John Malkovich and Anne Hathaway have been named as the villains Vulture and Vulturess in Spider-Man 4.  Movieline, reporting an exclusive, describes them as ‘circling’ the project, though it’s unclear if that means they’re close to a deal or if it’s just a forced vulture pun.

If negotiations proceed according to plan, Malkovich will be playing Spider-Man’s nemesis the Vulture, who packs a punch despite his advanced age. The Vulture is able to fly through the air and brandish his sharp wings to attack Spider-Man.
Hathaway is currently the top choice for Felicia Hardy, who’d been long-rumored as one of the new characters in this installment.  However, unlike in the comic books, this Felicia Hardy doesn’t transform into the Black Cat. Instead, Raimi’s Felicia will become a brand-new superpowered figure called the Vulturess.
What does this mean for poor Dylan Baker [the "what does cum mean" guy in Happiness], who’s patiently played Curt Connors in the last two installments? As much as it would seem that the series is setting up his eventual transformation into supervillain the Lizard, we hear that the suits simply can’t bring themselves to sign off on such an odd-looking enemy — instead, they’d rather hew closer to villains with a human face.

It’s fun to imagine a room full of grown men in suits debating the relative merits of various Spider-Man villains.  But I can’t argue with choosing Anne Hathaway ‘s face over a big CGI lizard.  I’d pick Anne Hathaway’s face over just about anything.  I’ve been shooting my webbing at it for years.

FACT: Black Spider-Man shouts “SKEET SKEET!” when he shoots his webbing.

Question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: no one knows the answer, so we’re free to speculate wildly!  Yee haw!  Now who wants to get shot in the dark?

Oh joy.  This is my favorite part of the job, reporting on the breathless rumor mongering of the nerdlingtons who actually care about this stuff.  It turns out, Black Cat is going to be in Spider-Man 4!  And she’ll maybe be played by Rachel McAdams!

We can exclusively reveal that actress Rachel McAdams has met with the producers of the film for a major role. McAdams is said to be a top contender for the role of Felicia Hardy, known to comic fans as The Black Cat.  Fans recall that when Spidey first encounters the Black Cat, she’s a cat burglar looking to free her ailing father from prison. She becomes smitten with the web-slinger, to the point of a stalker-level obsession. Later stories had Peter reciprocating her affection and her becoming a lover, a friend and ally [hey, that's what it says on my business cards!]. [Mania]

Yeah, so she’s basically Catwoman.  But wait!  It turns out Romola Garai, who’s also a 20-something blonde actress, recently auditioned for the same movie! Could it be for the same part???

“Love is at the root of everything good that has ever happened and will happen.” This phrase swam into focus as I moved up the escalator at Oxford Circus tube on Tuesday morning on my way to put myself “on tape” for a part in Spider-Man 4. This is the acting equivalent of the London Marathon in that it’s important to try your best as long as you understand that you aren’t going to win. [TheObserver]

WHICH ONE OF THESE BROADS WILL PLAY THE CHARACTER THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE IN THE MOVIE, OH GOD THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.  I hope it’s Romola Garai.  She’d make a good villain because she has fantastic boobs but it sounds like she writes spoken word poetry about her ovaries.

(The Bruce Campbell mammogram machine made preventative cancer check-ups fun and sexy.)

For the record, I hate giving superheroes cutesy nicknames like they’re my frat bros, but I gotta keep these headlines down to one line so there you go.  Anyway, Sam Raimi favorite and all-around awesome guy Bruce Campbell recently told Access Hollywood that he’ll have “a major part” in Spider-Man 4, which is set to start filming in January.  A fourth Spider-Man isn’t the best idea, but it’s hard to go wrong with more Bruce Campbell (who’s previously had cameos as a wrestling announcer, a waiter, and theater usher).  Bruce Campbell is like a cross between Robert Downey Jr. and Patrick Warburton, and I would f’ck both those guys.  Wait, what?  Who typed that?

No word yet on what role he might play, but might I suggest the obvious?  Bruce Campbell should play Bruce Campbell with an evil hand.  It would make it awesome and meta-fictional, like JCVD but less Belgian.  And with more webbing.

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Sony and Marvel have revised their release date schedule for their upcoming projects.  Make sure to clear your calendar on these dates (ha, just kidding. if you even considered it, I’m guessing your schedule’s already clear. not like me. my life is a party. non-stop. with chicks.):

Iron Man 2 – May 7, 2010
Spider-Man 4 – May 6, 2011
Thor – June 17, 2011
The First Avenger: Captain America – July 22, 2011
The Avengers – May 4, 2012 [via Superherohype]

Thereby making 2011 The Year Comic-Book Movies Receded to Post-Batman & Robin Obscurity.  (I capitalized it so it’d look official. Also why I’m wearing this green visor.).

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