(The premiere was truly a tard-studded affair.)
Did you really believe Sony all those times they promised This is It would only run in theaters for two-weeks? Aw, that’s cute. You probably believed the doorman outside the nearly-empty club when he said he was making you wait outside because of “fire codes.” And if his place looks a little more popular because of you that’s just a coincidence, right? Look, just don’t buy coke off the bathroom attendant, okay? Trust me. I’ll tell you about all these scams and more if you’ll just step inside my windowless van.
Now the film will play through Thanksgiving weekend in the United States. Canada and most international territories will be announcing extensions of various lengths soon. In a press statement, Jeff Blake, the chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment Worldwide Marketing & Distribution, explained: “In just 5 days, Michael Jackson’s THIS IS IT has become the highest grossing concert film of all time and we are elated by the response to this special film by fans, critics and moviegoers from all over the world. With this kind of global response, it’s clear that the motion picture deserves an extended run and we are going to do everything we can to make the film available to everyone who wants to see Michael Jackson’s THIS IS IT on the big screen.” [DHD]
“Because of the overwhelmingly sub-par opening of the film we tried to artificially stimulate advanced ticket sales for, we’re breaking all our promises in the hopes of making more money off a dead guy. No one expects us to tell the truth anyway. It’s because we have no integrity, you see.”
The word around the campfire today is that Sony is developing a Venom movie as a Spider-Man 3 spinoff. Venom, who was played by Topher Grace and was such an interesting part of Spider-Man 3 that I didn’t even remember it, actually died in the movie. But that hardly matters. As Rob Lowe’s character says in Thank You for Smoking, “So what? That’s one line of dialog. ‘Thank god we invented the… you know, whatever device.’”
Gary Ross [Pleasantville, Seabiscuit] is writing “Venom” as a potential directing vehicle. Ross is already writing “Spider-Man 4” for the studio. In the comics, Venom is a gooey alien parasite that bonds with Peter Parker and later his newsroom rival, among other people, becoming one of more popular villains in “Spider-Man’s” rogue gallery. Topher Grace portrayed the character in the 2007 movie, which ended with both the human and the alien symbiote apparently destroyed in an explosion. [Variety]
So… am I supposed to be more or less excited about this than about Spider-Man 4? Because I gotta tell you, I’m feelin pretty shrugswardly about both of them. And I should be the target audience. I’m not even the kind of guy who (*air quotes*) had sex with (*air quotes*) girls in (*air quotes*) high school.
Vince reported last month that Sony paid $50 million for 80 hours of Michael Jackson’s rehearsal footage. According to Rolling Stone:
The Michael Jackson estate and Sony Pictures Entertainment announced today that This Is It, a film comprised of rehearsal and behind-the-scenes footage of Jackson preparing for his 50-concert run at London’s O2 Arena, will be released in movie theaters on October 30th.
[...] the deal with Sony was contingent on multiple factors. First, the film is required to be no longer than 150 minutes and must secure a PG rating. [Ed. - I wouldn't go to a 150-minute PG movie if they were giving out free blow jobs and oxycontin.] Also, the film can in no way show Jackson in a negative light [Ed. - *dismissive wank motion / dick helicoptor combo move*], and a final cut must be presented to the Jackson estate by October 2nd.
Back in 2004, Marlon, Shawn, and Keenan Ivory Wayans made cinematic abortion White Chicks on a budget of $37 million ($30 million of which was spent on fart noise and record scratch sounders, I would assume). The movie grossed $113 million worldwide (seriously, Earth?). The Hollywood Reporter, uh, reports:
The Wayans Brothers and Sony are developing a sequel to the 2004 comedy “White Chicks,” which will see Marlon and Shawn Wayans reprise their roles as sibling FBI agents posing as a pair of white ladies.
Keenen Ivory Wayans is on board to direct the sequel, which all three Wayans are writing. The logline for the new entry is being kept under wraps.
Yeah, better to keep that log line under wraps. You wouldn’t want to blow anyone’s mind with the wit and grace of what is surely to be the most original, deep, crap-your-pancreas-in-awe plot of all time. Here’s a log line for you: “Guestblogger drops a duece on Hollywood actor’s front porch. Duece becomes sentient and writes a script funnier than White Chicks.”
~ robopanda
(Jacko as I’ll always remember him: singing along to R.Kelly in the backseat of Brett Ratner’s car)
Sony is paying $50 million dollars for 80 hours of Michael Jackson’s rehearsal footage, filmed while he prepared for his concert series in London.
The film will feature at least three videos, including an alternative version of Jackson’s “Thriller,” which were shot to be interstitial programming during the London concerts. The footage was meant to play in 3-D, but it’s unclear as yet whether the feature film will present it that way.
“High School Musical” director Kenny Ortega, who shot the rehearsal footage, is expected to direct the feature, and sources said he’s already beginning to put together the footage so Sony can release the film before year’s end.
Several studios were impressed when shown the footage by AEG last week. Fox, Universal, Paramount and Relativity likely would have met AEG’s asking price but knew that Sony Pictures had clear first position because sibling company Sony Music Entertainment owns music publishing rights to Jackson’s songs. [variety]
$50 million? Not even the biggest Michael Jackson fan alive would say the stuff he recorded when he was 50 years old and killing himself with drugs was his best work (clearly, the stuff he made when he was 11 and getting kicked in the nuts by his father was his best work). I imagine this was a decision that seemed like a good idea at the height of Jacko-death fever, but will wind up somewhere between Crystal Pepsi and giving Michael Phelps a book deal on the bad idea scale.
