For all those people who doubted me when I said Sienna Miller’s sunglasses were photoshopped on in the international G.I. Joe Poster, here’s the new poster as evidence.  Amazing how they were able to change the glasses and still get her to stand in that same exact position, isn’t it?  And don’t act like we all haven’t already seen Sienna Miller’s boobs.  They ain’t that big. (not that I wouldn’t still touch them if she wandered too close)

In related news, Variety debunks the rumor that director Stephen Sommers was fired halfway through shooting.  That doesn’t mean the movie won’t still be really crappy, because it will.  I love how the first defense of any of these turds is, “It wasn’t a bad movie, it was just meant for kids!”  Which sounds great until you look at the poster for the same film and it has Carmen Electra deepthroating a cucumber.

[high-res version available at SuperHeroHype]

A while back, the rumor going around was that Fox had taked control of Hitman away from director Xavier Gens.  Despite denials from Fox, Hitman star Timothy Olyphant made recent statements implying Gens was fired.

When asked whether Gens was there for the re-shoots, Olyphant replied, "He’s involved. I saw him when I was there [doing the reshoots] but he did not direct the reshoots. I heard the talk on that, that he was fired. I kept saying I was trying to get that guy fired for months. They finally fired him? Fuck! I was saying that forever. He doesn’t speak English, didn’t anybody see that?" [Source]

Though sources say Olyphant seemed to be joking about that last part, his hatred of foreigners became clear when he asked an Asian reporter for "sucky sucky" and pushed a Hispanic busboy down a flight of stairs.  Yes, the press conference was at a restaurant, what’s so strange about that?

Anyway, if these rumors are true, it’s a big-time disappointment.  I expect one thing and one thing only out of a video-game movie: auteurship.   

The new poster for Hitman has Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant) sporting a shaved head and a gun he borrowed from T.I.

That’s right, silencers are this fall’s hottest accessory.  I for one am all for them; it makes it easier to kill hookers without waking up grandma.  But it also showcases another recent trend, sideboob. 

I applaud the makers of Hitman for giving us real-life, flesh and blood sideboob, just like mom used to make.  Unlike those A-holes behind Beowulf.  If I wanted pixellated nipples, I’d play Grand Theft Auto or watch Tentacle Porn.