Overall, this weekend’s box office was down 28% from the same weekend last year, and I hope the conclusion film execs draw from this is “hey, maybe we should make better movies.” Consider that the top seven films consisted of: the third sequel to a kid’s movie, another sequel, a rip off of at least five other films from the last five years starring Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl, a movie based on a video game, a sequel to a movie based on a TV show based on a book, a movie based on an unfunny one-frame comic strip, and a sequel to a movie based on a comic book, respectively. Er, disrespectively.
The specifics (full top ten after the jump): Shrek Forever After landed on top for the second weekend in a row with $25.3 million. Get Him to the Greek did decent business at $17.4 million (I saw it, it wasn’t life-changing, but pretty funny), Killers landed just behind that, followed by Prince of Persia and SATC 2, which both suffered big, 50%+ drops from their first weekend. Marmaduke opened all the way down at number six, with just $11.6 million, which is a nice bit of schadenfreude, but not quite justice. I don’t think it’s hyperbole to say that whoever greenlit Marmaduke movie deserves to be homeless. Ahh, but it wouldn’t be Box Office Wrap Up without some asinine, faux-scientific analysis. How say you, BoxOfficeMojo?
Killers, wasn’t a disaster with an estimated $16.1 million on close to 3,300 screens at 2,859 venues, but it was less than the last two comparable movies The Bounty Hunter ($20.7 million) and Date Night ($25.2 million). While Killers was a commercial step backwards for lead actors Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher, it did speak to their bankability, considering that they were pretty much the only things going for the movie. Other than the use of the Talking Heads’ “Psycho Killer,” Killers‘ advertising campaign was a nondescript blur and only conveyed that Kutcher’s character turns out to be a spy, followed by unexplained action. Killers was further hampered by its title: there was a dissonance between what the generic name “Killers” means and the marriage action-comedy presented in which only Kutcher is a killer.
So… it did less business than The Bounty Hunter and that somehow “speaks to the bankability” of Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher? How do you figure? And of al the things wrong with that movie, you’re gonna bring up the f*cking title? Well allow me to present a much more reasoned, thorough analysis. It’s a picture of a walrus blowing itself.