I give a slight edge to Patton Oswalt’s tweet on the same topic (below), but this SNL sketch starring Christoph Waltz as ‘Djesus Uncrossed’ as a play on Tarantino’s revenge boner is undoubtedly solid. (Incidentally, almost all of my boners involve revenge).

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (2009) –World War II

DJANGO UNCHAINED (2012) — slavery

UNCORSETTED BITCHES (2015) –Woman’s suffrage

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 28, 2012

Having Christoph Waltz on this week almost makes up for letting Justin Bieber host last week, which I’m told led indirectly to the Pope’s retirement, after he watched it and decided that there is no God. To be fair, I did notice that the Christoph Waltz show seemed much less “swaggy.”

Those turkeys look like Skeksis. [via Holy Taco]

MORNING LINKS
“Yippee Ki-Yay Mother Russia.” Yes, That’s The Real Die Hard Tagline. |FilmDrunk|

Frotcast 123: David Gborie, Movie Marketing, Juggalo Vision Quests |Frotcast|

Sums up SF public transportation pretty well.
[via Humor Train]

What’s Going On With The Cast Of ‘Scrubs’ These Days? |Warming Glow|

Chineses Man Claims He Can Perform Hadokens
|With Leather|

The Official UK Trailer For ‘Assassin’s Creed 3′ Kicks A Redcoat Right In
The Balls |Gamma Squad|

Are We To Blame For This Video Of Lil Reese Beating Up A Young
Woman? |Smoking Section|

More NFL Ideas Taken From 11-Year-Olds |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Watch Charles Barkley Say ‘Penis’ Many Times Without Actually Saying
‘Penis’ In New Weight Watchers Ad |UPROXX|

I will ride my trusty unicorn to the land where the redheads roam |theChive|

Unfortunate Subway Poster Placement Of The Week |BuzzFeed|

Halloweentime Gallery: MMA’s Weirdest Walkout Costumes |Cage Potato|

Did a Cow Really Cause the Great Chicago Fire? |Mental Floss|

Homeless Man Made $40 To Appear In Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel
Wedding Video |The Superficial|

Vote with Your Gum. |The Daily What|

Taylor Swift Is Single Again |IDLYITW|

I always tell people about this old sketch, but I could never find it anywhere online. Lucy Lawless plays Stevie Nicks after she’s given up to her singing career to “focus on providing you an affordable dining experience,” at her Southwestern restaurant in Sedona, Arizona. One of my favorites.

MORNING LINKS
FREE COMEDY SHOW IN LA this Friday, with me, Joe King,

EXCLUSIVE: ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 1 Death Montage |Warming Glow|

Vladimir Putin is the best. Why can’t you frolic with dolphins, Obama?!

StuntBusters: Like MythBusters, But With More Exploding Death |With Leather|

R.I.P. The Fake ‘Jack & Jill’ Twitter Account |UPROXX|

Rocawear Pulls Occupy Wall Street-Themed Shirts |Smoking Section|

Frank Miller is a delusional, curmudgeonly old A-hole |Film Drunk|

Wampug! |Gamma Squad|

Bully gets beat up by fellow inmate until the cards taze him. Lazy guards. |GorillaMask|

A Very Young Stephen Colbert In FirsTier Bank Commercial |Buzzfeed|

The Men Who Camped Out for Twilight: A photo essay |FARK|

Sandusky’s lawyer says McQueary is lying. Hasn’t he suffered enough by being named McQueary? |TheSuperficial|

10 ridiculous reasons to call 911. |MentalFloss|

CATVERTISING! |DAPSWebsite|

There’s a new Marcel the Shell with shoes on video. |Videogum|

Community is not dead yet. |ScreenJunkies|

This guy probably has an awesome online dating profile. |HolyTaco|

10 Movie Characters Who Should Have Died When They Had The Chance |Pajiba|

Comments of the Week Nomination Thread. Like us on Facebook. Subscribe to the Frotcast (even if you don’t listen! just do it!)

When the trailer for Tony Scott’s Unstoppable (aka Train Day) hit a few weeks ago, it was hard for us here at FilmDrunk HQ to see it as anything but fertile ground for ridicule (to be fair, we said the same thing about a baby funeral).  While we rolled out our mash up parody a few weeks back, Saturday Night Live dropped theirs last night.  You can see theirs above, ours below.  Here’s my brief-but-totally-impartial analysis.

Theirs had:

• Jay Pharoah’s solid Denzell Washington impression
• Scarlett Johansson
• “The Chrysler Building”

Ours had:

• Brevity
• A theme
• Jesus

Giving them the benefit of the doubt (on account of their actually-pretty-funny Millionaire Matchmaker parody), we’ll call it a draw. That said, Seth Meyers still isn’t fit to hold my jock strap while I’m banging his mom.

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I’ve been using the clip of Greasy Sax Man, aka Timmy Capello, honkin’ ‘n thrustin’ in the opening of Lost Boys since 2007.  It’s one of my favorite clips, on account of the fact that Timmy Capello’s hips don’t lie, and neither does his crotch bulge.  He has a very honest crotch.  Anyway, last night, he showed up on SNL in the form of Jon Hamm as “Sergio” in the SNL Digital Short.  Obviously, I’m flattered that SNL would choose to share in the joy of Greasy Sax, (I’m all about sharing, that’s why I stole my site text from an old SNL bit) especially in the Digital Short, which is the best part of the show 99% of the time.  I’d just like to thank them for not putting Kenan Thompson in the sketch, which would’ve been like slapping my face while raping my mother. With a greasy sax.

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