I like this version better because it doesn’t have Cam Gigandet in it.

MORNING LINKS

Your feature: The Internet Darwin Awards. |Uproxx|

Our own Matt Ufford holds a boom mic for Marissa Miller.  Weak, dude, shoulda groped her. |WithLeather|

AOL bought HuffPo for $315 million.  I wonder if Uproxx would be worth that much if we paid our bloggers $8 a post. |UproxxNews|

This guy was arrested for fondling himself outside of a school OR for being criminally sexy. |BostonBarstoolSports|

Brent Celek Explains His Strange Condition (Video) |KissinSuzyKolber|

This is a neat ad. |TheDailyWhat|

The Super Bowl of dance offs. |GorillaMask|

All children should be allowed to own their own Harrier jets. |HolyTaco|

James Franco attached to that Oz movie, will probably get a phD about it. |ScreenJunkies|

The 2011 NBA All-Stars: Picks Vs. Snubs. |TheSmokingSection|

Super Bowl 2011: The Ultimate Video Game Football Team. |G4|

All them commercials from the Super Bowl. |Fark|

FilmDrunk on Facebook. FilmDrunk on Twitter. The Frotcast on iTunes. Comments of the week. FilmDrunk Shirts on Sale

Here’s “Great Day”, the Digital Short from Saturday Night.  Same basic plot as Alice in Wonderland, isn’t it?  Why can’t they make the show all digital shorts again?

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• Historian Chodin brings us a brief history of wet t-shirt contests. |Uproxx|
• This high-tech robot teddy bear can read your thoughts. |GammaSquad|
• Teacher decides to beat up a 13-year-old.  Hey, you gotta show ‘em who’s boss. |WithLeather|
• NBA playoff preview, Celtics vs. Magic. |SmokingSection|
• Five things your parents thought would have been invented by now. |HolyTaco|
• Time-lapse video of the Iceland Volcano. |Urlesque|
• Scientist say young men are hazardous to cougars’ health.  That’s why I only date Jr. High chicks.  |Asylum|
• A tribute to Jim Henson. |Gunaxin|
• The six types of coaches. |SportsPickle|
• TV’s greatest science guys. |TVSquad|
• District 10?  District 9 sequel still in the rumored-but-not-written stage. |Pajiba|
• R.I.P., Dio. |ScreenJunkies|
• COMMENTS OF THE WEEK: Will be up at the end of the day.  Sit tight.

I love the way Japanese priests teach the Holy Trinity. Suck it, shamrocks.

(via RobotInDisguise)

I’ve been using the clip of Greasy Sax Man, aka Timmy Capello, honkin’ ‘n thrustin’ in the opening of Lost Boys since 2007.  It’s one of my favorite clips, on account of the fact that Timmy Capello’s hips don’t lie, and neither does his crotch bulge.  He has a very honest crotch.  Anyway, last night, he showed up on SNL in the form of Jon Hamm as “Sergio” in the SNL Digital Short.  Obviously, I’m flattered that SNL would choose to share in the joy of Greasy Sax, (I’m all about sharing, that’s why I stole my site text from an old SNL bit) especially in the Digital Short, which is the best part of the show 99% of the time.  I’d just like to thank them for not putting Kenan Thompson in the sketch, which would’ve been like slapping my face while raping my mother. With a greasy sax.

Read the rest of this entry »

• This summer… Jason Statham… has diabetes.  Now, if Jason Statham has diabetes, shouldn’t he get his medication from a cat who looks like Wilford Brimley?  Makes perfect sense to me. [CollegeHumor]
• Jackie Earle Haley will play Freddy Krueger in the remake. Good for him.  Still don’t care about horror remakes. [ScreenJunkies]
• How to look amazing and attract girls. [HolyTaco]
• 5 more of the most disturbing animals on Earth. [Atom]
• Apparently ShoWest has awards. Zac Efron won one. So did Sienna Miller, Dennis Quaid, Tits Whatserface from The Hills, and Rumer Willis.  They should call these the People Who Showed Up Awards.  [DailyFill]
• That’s right, DUELING EASTER BUNNY movies.  If only it were just one movie in which bunnies dueled.  [THR]
• Interview with a professional food-eater guy. [BullzEye]
• “Like a Boss” is my favorite digital short in a while.  [WarmingGlow]

Thanks to RoboPanda for the picture

Friday Free for All is that time of the week when I have an excuse to post a funny video out of laziness. Send your tips to lance@filmdrunk.com.

Friday Free for All is Saturday Free for All this week due to the holiday. Anyway, this one’s an oldie but goodie. Andy Samberg and friends used to make videos on a site called thelonelyisland before they got hired by SNL, and most of their videos are pretty much exactly like SNL Digital Shorts. This one’s called “Just 2 Guyz” and is a personal favorite of mine. I totally agree with the premise. Who needs other people when you’ve got spinach dip?

In other news, my digital shorts are crotchless.