Probably Milwaukee.
Opening Everywhere: Snitch, Dark Skies
Opening Nowhere: Stand Off
FilmDrunk Suggests: Organize a neighborhood game of Kick the Can and let me know where it is, because I’ll come play. Or you can go see what one critic called “Dwayne Johnson’s best role yet” in Snitch and then look at his IMDB page and just mumble, “Well yeah.”
Oh, Shutterstock.
Even if you’re a sport-hating commie, you could probably still tell the Super Bowl happened last night, if only by all the hungover people and clogged toilets. Speaking for myself, I can tell you that if your team starts losing, definitely don’t start chugging Jameson just because someone says so. Lesson learned. Let’s just say it wasn’t only the Superdome that experienced a blackout last night. Anyway, if you’re like me and you can’t remember or you skipped the game to do something “productive,” we’ve still got you covered with all the movie spots right here. I’m just glad GoDaddy isn’t a movie, because my stomach couldn’t handle that again. GoDaddy may have surpassed Geico and Zoosk.com in awful obnoxious ad department. Can you imagine getting stuck talking to a guy who came up with those Geico or GoDaddy ads at a party? If you didn’t at least sock him in the belly you would be a failure to society.
Read on for Iron Man 3, Snitch, Oz the Great and Powerful, 6 Fast 6 Furious, The Lone Ranger, Star Trek Into Darkness. and some random Old Milwaukee commercial where Will Ferrell makes out with an Asian lady.
With the Disney channel having turned an entire generation of American actors into hair farmer milk babies, there’s a been major hole for tough guys who can play the Arnold Schwarzenegger/Bruce Willis/Steve McQueen-type roles, and Jason Statham can only fill it so many times. The Rock, who was a pro wrestler, but actually seems charismatic and likable, has long seemed like a logical candidate, but so far, his filmography thus far has been more Hulk Hogan than Arnold (hastag subtle burn). Snitch opens February, and at the very least it seems somewhat aimed at adults. It co-stars Michael K. Williams (OMAR!), Susan Sarandon, and Barry Pepper (who really doesn’t get enough work), and The Rock plays a truck driver who infiltrates a drug cartel for the police in exchange for keeping his son out of prison. In the end, I’m sure we’ll all learn an important lesson about how when you mess with drugs, you’re gambling with your future, just like in that afternoon special where Ben Affleck ruins his life because of steroids.
