After the jump, you can watch a pretty swell mash up of Black Swan and the Paul Verhoeven nipple-core epic, Showgirls, the dolphin-flopping orgasmest movie of 1995  (Mr. Holland’s Opus being a close second).  Watching it, I was surprised at how well audio from the Black Swan trailer corresponds with the events in Showgirls. #ObviousMashUpCompliments.

[below video NSFW, for brief nudity]

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Most people remember 1995′s Showgirls for its bizarre take on sexuality, like Elizabeth’s Berkeley orgasm scene where she flopped around like an epileptic on a bender.  That scene screwed me up for years, before I realized the female orgasm was a myth.  Then she licked the stripper pole, which is about as sexy as licking the floor of a subway, except worse, because whores don’t rub their vaginas on the floor of a subway.  What few people remember, however, is that it was a massive production and that MGM actually paid $2 million for Joe Eszterhas’ script.

Anyway, now the trailer for the sequel is here (below), and it’s none of those things.  When we heard about it last year, it supposedly had a $25 million budget.  It now  appears they spent $24.99 million of that on coke and hired a high school kid to direct it.  It starts with a naked chick falling out of a hot tub and crawling across the floor like a worm, before getting “bludgeoned” by another chick.  And by bludgeoned I mean lightly tapped on the head because they couldn’t afford stunts or editing equipment.  Enjoy the extended trailer because I wouldn’t expect to see this in theaters or at home, unless you want to send a money order and wait 6-8 weeks, and even then you’ll need a laserdisc player.

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Masturbating to Showgirls when I was younger warped my psyche, because from that point on, I expected the female orgasm to look like Elizabeth Berkley flopping around (NSFW) like an injured sea lion under a waterfall.  But as it turns out, the female orgasm is a myth.

According to German publication/site Extratipp, writer/director Marc Vorlander has been developing a [Showgirls sequel] called SHOWGIRLS: STORY OF HOPE, one centered on the original’s minor character, Hope — played then and now by model/actress Rena Riffel.

The project, says the trade, is so “good” it attracted two Hollywood producers and a $25M budget for production in Frankfurt.  “It’s about stripper who died from a dose of contaminated cocaine. Her brother comes to Frankfurt to find the responsible and revenge.” [JoBlo]

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