Basically the best Sorority Recruitment Video of all time

08.16.11 Written by Vince Mancini

RADICAL!

Personally, I love sorority chicks. For one thing, they take pride in their physical appearances , and for another, they’re easily fooled (IMPORTANT QUALITIES). Yet still, a lot people ask me, “Vince, is there anyone more gullible and enthusiastic-to-a-fault than sorority chicks?” To which I would answer yes. Sorority chicks who volunteer for their school’s Panhellenic Council. It’s twice the responsibility of junior high student council with half the political power! Why not? Yay, it’ll be fun, break out the puffy paint! Anyway, just such a group of girls from the University of Alabama made a video for Rush Week, which you can watch below. It has pretty much everything I look for in a sorority recruitment video:

  • Star wipes!
  • Circle wipes!
  • Grid wipes!
  • Front-to-back wipes!
  • Record scratch sound effects!
  • Nice white girls in clumsy, exaggerated parody of rap culture!
  • A call to action to “Go Greek!” (That’s slang for butt secks, tee hee!)
  • White chicks with no rhythm!
  • “Parents are missin’!”
  • A Rebecca Black parody!
  • Actual black parody!

I could go on, but suffice to say, it is magnificent. If you find Chet Haze videos not nearly uncomfortable enough, than this is the video for you. And there’s not a single minority! Not even an Asian! How is that even possible? This “University of Alabama…” are we sure it’s a college?

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ANNA FARIS BONER DONATION PROGRAM

08.16.07 Written by Vince Mancini

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Usually, posting girlie pics is the domain of WithLeather and WWTDD, but hey, i like hot chicks too.  "You hear that, mom?  I'M NOT GAY."

Anyway, this is Anna Faris on the set of some stupid ass movie from comingsoon.net.

The 2008 movie centers on a Playboy bunny (Faris) who gets kicked out of the Playboy Mansion and becomes the house mother to the lamest sorority on campus. Dana Goodman, Emma Stone, Kat Dennings, Katharine McPhee, Rumer Willis and Sarah Wright co-star.

They're all SFW, sadly.   One time I dressed as a girl and joined the hottest sorority on campus.  I fell in love with a girl who I'd once seen as only eye candy, but came to realize had a heart of gold.  I think she was falling for me too, but she still thought I was a girl!  What to do?!

Anyway, yadda yadda yadda, we both taught each other a lot about livin' and a little 'bout love.  We're married now.  Go fuck yourself.   

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