HURRRR

Directed by She’s the Man and The Game Plan‘s Andy Fickman, You Again stars Kristen Bell and Jamie Lee Curtis as a mother and daughter who must face the secret they’ve both been hiding: before growing into the looks that made them the eye candy on countless TV shows, horror movies, and commercials for yogurt that helps you poop, they were ugly in high school.  And I mean straight-up glasses-and-acne-and-unflattering-shirts ugly.  Disgusting.  Sigourney Weaver and Odette Yustman play the pretty girls who were mean to them, because pretty girls are always mean to ugly ones, it’s science. You may remember Odette Yustman, whose butt starred in The Unborn.

Yadda yadda yadda, cheerleaders, hijinks ensue, Betty White says sexual things which is hilarious because because she’s old, and Kristin Chenoweth even shows up.  In fact, Kristin Chenoweth is my favorite part.  Before they show her name at the end, she’s in the trailer for less than a second, doing this:

Her finest role

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Sigourney Weaver's avatar is 12-feet-tall

Don’t get me wrong, whenever I watch Life, I miss Sigourney Weaver’s Planet Earth voice over tremendously.  Oprah is a poor substitute.  Her pandering fauxlksyness (remember I invented that word) somehow comes through even when she’s reading sober lines about cuttlefish sex.   Nonetheless, when it comes to discussing the Oscars, Sigourney Weaver should probably just shut her whore mouth.

While promoting ‘Avatar’ in Brazil over the weekend, Sigourney Weaver slammed the Academy for voting for ‘The Hurt Locker’ and Kathryn Bigelow. She said Jim Cameron lost to his ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow, because she’s a woman.

“Jim didn’t have breasts, and I think that was the reason,” she told told Folha Online, a Brazilian news site. “He should have taken home that Oscar.”

“In the past, ‘Avatar’ would have won because they [Oscar voters] loved to hand out awards to big productions, like ‘Ben-Hur.’ Today it’s fashionable to give the Oscar to a small movie that nobody saw,” Weaver said. [HuffPo]

He doesn’t have breasts? That must’ve been why he tried to compensate by growing lady hair. Look, Sigourney, I’m going to be nice because I get the feeling you didn’t see the Hurt Locker, so you probably don’t know how much better it is, and because you seem like you could kick my ass.  Yes, it used to be fashionable to hand out Best Picture awards to lavish productions, even if they weren’t that good from a storytelling standpoint.  But because it used to be in fashion and now it’s not, does that make it a better way of doing things?  I say no.  Think about it — this used to be a fashion too:

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SNL was pretty much what we’ve come to expect this week: a couple funny bits involving Andy Samberg and Jason Sudeikis floating in a sea of unfunny crap like Kenan Thompson’s Grady Wilson sketch that makes you wonder why the person who thought this should be a recurring character hasn’t been taken out behind a barn and shot (and if no barns exist near 30 Rock, I could build one for the purpose).  Anyway, here’s the digital short, James Cameron’s Lasercats 5, with cameo by James Cameron.  I think it’s the attention to detail that makes it, with all the James Cameron references and Papyrus font.  If I had one criticism, it’s that I wish there were more real cats (but I say that about everything, even my grandma’s funeral).  Oh, and at the end, where Lorne Michaels throws them out of his office, someone could say, “You didn’t like it, Lorne?  Hey, aren’t you the guy who hired Kenan Thompson?”  And then kill him with the laser cat.

[Oh, and here's a Golden Globes drinking game for tonight, though if you're even considering watching the Golden Globes, you're probably drunk off your ass already]

MTV’s awkward interview guy had a chance to accost Ivan Reitman at an event recently, where Reitman confirmed rumblings that he’d be directing Ghostbusters 3.  Another rumor had Bill Murray coming back as a ghost, which Reitman declined to address.  From MTV:

Reitman said that the script from “Year One” writers Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky is in and that a second draft is currently in the works. “We are working our way through another draft… good work is being done and all of us have our fingers crossed.”
Asked about Weaver’s recent comments [about the Bill Murray ghost], Reitman laughed and kept things light.
“There’s some very cool things in the new draft, let’s just put it that way,” he told us.

I like Bill Murray as much as the next guy, but Ghostbusters seems like the epitome of a movie that could only work in the 80s — Yeah, yeah, and then there’s like this ghost. But not like, like a human ghost, but like this big ball of slime that gets snot on everything… *snorts another line* — so I’m not sure why they’d choose to make a sequel now.  Reitman of course directed the first two Ghostbusterses back in the 80s, but is perhaps best known for the 1997 classic, Father’s Day.  Haha, a tie for a mustache, good one, Robin!

Sigourney Weaver’s character in Avatar smokes.  Not surprisingly, Avatar director James Cameron has drawn criticism from the fascist pussies who complain every time a movie character smokes.

“This is like someone just put a bunch of plutonium in the water supply,” said Stanton A. Glantz, director of the Center for Tobacco Control Research and Education at UC San Francisco.

Yes, it’s exactly like that.  *sigh*  I wish hyperbole caused cancer.  Anyway, this isn’t the interesting part, the interesting part is James Cameron’s response:

Mr. Cameron said he had never intended Ms. Weaver’s character, Grace Augustine, to be “an aspirational role model” for teenagers.  “She’s rude, she swears, she drinks, she smokes,” wrote Mr. Cameron. “Also, from a character perspective, we were showing that Grace doesn’t care about her human body, only her avatar body, which again is a negative comment about people in our real world living too much in their avatars, meaning online and in video games.” [NY Times]

…he wrote while putting the finishing touches on 300 million dollars worth of motion capture and computer graphics.  -This email sent from James Cameron’s limited edition spacephone.