If you ever wondered what a U2 song about Spider-Man would sound like, wonder no longer, because Reeve Carney, star of the Spider-Man musical with music from U2 and the Edge (screw those other guys, they should be thankful they’re not homeless), went on Good Morning America this morning to sing “Boy Who Falls from the Sky.”  Oh, don’t worry, the lyrics are super deep, you guys.  This makes “Yellow” look like “Your Body is a Wonderland.”

You can change your mind
but you cannot change your heart.
It’s a compass and a map, and a key to the chart.
You can fly too high, and get too close to the sun
see how the boy falls from the sky

IN THE NAAAAAAAAAME OF WEBS!  FLYING HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH ON MY SPIDER WEBS……

At the very least, the drummer has a sweet combover.  Meanwhile, director Julie Taymor sat down for a chat and showed off the designs for some of the villains.  Here’s Green Goblin:

Looks a little light in the goblin shoes, amirite?  I mean, I think I know what he‘s gobblin, and it ain’t green, gnome sayin?  (*toilet flush*) (*slide whistle*) (*bike horn*) (*squirts German Shepard with seltzer*).   Anyway, I don’t really understand theater.  Is this good?  I know plays are like movies for poor people, and Broadway is for people who want to spend a lot of money to do something obsolete, so I guess this is… fitting?  I don’t know.  I’ve tried to weigh the merits of this, but it’s kind of like reviewing the steam engine.

[via ToplessRobot]

(Teresa Palmer, Emma Roberts)

Sony is busy auditioning actresses to play Spider-Man’s love interest (not Mary Jane this time) in their Mark Webb-directed, 3D reboot of Spider-Man, and The Hollywood Reporter now has a list of five actresses in the running.  They say the lead may not end up being one of these five, but, you know… food for thought.  With the title role being played by Scarfield (Andrew Garfield), an important consideration is finding a girl you’ve never heard of before. To that end, this seems like a fine list:

Lilly Collins (“Priest”), Ophelia Lovibond (“Nowhere Boy”), Teresa Palmer (“The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”), Imogen Poots (“Fright Night”) and Emma Roberts (“4.3.2.1″) are among the finalists.  The report also indicates that additional actresses may be under consideration and that Mary Elizabeth Winstead (“Scott Pilgrim vs the World”) was among the finalists at one point before dropping out. The actresses are said to be meeting with Webb and Garfield this weekend and if none of them pan out another round of casting will begin. [MTV]

Whoa whoa whoa, time out: “Imogen Poots”?  That’s a real name, and not the title of a Victorian book of limericks about flatulence?  She needs to marry Benedict Cumberbatch immediately, and invite us all over for tea to celebrate the union of Cumberbatch and Poots.  “Oi, bugga me norks, guv, is da guests ‘ere awready? Dog’s your uncle bobby lorrie lift, but we’s stiw cleanin da chimneys. But you know Mistah Cumbabatch, da bloke ain’t met a penny dat ‘e ain’t pinched!”

Take your jazz hands off that pistol, musical lover. It’s been a long, dark road, but it seems that the Spider-Man Broadway musical with music by U2 I told you about a while back (“Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark”) will finally be getting its debut.  Rolling Stone quotes producer Michael Cohl, who says preview performances will start November 14th and opening night is scheduled for December 21st. That’s a picture of the actual set above (I added gay Spider-Man for… uh… scale).

In October ’08, the Post reported that the play would cost $40 million (which they were trying to bring down to $35m), and would have a weekly running cost of $1 million.  They estimated that it would have to run for 8,000 years in a Broadway theater just for it to break even (which would be three years shy of Cats‘ run).  More recent estimates put the cost even higher, at $50 million, though it doesn’t say whether that includes the weekly cost.  Luckily, they’ve got some big stars to headline the bill.  Hold on, I’m receiving an update…

Jennifer Damiano will fill the role of Mary Jane Watson, and Patrick Page will play both Norman Osborn and the villain Green Goblin. The actors join Reeve Carney, playing Peter Parker.  Because of the delays and the uncertain nature of the production, both actress Evan Rachel Wood, who was to star as Mary Jane, and Alan Cumming, in the Green Goblin role, quit. [RollingStone]

Director Julie Taymor originally wanted Jim Sturgess for Peter Parker, but apparently that didn’t work out either.  Which could have something to do with Jim Sturgess being an actor who gets offered real film roles and this being a Broadway musical about Spider-Man.  With U2 songs.

Bono and the Edge, who wrote both the lyrics and music for the show, remain firmly in place. Last year the Edge said that the music “touches on opera, it touches on rock & roll. There are some real character-driven songs as well, very unusual song types for us.”

By “character driven,” do you mean talk-singing numbers sung from the perspective of the Green Goblin?  Because that sounds great.  Good luck with that.

Over on LatinoReview today, you can watch a video that they say is Josh Hutcherson’s audition tape for the part of Peter Parker in the Mark Webb-directed Spider-Man reboot, a role that eventually went to Andrew Garfield (Scarfield).  They say it was choreographed by up-and-coming (hee hee!) fight choreographer Larnell Stovall from UNDISPUTED 3, and that Hutcherson used the tape to get the attention of Sony execs. 

Though if this was an “audition”, given that Hutcherson’s only dialog was “Thanks” and “late for class,” I’m not sure what it was supposed to prove. That he could do basic stunt work and make this face a lot?  That he could hear a line like “Looks like your dream girl’s sweet on Parker, bro,” and not burst out laughing and ruin the scene?  I’ll admit, I was impressed with that part.

And I’m sorry I couldn’t post an embed of the video here on the site, but to make it up to you guys, I’m posting Gerard Butler’s Dracula audition below, which is arguably EVEN BETTER.

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Hahaha, I love Hollywood sometimes.  Earlier when I announced the (incorrect) rumor that Josh Hutcherson had been cast as Spider-Man, I was all like, “Hey, well at least it’s not the fruity weirdo in the scarf, huh?” Smash cut to five minutes ago, when Sony made an official announcement about the new Spider-Man kid, and surprise, it’s Andrew Garfield, the scarf guy.  Or as I like to call him, “Scarfield.”  Some people say other pictures of him exist besides the scarf one, but if that’s true, I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT.

After a comprehensive worldwide casting search, Andrew Garfield has been chosen to portray Peter Parker when Spider-Man swings back onto the screen in 3D on July 3, 2012.  The new film will begin production in early December directed by Marc Webb from a screenplay by James Vanderbilt.

I’ve heard Scarfield hates lasagna but loves gossipy cigarette breaks.  Okay, okay, I’ll stop with the scarf jokes. But seriously, million dollar question: who the hell is this kid?

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