It seems like the only reason Sony remade Spider-Man was so that they could recast it, since it was basically the same origin story, but with different actors and worse writing. And the only explanation I hear from people who liked it is that they hated Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield was way better. I imagine trading Kirsten Dunst for Shailene Woodley will have similar appeal. Here she is on the set of Amazing Spider-Man 2 in New York yesterday, with Marc Webb back to direct and a release date in 2014. I barely recognize her without the bikini, but it’s nice to know that she’s 21 now (phew). Though I’ll be honest, very few of my superhero fantasies involved a love interest wearing a skirt over leggings. Can’t we send Spider-Man to Hawaii or something? Though I guess his powers are much more effective in areas with tall buildings. That’s the curse of Spider-Man’s powers that no one ever talks about – high real estate prices. With great power comes exorbitant price per square foot.

[more pics at JustJared]

“I HAAATE MERLOT!!!”

According to a number of very important, very legitimate news sources that report only the Earth-shakingest of scoopy scoops, Paul Giamatti is in talks for the sequel to The Amazing Spider-Man, in which he’ll be playing a villain called “The Rhino.” The Rhino wears a suit that gives him super strength and super speed, and has a big horn on the top of his head. And now, I’m guessing, he’ll also have some kind of crippling neurosis.

Paul Giamatti is in talks to join The Amazing Spider-Man 2 as the villain known as The Rhino, and Felicity Jones is negotiating for an unspecified role.
The duo would bolster an already impressive cast. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are back as Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy, Jamie Foxx is portraying bad guy Electro, Shailene Woodley is Mary Jane Watson, and Dane DeHaan is Harry Osborne.
The Rhino first appeared in Amazing Spider-Man #41 in 1966 as a thug from a Soviet Bloc country who wore a superhuman suit that made him invulnerable while giving him superstrength and superspeed. It also had a deadly horn on top.
In more recent comics, he became a sympathetic figure who found himself allying with Spider-Man. [HollywoodReporter]

Sony plans to rush into… er, begin production next month. I hope they write a really good motivation for the villain in this one, like they did for in the last Spider-Man. “Hey, what if he tried to turn everyone else into rhinos and then climbed a bridge for some reason? That’d be cool, right?”

I’m okay with the absurd motivations, but why not go all out with it? They keep trying to make the bad guy this disgruntled scientist who starts out a genius and then goes wrong, and then he has this incredibly convoluted master plan for world domination, and his plan doesn’t really make sense, but then the movie and everyone in it has to pretend like it does. Why not just go full crazy? Why does he have to be a sane madman? Like, maybe the bad guy kills a whole bunch of people at a football stadium like Bane, but instead of making a big speech he just goes out there and starts shoving bananas up his ass because he likes the attention. They need more people like me in these focus groups.

In a strange twist, Vince and I actually agreed that The Amazing Spider-Man wasn’t just a lousy film, as it was also the same exact story as the original Spider-Man retold and simply filmed with a few different characters. And while I disagree with Vince saying that Alfred Molina as Dr. Octopus was the greatest comic book movie villain of all-time (I prefer Heath Ledger’s Joker, Jack Nicholson’s Joker, Ian McKellan’s Magneto and Tom Hiddleston’s Loki, to name a few), I can agree that he was by far the best Spider-Man villain. But then, that’s like saying Nick was the best 98 Degrees singer.

I guess that’s why Sony and director Marc Webb are trying to swing for the fences for a villain in The Amazing Spider-Man 2, as Variety reported yesterday that Jamie Foxx is in negotiations to play Electro, the guy with a starfish on his face. And according to Foxx’s Twitter, it’s probably going to happen.

Sources also told Variety that Foxx would play Electro, and Foxx later tweeted, “Dressed up as Electro for Halloween last night. Costume fits well.”

Electro is the alter ego of Max Dillon, an enemy of Spider-Man who gains the ability to control electricity after being struck by lightning. Created by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko, the character first appeared in “The Amazing Spider-Man #9″ in February 1964.

Variety also points out that Sony is growing quite accustomed to cutting Foxx checks, as he’s starring in Django Unchained and what will obviously be the greatest action film in history, White House Down. But as for Electro, I agree with my Gamma Squad cousin Dan Seitz that Foxx is definitely an inspired choice for a comic book villain, but I just don’t like the Electro character. And if you’re going to have a character who has been struck by lightning, you won’t do it better than this…

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Hey, you guys remember Manimal? F*ckin’ classic, am I right? I mean who could forget Manimal? I remembered the sh*t out of Manimal five minutes go when I Googled it.

Sony Pictures Animation has picked up the movie rights to Manimal, a short-lived 1983 NBC series, and is developing the project as a live action/CG hybrid film.

By “live action/CG hybrid film,” do you mean the Yogi Bear formula? GO ON.

Manimal followed Dr. Jonathan Chase, a wealthy doctor with a mysterious past, who morphed into animals in order to help the police fight crime.

Wait, isn’t this Ali G’s pitch for “Hot Dog Cop?”

The show, which starred Brit Simon MacCorkindale and Melody Anderson (who played Dale Arden in the 1980 movie Flash Gordon), was slaughtered by critics and trounced when it aired in 1983 opposite Dallas, then a ratings juggernaut. It was canceled after just eight episodes.

But Manimal was campy — Chase turned into a black panther in every episode and uttered lines like “I was a real pussycat” — and developed a cult following even as it became a punchline. It aired during a pre-Must See TV time at NBC when the network was experimenting with such high-concept fare as Knight Rider and The A-Team to see what would stick. [THR]

Throwing high-concept fare like Knight Rider and A-Team just to see what would stick, ha, the eighties, what a stupid time, right? Good thing we learned from those mistakes. Anyway, so Manimal is basically a dumb, obscure TV show that only nerds remember, and only remembered when they want to be cute and ironic. Well hey, it worked for Dark Shadows, right? I just hope they make it super earnest, with Johnny Depp starring and Andy Serkis imbuing all the CG animals with his thespianic emoting.

The untold story! ...Of web shooters! Amazing!

This is part one of a series, the best and worst movie of the summer so far. Check back soon for part two.

Look, we all know The Amazing Spider-Man didn’t get made because someone out there was absolutely dying to share with the world the “untold story” of Spider-Man’s origin. I think we were all okay with “dude gets bit by spider, gains superpowers,” without having to revisit it and explore all the footnotes (ooh, but what color hair did his girlfriend have? and what sports did the popular kids at his high school play?). It got made because Sony had to make something or else risk their rights reverting to Marvel. Whatever their motives, clearly it’s the exact opposite of a passion project. That said, the story of the 2012 has been one of business-decision movies that had no right to be good… actually turning out… kind of good (21 Jump Street was great, American Wedding Reunion had its moments, and even Men in Black 3 wasn’t the worst thing ever). In 2012, cautious optimism for yet another Spider-Man movie wasn’t a ridiculous notion. Sadly, The Amazing Spider-Man is the exception that proves the rule, a perfect example of a movie that sounds like a terrible idea actually turning out terrible. It feels like a bunch of talented people trying really hard to give a sh*t about a story no one could really be expected to give a sh*t about. Turns out, no, there is no ghost in the machine. It seemed like a waste of time because it is one.

"Hey... Can I borrow a scarf and cardigan?"

Okay, so Peter Parker is in high school, right? And he’s not popular, apparently because he wears lots of layers of shirts. Why is it wearing twelve different layers of shirts seems to be movie shorthand for unpopularity? Especially when it’s so clearly meant to inspire affection from the audience. Anyway, Shirty McShirterson shirts around his high school taking pictures of stuff on his old-timey film camera, I guess because he appreciates obsolete technologies. He somehow manages to piss off the head jock, Flash*, who gives Peter one of those movie beatings where multiple, brutal right crosses land flush on the face and it only leaves cute little scrapes around the guy’s eyes and mouth. Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone, looking wicked hot in miniskirts and knee-high socks) comes to his aid because giraffe-necked-dudes make her panties moist, and there isn’t too much conflict there, because between Peter standing up to the bully everyone hates in front of everyone, and the super-hot chick totally wanting to do him, it seems like he has things pretty well figured. I’m supposed to pity this guy? I want to cross swords with him in that body swap fountain from The Change-Up.

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