NY Magazine caught up with Bill Hader outside a Paper Heart screening recently, where they asked him about the upcoming Macgruber movie.  He said he’s read the script (by Will Forte, Jorma Taccone, and John Solomon), which tells us there’s actually a script, and that it’s… *gasp* rated R.

It’s like a hard-R comedy, and it totally works. It’s hilarious. It’s kind of in the vein of, like, eighties action movies, like there’s a very definitive bad guy. I don’t know if I can talk about the plot too much, but it’s hilarious. The thing that kind of blew my mind about it is that it’s like a HARD-R movie. I was like, “What is this? This is f*cking ugly. You guys are really going to do this?” And they’re like, “Yup.” And I was like, “That is awesome. That is f*cking hilarious.” [Vulture]

Unfortunately scripts have a way of changing once the people paying the bills get ahold of them.  And putting out an R-rated SNL movie would take some serious balls, a rarity these days everywhere but your mom’s underwear.  As ThePlaylist points out, there hasn’t been an R-rated SNL movie since Blues Brothers, and the conventional wisdom is that they’d lose a big chunk of their network-TV friendly audience by making an R-rated film.  But I hope they do it.  Not because cussing is inherently funnier, but because that would at least give it some separation from the sketches, which kinda suck.  It could be really good if Macgruber was more like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando, cutting peoples’ arms off and feeding deer and carrying tree trunks on his shoulder and swearing.  And then sometimes a naked girl would walk by for some reason.  I guess what I’m saying is that it could be good if it’s nothing like Macgruber.

Trying to fill two hours of movie with a premise that could barely fill 90 seconds of sketch seems like a really bad idea, but that apparently didn’t stop the project from getting fast tracked.  Oh well, I guess it can’t be worse than View-Master. Now Jorma Taccone, the Lonely Islander who co-wrote the sketches, has been hired to direct, and we’ve got a couple tentative cast members and a synopsis.

Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer are in negotiations to star. Will Forte and Kristen Wiig are reprising their roles from the skits.

Forte and Taccone wrote the parodies with John Solomon. The trio wrote the feature script, in which the legendary, much decorated MacGruber is pulled out of retirement as a monk in Ecuador by a colonel, who needs him once more to fight on behalf of his country. This time the mission involves going up against the evil Cunth, who has a nuclear warhead; the mission is personal because Cunth killed MacGruber’s bride. Phillippe would play Piper, an Army officer forced to pair up with a reluctant MacGruber. Kilmer would be Cunth.

“MacGruber” movie is fast-tracked and at this stage looks like it could make it to the screen before a “MacGyver” movie, which is in development at New Line. [THR]

Well I wasn’t so hot on this before but now that I know there’s a bad guy whose name is almost “cunt” I’m sold.  On being asked if he’d play the part of Cunth, Kilmer said, “Lunch?”

AGENT: “No, Cunth.”

KILMER: “Lunch?”

*agent slides sandwich across table*

KILMER: “That’s what I thought.”

As of last week, the possibility of a movie based on ‘MacGruber,’ was just an insanely stupid idea, something that was being “looked at.”  But now it looks as if it’s about to become insanely stupid reality.

Will Forte tells Jimmy Fallon that the film based on the “SNL” sketch has been written [by Forte, John Solomon, and Jorma Taccone (of The Lonely Island)] . “We’re going to make it in Albuquerque,” he says. “It’s me and Kristin Wiig and cast to be determined.” But he was quick to point out: “It’s maybe a little different than what people are thinking.”

And by that I can only hope he means “not incredibly lame”.  They should make it an origin story.  It could be two guys sitting on a couch, and one says, “Hey, dude, remember MacGuyver?”  It would be… rather short.

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This week’s Saturday Night Live featured a surprise appearance on Weekend Update by Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, and Leonard Nimoy – who looks pretty damn good for 78.  The segment wasn’t really funny, but it did include Leonard Nimoy saying “dickhead,” which was nice.  Though I think he may have been referring to Quinto, who apparently tried to fashion his hair into a penis.  He does that with everything.

Grease up your gearshift, sailor, because here comes The Fast and the Bi-Curious all over your face.  It stars two of my favorite comedy Jews, Andy Samberg and Seth Rogen, and it’s pretty much exactly how it sounds.  Making the Fast and Furious characters gay seems like a funny joke. But then, is it a joke?  There’re just some things that you expect to end with someone getting effed in the B.  Fast/Furious movies. WWE.  Kirk Cameron’s marriage.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  B effing, I mean.  Some of my best friends are B effers.
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