The “issue” of Alice Eve’s gratuitous T & A in Star Trek is a complicated one for me, because on the one hand, I’d really like to see better developed female characters in movies (better developed characters in general, really), but on the other, I quite enjoy seeing Alice Eve in her panties. It’s also hard to draw a line between not “exploiting” while simultaneously wanting people to lighten up about skin in general and accept the fact that deep down we’re just dumb animals that are engineered to want to rub genitals with each other, and part of that process is naturally objectifying. Is it really so much more enlightened to want to screw someone because they like the same crap as you and dress cool than it is because they have a hot bod? I’m not totally convinced. We all objectify each other a thousand times a day, just try to be polite about it.

Anyway, Damon Lindelof has, perhaps rightly, has been getting a lot of crap for Alice Eve’s character (though I’m not sure why the backlash has been so focused on Lindelof when there were two other writers and a director), a character who didn’t seem to have much to do besides strip down to her undies on a flimsy justification. (“Cor bloimey, guvna, oy rickin me shirt’s going to interfeah wiv da warp droives or somefin!”). Also, how is she British when her dad’s American? DASS RAYCESS. I digress, but it probably would’ve been more okay if her character had had more to do. I mean, we like to see Alice Eve in her underwear the same way we like to see spaceships explode and Chris Pine’s dreamy blue eyes, and half of the movie is a wish-fulfillment fantasy, but at least those are desires we try to justify in the story. As it was, it seemed like she was only there to take her shirt off. Which understandably makes people angry, because it makes it seems like that’s the only role women can play. That is a totally justified criticism. For the record, Damon Lindelof has conceded the point.

Via his Twitter:

- I copped to the fact that we should have done a better job of not being gratuitous in our representation of a barely clothed actress.
- We also had Kirk shirtless in underpants in both movies. Do not want to make light of something that some construe as mysogenistic.
- What I’m saying is I hear you, I take responsibility and will be more mindful in the future.
- Also, I need to learn how to spell “misogynistic.”

Good for Lindelof for admitting “okay, my bad,” instead of just ignoring it or changing the subject. (Orci was probably too busy ranting about false flags and building seven to comment).

Me, I’m just glad this whole sexism thing is finally behind us. (*cracks beer, puts hand down pants*)

I sat next to a fidgety gay couple at my screening of Star Trek, but I thought it was just because I lived in San Francisco. Turns out it was actually part of a broader trend (THANKS, OBAMA). That trend being, that girls and youngins largely stayed away from Star Trek 2: 2 Trek 2 Furious. I guess that’s what they get for building a spaceship that looks like a flying saucer with three penises.

Trek earned $70.6 million for the weekend, which is decent, but not as much as the first, or as much as Paramount wanted or expected. Sucks to be you, bros.

While it’s usually unfair to knock a movie for opening in line with its predecessor, it certainly feels like the “disappointment” label is applicable in this case. All signs suggest the 2009 Trek is very well-liked (it has a strong 8.0 rating on IMDb) and Paramount’s marketing did a decent job walking the sequel tightrope (a balanced approach of promising more-of-the-same and offering something new). Additionally, there was four years of ticket price inflation and the addition of 3D and IMAX premiums. Based on historical comparisons, this should have added up to around $100 million for the four-day weekend, which was what Paramount was publicly forecasting going in to the weekend.

Trek‘s demographics tell an interesting story that contributes to that theory: the audience skewed heavily male (64 percent) and older (73 percent over the age of 25). In comparison, the first movie did a better job reaching women (only 60 percent male) and younger audiences (only 65 percent over 25). [BoxOfficeMojo]

It would’ve had more female viewers, but a lot of girls got left on the curb when they kept calling it “Star Wars.” It’s just as well, they probably would’ve just sat there texting the whole time anyway.

My guess is, they didn’t sell the villain enough. Iron Man 3 made $175 million opening weekend, and that was at least advertised as Iron Man fighting The Mandarin. Star Trek 2 had the crew that we already knew, plus an unnamed British dude with really messy bangs (“Run for your lives! He’s all drippy!”) JJ Abrams likes to keeps his projects all secrety, like he did with his Trek fanboy handjob reveal halfway through this one, but that probably works against you somewhat when it comes to makin’ money. To extend the metaphor, secret handjobs are nice, but you make a lot more cash when you just shout “Hey! Over here! Handjobs!”

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Well, the resale value on this spaceship is absolutely f*cked.

Opening Everywhere: Star Trek Into Darkness

Maybe Opening Somewhere: Erased, The English Teacher

FilmDrunk Suggests: I expect Star Trek to be great, and a lot of my dorkier friends who don’t mind being jammed into crowded theaters at midnight told me that it was just that. I just figure that as people are still bitching and moaning about Iron Man 3 that this will be the next to be nitpicked to death. Oh the irony of imperfect people demanding perfection from films. They can’t all be RED.

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Ladies and gentlemen, bros and babes of all ages, welcome to the 2013 FilmDrunk Summer Movie Guide, your exclusive, ultimate and all-around life-changing directory to the summer’s biggest action-packed blockbusters, laugh-jammed piss-your-pants comedies, tear-jerking dramas and whatever crap that Adam Sandler made. Print this out and slap it up on your fridge with those magnet letters that spell out “penis” and don’t miss out on a single film experience between now and the end of September.

You may be asking, “Hey Burnsy, why now? Why not last week when GI Joe: Retaliation came out?” Because, a-hole, the summer movie season doesn’t ever begin until Michael-f*cking-Bay says it does, and with Pain and Gain hitting theaters – nay, theatres! – this Friday, Bay is telling us that it’s time to put on our adult diapers and prepare ourselves for the *explosion sound*.

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The other day when I posted the Fergie song on the Great Gatsby soundtrack, I couldn’t shake the feeling that The Great Gatsby would be the non tongue-in-cheek Spring Breakers. This latest batch of posters only seemed to confirm my suspicions, thus I added captions. I think the Spring Breakers captions work so well that I didn’t even need to alter them. Memes, mash-ups, the internet, etc. It’s important work we’re doing here.

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