With The Avengers hitting DVD September 25th, more and more deleted and alternate scenes are starting to show up online. Sometimes I wonder if some of these are actually deleted scenes or just scenes that they shoot special to promote the DVD release. Have you seen the “director’s cut” of The Town? If that’s actually the cut Ben Affleck wanted, Ben Affleck is some kind of Frank Drebin director who’s been inadvertantly Forrest Gumping his way into undeserved accolades this whole time, because the director’s cut is terrible. Anyway, this deleted scene from The Avengers isn’t that bad – much better than the alternate opening that hit yesterday – but it does have my least favorite of all Marvel scenes, the Stan Lee cameo, the part of every Marvel movie where they throw out all pretense of storytelling in order to wink at you while every neckbeard in the audience puffs out his mantits in the hopes of being the first to acknowledge he’s been successfully pandered to. Relax, fatty, at this point, Condoleeza Rice probably knows who Stan Lee is. That said, Chris Evans is dreamy and I could stare at him staring at stuff all day.

Read the rest of this entry »

Too subtle?

It was barely a month ago that I brought you the news that Stan Lee had plans for a 3D animated film, TV series, and comic book starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, called “The Governator” (you can watch the awful trailer here if you hate yourself). The idea was about as stupid as a sitcom starring Karl Malone as an actual mailman (do NOT let any producers read that), so it’s with a certain amount of satisfaction that I can now report that the project has since been shelved.  In light of Arnold’s propensity to cum everywhere like that speech in Pumping Iron we used to think was a metaphor, that is.

“In light of recent events, A Squared Entertainment, POW, Stan Lee Comics and Archie Comics have halted production,” A Squared said in a statement.

According to a confidential outline for the show obtained by The Times, “The Governator” cast Schwarzenegger as a superhero who “leads a double life” that includes being “a devoted family man” who “has to remember his anniversary, his kids’ birthdays” in subplots that are “milked for comedy, tension and conflict.” [LATimes]

God forbid the double life include a secret Mexican family, that might actually make it interesting. I guess they figured not even a cyborg from the future could remember than many birthdays.  On the plus side, my pitch about a buddy comedy starring Antonio Cromartie and a sassy robot who helps him remember all of his kids might be just light-hearted enough. MEEP MORP. ANGELICA, SHE IS THREE, BLEEP BORP (*dog covers its eyes, laugh track*).

[picture via Catmas]

In a stroke of inspiration that can only be described as a juggernaut of blinding, beautiful brilliance from Heaven, Stan Lee has teamed up with Arnold Schwarzenegger for an animated TV series called “The Governator,” the trailer for which you can watch below if you feel like wasting three minutes of your life.  In addition to the TV series, comic book, and internet programming, Schwarzenegger recently told a Cannes press conference that plans are in the works for a 3D feature film coming in 2013.

Clearly, there’s enough material here for all that and more.  I’m thinking Governator breakfast cereals, Governator jeans, Rock Band: Governator, Governator tea cozies, Governator f*ckable ipads — the possibilities are literally endless.  I think the genius of this project is the way they took an already painfully-obvious nickname and added tedious backstory.  My God, it’s a revelation.  It’s a revolution.  It’s a revelevolution.  The Governator should be awarded the first-ever Nobel Peace Prize in Miracles.  Arnold Schwarzenegger plays The Governator, an actual governor/terminator. Can you imagine?  This would be like if you wrote a sitcom for Karl Malone, and in it he played an actual mailman.

Read the rest of this entry »

Pictured: An average movie blogger

I’m putting myself at severe risk of contracting dandruff and pink eye to report to you the following news: Morgan Spurlock will be teaming up with Joss Whedon, AintItCoolNews founder Harry Knowles, and Stan Lee to create a documentary about Comic-Con.  Hmm, I think I liked this better when it was narrated by Olivia Munn in a Slave Leia outfit. (*takes drag on inhaler*)

Deflect my spell, Hollywood Reporter.  LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!

Spurlock, who was nominated for an Oscar for his “Super Size Me” documentary, is directing. Shooting begins in June, tracking its subjects to this year’s Comic-Con, which runs July 21-25 in San Diego.  Knowles, Whedon and Lee are on board in undetermined consulting roles.

“Comic-Con Episode Four: A Fan’s Hope” will, in the worlds of the film’s makers, “follow seven different people from across America, and around the world, as they descend upon the veritable Mecca of fandom and experience the rapture that is Comic-Con.”

I think by “rapture”, they mean that it’s like driving along when all of a sudden, all the world’s non-nerds are simultaneously miracled into heaven, and everyone that’s left behind gets herded into a big auditorium where porn stars stand around trying to sell you Krod Mandoon DVDs.

Apparently Stan Lee has other ways of keeping himself busy these days besides making annoying cameos in Marvel movies (see video after jump), because he’s developing a show about a gay superhero for Showtime.  The show will be an adaptation of

Thom Creed tries not to disappoint his dad, a disgraced caped crusader who now toils as a factory drudge, so he keeps his gay identity and his developing superpowers under wraps. Then he secretly tries out for the prestigious League, joining aspiring heroes in villain-busting adventures that escalate alongside more private discoveries. [Booklist]

Dude, f-ck Showtime.  Superheroes are supposed to be about men in capes, spandex, makeup, tight leather, and underwear on the outside of their pants, not some fag shit.

[Picture Source]
Read the rest of this entry »