income : yotiK 
 ~FUCK WHT yU’ 0N..iiM iN L0V3~ 

Not to be outdone, How She Move has:

 *SunshyneAftaRayne*
 LiL’ BiT 
 ~LOVE IS HARD TO GET &FIND SO DONT GIVE UP ON IT~ 
 DIZ IZ MY YR… NOONE GON STOP ME 
 {KCK}Skyann♥♥

Jesus, it’s like idiot hieroglyphs.  Look for them in the Favorite Dance Movie Category at next year’s Peeple’s Choyce AwarddZ.  Daddy needs a drink. And a shotgun.