I’ve said this a million times before, but if there’s one type of film I wish we could see more of at the local theater, it’s documentary shorts. Narrative features are crappy 80 percent of the time, while documentary shorts waste half your time and are almost never bad. This one, called “The Meaning of Robots,” premieres this Friday at Sundance, and – and I swear to God this isn’t unearned hyperbole – it looks amazing. AMAZING, I TELL YOU! (*puts cigar out in scotch, rushes off to stop the presses*)

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For most of us, Luther Campbell will always be the guy from 2 Live Crew, known for co-writing such tracks as “Me So Horny,” “Hoochie Mama,” and “Pop That Coochie,” (although he also had a memorable turn in The U, the most memorable of ESPN’s 30 for 30 documentaries). Soon, however, he’ll be taking the indie art scene by storm, starring in a short film directed by a video artist, which was commissioned by the Miami Borscht Group, who previously produced Cocaine Cowboys.

“The Life and Freaky Times of Uncle Luke,” a short film anchored by former 2 Live Crew frontman Luther “Uncle Luke” Campbell, has been selected to screen at the festival as part of the 2012 short film program.
Inspired by the 1962 French science fiction film “La Jetée,” the film is set entirely in front of a series of surreal art installations created by director and multimedia artist Jillian Mayer.

Okay, nice, sounds pretty Sundance-y so far… (Additional trivia: Gilliam’s 12 Monkeys was also based on “La Jetée”, which was composed almost entirely of still photos. It’s great, but also really hard to stay awake through).

In the film, Campbell plays a slightly altered version of himself, and recounts his controversial rise to fame, including his fight for 1st Amendment rights. Campbell takes a freaky turn when a nuclear meltdown in Miami turns the city into a radioactive wasteland filled with mutants — naked ones, of course — leaving Campbell as the sole survivor, tasked with repopulating the city the old fashioned way.

YES. Now that’s the Luther Campbell I know. I hope the waste turns everyone into a big booty ho like an 80s malt liquor commercial. This sounds like a waaay better version of I Am Legend. You can watch the trailer for it below, though be warned it does contain a NSFW split second of bare boob.

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Today is the 48th anniversary of the JFK assassination, and while I think it’s pretty obvious that the mob did it, conspiracy theories still abound (I don’t really consider the mob a “conspiracy theory” per se). With the number of theories increasing every year, acclaimed documentarian Errol Morris took a different approach this short (which you can watch below), choosing instead to focus on the idea that the more you focus on one strange aspect of a story, the more sinister it can become as you get further removed from the event. He uses as an example of this phenomenon the “Umbrella Man,” a man standing along the parade route on November 22nd, 1963 who was photographed from a few different angles holding a big, black umbrella, even though it was clearly a sunny day. WHAT’S WITH THE UMBRELLA, FREAKSHOW? ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO AWESOME TANS?

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Here at FilmDrunk, if there’s one thing we like, it’s high-risk, unprotected sex with total strangers. If there’s two things we like, it’s high-risk, unprotected sex with total strangers and short films starring Patton Oswalt. Hot off his winning turns in such 5-second films as Wizard, You’ve Got Mail, and the seminal, coming-of-age classic, Crabwalkin‘, comes a new series from Puddin’. These are a little longer, and the concept is that it’s a “live-action, single-panel comic, updated Monday through Friday.” So basically, a single-shot video version of a comic strip. Set in the break room of an office, where one guy is always silently eating pudding. It’s like art, but funny.

“Is this some kinda avante-garde, German theater bullsh*t, where a magician goes up and yells at us, and then they dress a lesbian in boy’s clothin in the back of the room, and she sits cackling in the darkness like a half-remembered nightmare through a cracked mirror of regret? Because if that’s what the f*ck this is, I seen it done better, that’s all I’m sayin’, man.” -Patton Oswalt, “The Magician”

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There isn't a single thing about this picture that I'm not completely in love with

A dude named Sean Dunne went to the Gathering of the Juggalos this year and made a 20-minute documentary called “American Juggalo,” which he released online for free (which you can watch below). It had me hooked from the opening shots, when it started off as a sort of slow-motion, Juggalo video essay set to atmospheric music like some kind of meth-lab Koyaanisqatsi. Look, we all know they’re easy to make fun of, but it’s impossible not to be somewhat fascinated by these people (and in some cases, charmed). They’re just so open and earnest that it’s totally compelling. (That said, you will never convince that “juggalo baby casket” isn’t a hilarious phrase.)

Why aren’t there more short-form documentaries like this available in theaters? They’re almost always amazing. Anyway, I’d urge you to watch the entire thing, but in the meantime, I’ve compiled some of my favorite quotes below, and some of my favorite pictures (which are even better than the quotes) on the following pages.

[The dude at the 5:30 mark, who is by far the best part of this whole thing]
“I was drinkin’ Caribou Lou on the carnival rides. Apparently, I f*ckin passed out, and then my f*ckin homeboy shows up outta nowhere and gets me back to the tent. I was a f*ckin’ spectacle, but I don’t give a f*ck, cause that sh*t was righteous.”

“You should never put spray paint on your face.” [Said while a friend spray paints his face while smoking a cigarette]

“Somebody told me there’s nothing good left in the world, and I actually believed that sh*t until I came here and seen all the titties… all the weed…  all the fast food… I mean, this sh*t’s the bomb.”

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