Tyler Perry as Alex Cross as Denzel Washington in Flight. I told you he was so undercover.

I can’t sugarcoat it: this is a terrible week for new DVDs.  Besides Alex Cross and Flight (which, to be fair, many people liked), there’s new films starring Kevin James, Andy Samberg, Christopher Walken, Olivia Wilde, Miley Cyrus, Ving Rhames, and Rob Schneider.  There’s movies about musicians, the mafia, and the mechanics of making movies. There’s criminals, florists, and mixed martial artists.  There’s even a movie about talking babies!

The DVDs:
Flight
Alex Cross
Here Comes The Boom
Celeste And Jesse Forever
A Late Quartet
Deadfall
So Undercover
Mafia
You May Not Kiss The Bride
Yelling To The Sky
In Our Nature
Side By Side
Little White Lies
Caught On Tape
Toys In The Attic
The Bouquet
The Dynamiter
The Solomon Bunch
Baby Geniuses And The Mystery Of The Crown Jewels
The Whole Truth

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Want to know which movie is about talking babies?  Continue reading to find out. Intrigued by the The Dynamiter?  Well then, continue reading.  Already recognize titles like So Undercover and want to head straight to the Netflix page?  Click the link above and this week nobody will hold it against you, but if you do you’ll never know about Rob Schneider and the bicycle bell sound effect.

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When Miley Cyrus’s So Undercover was first reported, it was called “I’m, Like, Sooo Undercover,” a script by Allan Loeb, who’s either a brilliant supervillain who uses his understanding of Hollywood execs’ weaknesses to manipulate the system for his own financial gain, or some kind of idiot savant who just happens to have his greasy sausage fingers on the pulse of the studio script-buyer zeitgeist. Loeb traffics exclusively in films that sound like serious parodies, such as Here Comes the Boom, Adam Sandler’s Just Go With It, The Dilemma, and that one where Jason Batemen switches Jennifer Aniston’s semen. He writes three of these a year, and probably spends a bout a half hour on each. Like I said, possibly a genius. There are a few things you should know about his latest before you watch the trailer below.

• Miley Cyrus plays a hard-nosed private investigator. That’s right, MILEY CYRUS. A private dick.

• FBI agent Jeremy Piven needs her to go undercover at a sorority house. Just like Harland Williams and Martin Lawrence in a fat suit before her. It’s the plot of almost every teen movie.

• Is there a scene where a flamboyant gay man cringes at having to turn a no-nonsense Sandra Bullock type into Miss Congeniality? YOU BET YOUR TIRED STEREOTYPES THERE IS!

Wasn’t a bumpkin getting made up to look purdy the entire plot of Hannah Montana? It’s like this chick’s entire career is based on people wanting to give her a haircut.

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Miley Cyrus is set to star in So Undercover [originally titled "I'm Like, Sooo Undercover"], a harrowing tale of an 18-year old girl who looks like she’s 15, playing a private investigator who infiltrates a college sorority in order to solve the case of the experimental friendship. And while I may have made that last part up, it would be the only saving grace of an otherwise unoriginal and annoying idea.

But Miley’s sleuth masterpiece has a cast now, as she’ll be joined by Mike O’Malley of Glee and that one show from CBS with that other forgettable comedian, and Jeremy Piven. O’Malley will play Miley’s father (Miley O’Malley… LO’L!) while Piven will play a guy who desperately needs to sit down with John Cusack and figure out what’s going on before it’s too late.

Move some hair from my butt to the front of my head, Variety…

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