UPDATE: The final numbers are in, showing Inception at $62.8 million, up slightly from the estimate of $60.4

Inception opened over the weekend, and while that was the movie event of the summer for dorks like you and me who can use the internet and visit Wal Mart without aid of a Rascal scooter, there was some question as to whether such an expensive “art” movie would play to the real America.  It was kind of an important issue, because regardless of whether you liked it or not, Inception failing to earn out could jeopardize the chances of a studio ever giving a director the creative freedom to make an expensive, non-comic book, non-sequel, non-franchise, non-board game, non-remake, non-Will Smith’s-son film like this ever again — even to a big swinging wiener like Chris Nolan.

Luckily, like free-PBR night at the local dive, The Heartland and The Fartland seem to be in agreement on this one.  Predictions for Inception‘s first weekend had been anywhere from $40 million to $60 million, and in a rare, restoring-our-faith-in-humanity move, early estimates put it at $60.4 million.  These are just estimated numbers, and based on anecdotal evidence of all the people I know who saw it on Sunday, I imagine the actual numbers will be up slightly from this when they come in.

Oh hey, more good news: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice tanked at number three, earning $17 million for number three, behind Despicable Me.  This is the second flop in a row for Jerry Bruckheimer, whose Prince of Persia topped out at $89 million domestically (though it did well overseas).  Apparently people weren’t charmed by “I am the sorcerer… and you are my apprentice hurrr durrr hurrrr hadouken party” premise.  I hear that to ease the pain, Jay Baruchel went to  Schmuckheimer’s house and played him a sad, sad song on his nose-kazoo.

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Opening this weekend (trailers after the jump):

Inception
That serious foghorn sound can mean only one thing: it’s motherf*cking Inception time!  I’ve been waiting for this a long time, but at this point, it doesn’t even matter whether Chris Nolan’s crazy dream heist movie is even good.  Just the perception of it as the “smart” “art” movie that they didn’t know how to market makes me want to drag everyone I know into the theater.  Can you imagine that?  “We don’t know how to sell this movie. It’s awesome and everyone likes it so far, but it’s too original. How do you expect me to find an audience for this?”  Honestly, even if this doesn’t look good to you at all, just see it.  Buy a ticket and sneak into Predators if you want.  Because if this fails, we are f*cked.  It’ll be all dogs in sunglasses and Will Smith’s wiener kids from here on out.

Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Every TV spot for this I’ve seen included Nic Cage delivering the line, “I am the sorcerer, and you are my apprentice.”  Sweet. Good thing you cleared that up.  That said, Jay Baruchel’s ridiculous nose-kazoo voice at the beginning of the trailer makes me laugh every time.

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Nic Cage hasn’t paid his FilmDrunk tenant rent in over three months, but that’s okay because he always makes us laugh with his lucky crack pipe stories. Also immensely entertaining is when he conducts interviews about The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and talks about how his sorcerer father, magic and America’s teachers are the reason that he chose to do the movie. No, not the card game, broheim, but thanks for trying.

Star-Telegram, let me hold your bra for you:

“My father was the sorcerer in my life,” Cage says. “He was a professor of comparative literature and a philosopher and very interested in stimulating young minds to think and use imagination. He wasn’t interested in money, but in social work. He was Balthazar Blake…” [Cage's character from The Sorcerer's Apprentice...this guy-Ed.]

“This is my homage to teachers — to honor the teachers making no money to enlighten young people’s minds. It’s all about imagination combined with willpower. To me that’s what teachers do. They are sorcerers educating the apprentices. That’s what magic is all about.” [source]

Look, I’m sorry but I had to queef really hard in the middle of that second part -I just couldn’t keep it together. We’re all still talking about a Jerry Bruckheimer project, aren’t we? Oh good, because for a moment there I thought this was a biography on Jaime Escalante. Look The Sorcerer’s Apprentice was made to juice the wallets of parents everywhere, not teachers. I’ll trust the man when it comes to iguanas and Pyramid tombs, but I refuse to sit here farting, thinking about how he’s created an homage to his sorcerer father and America’s educational system. Then again, if by some unexplainable reason this all happens to be true, Nic Cage has once again PWND the universe. In which case it’s now your move, God.

-Chodin

(Hippie Cat says, “Whoa, I am tripping the f*ck out right now, dude.”)

Nic Cage was on Letterman last night to promote The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and it’s nice to see that he’s really trying to ride this “yes, I might be a little crazy” wave to see where it takes him.  It’s much more fun to watch than his “Hurrr, I’m a cryptologist from MIT, how’s my hair?” shtick from a few years back.  Anyway, in the video below, Letterman asks Cage if he drank beer in high school, and he says no, “but I had a bag of mushrooms in my refrigerator.”  Then he goes into a story about how his cat used to get into his mushroom stash (“they were like cat nip to him”) and talks about the time they took them together.

“So I thought well what the heck, I better do it with him.  And I remember lying on the bed, and Louis was lying on the desk, and we would sit there staring at each other, for hours.”

I’m assuming the entire story is made up, either that, or Nic Cage once owned a cat that could open refrigerators, which is actually a lot more interesting than the news that Nic Cage does mushrooms (news flash: everyone who owns snakes does mushrooms).  Then he tells another cat story.  The coup de grace of that one is that he fed the cat sardines, and the cat said, “Hi.”  Haha, good story, Nic Cage.

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Just minutes after posting the latest trailer for The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, I found this new footage from the sequel!  Wow, this has never happened before! I can’t tell from this scene whether Nic Cage returns as “the Sorcerer,” but I think that kid who fights the dragon’s got star power. It’s written all over him. All over his hadoukens.

[Hat tip: Fightlinker]