I always tell people about this old sketch, but I could never find it anywhere online. Lucy Lawless plays Stevie Nicks after she’s given up to her singing career to “focus on providing you an affordable dining experience,” at her Southwestern restaurant in Sedona, Arizona. One of my favorites.

MORNING LINKS
FREE COMEDY SHOW IN LA this Friday, with me, Joe King, TJ Miller, and some other awesome dudes and ladies. Come on out and support. |ComradesofComedy @ Bar Lubitsch|

EXCLUSIVE: ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 1 Death Montage |Warming Glow|

Vladimir Putin is the best. Why can’t you frolic with dolphins, Obama?!

StuntBusters: Like MythBusters, But With More Exploding Death |With Leather|

R.I.P. The Fake ‘Jack & Jill’ Twitter Account |UPROXX|

Rocawear Pulls Occupy Wall Street-Themed Shirts |Smoking Section|

Frank Miller is a delusional, curmudgeonly old A-hole |Film Drunk|

Wampug! |Gamma Squad|

Bully gets beat up by fellow inmate until the cards taze him. Lazy guards. |GorillaMask|

A Very Young Stephen Colbert In FirsTier Bank Commercial |Buzzfeed|

The Men Who Camped Out for Twilight: A photo essay |FARK|

Sandusky’s lawyer says McQueary is lying. Hasn’t he suffered enough by being named McQueary? |TheSuperficial|

10 ridiculous reasons to call 911. |MentalFloss|

CATVERTISING! |DAPSWebsite|

There’s a new Marcel the Shell with shoes on video. |Videogum|

Community is not dead yet. |ScreenJunkies|

This guy probably has an awesome online dating profile. |HolyTaco|

10 Movie Characters Who Should Have Died When They Had The Chance |Pajiba|

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When the trailer for Tony Scott’s Unstoppable (aka Train Day) hit a few weeks ago, it was hard for us here at FilmDrunk HQ to see it as anything but fertile ground for ridicule (to be fair, we said the same thing about a baby funeral).  While we rolled out our mash up parody a few weeks back, Saturday Night Live dropped theirs last night.  You can see theirs above, ours below.  Here’s my brief-but-totally-impartial analysis.

Theirs had:

• Jay Pharoah’s solid Denzell Washington impression
• Scarlett Johansson
• “The Chrysler Building”

Ours had:

• Brevity
• A theme
• Jesus

Giving them the benefit of the doubt (on account of their actually-pretty-funny Millionaire Matchmaker parody), we’ll call it a draw. That said, Seth Meyers still isn’t fit to hold my jock strap while I’m banging his mom.

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I’ve been using the clip of Greasy Sax Man, aka Timmy Capello, honkin’ ‘n thrustin’ in the opening of Lost Boys since 2007.  It’s one of my favorite clips, on account of the fact that Timmy Capello’s hips don’t lie, and neither does his crotch bulge.  He has a very honest crotch.  Anyway, last night, he showed up on SNL in the form of Jon Hamm as “Sergio” in the SNL Digital Short.  Obviously, I’m flattered that SNL would choose to share in the joy of Greasy Sax, (I’m all about sharing, that’s why I stole my site text from an old SNL bit) especially in the Digital Short, which is the best part of the show 99% of the time.  I’d just like to thank them for not putting Kenan Thompson in the sketch, which would’ve been like slapping my face while raping my mother. With a greasy sax.

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(“And one more chili dog for the road, please.”)

I’ll be honest, I thought making a movie out of the MacGruber sketches was a colossally stupid idea at first.  But let one of the Lonely Island guys direct, throw in fat Val Kilmer as a villain named “Dieter von Cunth”, and make it a hard-R rating, suddenly I’m cautiously optimistic.  I also love Kristen Wiig whenever she’s not playing Gilly or the Target lady.  I guess what I’m saying is that the MacGruber movie is like an adorable puppy with a bow on it.  I’m ready to let it into my heart, but if it can’t be potty trained, I’m selling it to the Vietnamese restaurant.  …What?  What’d  I say?  Was it the puppy thing?

I’ll post an embed as soon as it’s up, but for now you have to watch the trailer here. Update: Including the Trailer Addict version after the jump.

Cautious optimism is kind of like walking around your apartment with a boner.  You’re hoping you’ll get to use it, but until then, any sudden movement will make you flinch like a mother.

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SNL was pretty much what we’ve come to expect this week: a couple funny bits involving Andy Samberg and Jason Sudeikis floating in a sea of unfunny crap like Kenan Thompson’s Grady Wilson sketch that makes you wonder why the person who thought this should be a recurring character hasn’t been taken out behind a barn and shot (and if no barns exist near 30 Rock, I could build one for the purpose).  Anyway, here’s the digital short, James Cameron’s Lasercats 5, with cameo by James Cameron.  I think it’s the attention to detail that makes it, with all the James Cameron references and Papyrus font.  If I had one criticism, it’s that I wish there were more real cats (but I say that about everything, even my grandma’s funeral).  Oh, and at the end, where Lorne Michaels throws them out of his office, someone could say, “You didn’t like it, Lorne?  Hey, aren’t you the guy who hired Kenan Thompson?”  And then kill him with the laser cat.

[Oh, and here's a Golden Globes drinking game for tonight, though if you're even considering watching the Golden Globes, you're probably drunk off your ass already]