Spain’s Pedro Almodóvar is basically the epitome of “acclaimed foreign auteur,” and when you think acclaimed foreign auteur, you think of movies like Amour, Michael Haneke’s heartbreakingly beautiful ode to old people having strokes. What you don’t normally think of is gay flight attendants doing elaborate song and dance numbers, which is what I’m So Excited seems to be. This might be the best 47-second movie trailer I’ve ever seen.
"Hi, I'm Elijah Wood. I ate a baby once."
I saw this story about Elijah Wood joining a Spanish film called Grand Piano in my news feed a bunch of times without reading it because it sounded boring, but now I’m kicking myself for not clicking through to the subheadline.
The project, written by Damien Chazelle and to be directed by Eugenio Mira, is like “Speed” at a piano.
Wait, what? He’s going to ride around town on a piano? How does that work? Jeez, Spain sounds like a Dali painting.
The story concerns a once-great concert pianist who suffers from stage fright and comes back to perform after a five-year hiatus. Just when he’s about to play the first bar, he notices somebody has written a threatening note on his music sheet. He’s now forced to play his best concert ever to save his life as well as his wife’s. Think Speed at a piano. The movie will shoot at Ciudad de la Luz Studios in Alicante, Spain, and a week in Chicago. A late summer production start is being eyed. [THR]
Hmm, well I’m no script scientist, but the thing about Speed is that a bus moves. You have to watch out for little kids and try not to drive off overpasses. If Speed was set at a piano, there’s really no conflict until the climactic moment when you poop yourself. That’s not really a movie, it’s more like a concert with concerned faces. But if they are making a movie about a piano marathon, I’d suggest getting Carey Mulligan from Shame as the singer. That bitch can really stretch out a song.
Photo credit: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com
From the Telegraph: “A ceramic figurine of Michael Jackson defecating is seen at a market in Barcelona, Spain. Caganers – statuettes of well-known people defecating – are a Christmas tradition in Catalonia, dating back to the 18th century. Catalonians hide caganers in Christmas Nativity scenes and invite friends to find them. The figures symbolise fertilisation, hope and prosperity for the coming year.” Yup, you learn something new every day.
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FREE COMEDY SHOW IN LA this Friday, with me, Joe King, TJ Miller, Mark Ellis, Jodi Miller, Michelle Nunes, and Alejandro Ansoleaga. Come on out and support. Support DEEEZ NUTS, I mean. But seriously, I’m probably going to re-invent stand-up comedy as we know it and then celebrate by ripping tasty licks on the sax. |ComradesofComedy @ Bar Lubitsch
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*Rec 2 (yes, there’s an effing dot in the title) is the sequel to the Spanish zombie movie Rec – you may remember Quarantine, the American remake? Ha, that was a joke, not even the director remembers Quarantine. Anyway, Rec 2 is like Blair Witch Project, but with zombies, and in Spanish. And the trailer has opera music because opera music is classy. Basically, Rec 2 is like a $2 whore who holds her pinky out while she jerks you off for crack money.
Hugh Jackman recently went on the Spanish television show El Hormiguero, which, according to my junior high experience with Spanish, translates roughly as “The hormi white person.” The Wolverine actor proceeded to stand between a jockey and a guy wearing a bulging, skintight bodysuit with a cape, in an apparent attempt to look more butch by comparison. An attempt which was a resounding success. Touché, Jackman, touché.
But then, before the image had a chance to register, he starred in this Got Milk ad sporting a wifebeater and cum on his upper lip. Why must my love life be so confusing!
