As you can see, an AP story about Indiana Jones star Shia LeBeouf today had the headline “Court calls Shia LeBeouf’s puff bluff”.  I’d always assumed “LeBeouf” rhymed with “Poof”, but luckily I’ve never had occasion to give him a shout out in my rap songs.  Man, how stupid would I have looked!

Oh yeah, the story’s about Shia LeBeouf failing to appear in court – on a misdemeanor charge of “unlawful smoking.” I ‘d like to see a story about him performing cunnilingus on an unshaven Hillary Duff – possible headline: "Rough LeBeouf fluffs Duff’s muff scruff."

In related news, Gary Busey once killed and ate an entire family of transients.

EW has this new publicity still from Indiana Jones Et Al, along with a magnifying glass function that allows you to enlarge one snippet of the picture at a time (I have no idea why the hell why you’d want to do that).

Look, I don’t want to bash Harrison Ford for being old, because he’s actually pretty badass for a 65-year-old. But this movie looks retarded.  Anyone who thinks this is going to be any different than Star Wars Episodes I-III is just kidding themselves.  This looks like the pod race scene, but with leather and bullwhips.

Shia: Yeah, get him, Indy!  He never said the safe word – tan his ass good!  I’ll choke his buddy till he comes – someone get the lube!

This is the newest poster for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. UPDATE – Apparently it’s a comic book cover, not a poster.

I’m not sure why Shia LePoof is holding a sword in it, but he does look like a kid who’d be on the fencing team.  

Mmm, two hot guys in leather jackets with greasy hair – one with stubble and the other with a soul patch that makes the chinstrap guy from the Backstreet Boys look like Grizzly Adams. This looks like a sexy adventure indeed.

Jesus that’s a fruity sword.  There might as well be a scrotum carved out of the hilt and a handle shaped like a tea cup that he holds with his pinky sticking out. 

[Source] 

JustJared (whose website never ceases to remind me of It’s Pat) has some new pictures of Shia LeBeouf on the set of Eagle Eye, from Salton Sea director DJ Caruso.

Eagle Eye centers around a young slacker (LaBeouf) who returns home after the mysterious death of his successful twin brother. Said slacker and a single mother (Michelle Monaghan) find out that they have been framed as terrorists, and they are coerced into becoming members of a cell tasked to assassinate a politician. Son and single mom must find a way to escape the cell and extricate themselves.

It’s cute, him trying to look all grown up with his pea coat, cigarette, gun, and facial hair.  The only "I’m a real adult!" thing missing is a cell phone in a little holster.  A holster for your cell phone says, "I’m important! I’m makin’ deals so fast I don’t have time to reach into my pockets!  Bang bang, I have a mortgage!" 

As just about everyone has pointed out, Vanity Fair has an exhaustive article on all things Indy as Spielberg works on the final cut.

It’s got the pictures you see here, of George Lucas and Spielberg on set, Cate (we get it, you’re acting) Blanchett as Agent Spalko, and Shia LeBeouf and Karen Allen in a warehouse.  Plus interviews with Spielberg and Lucas, who are about as interesting as their last few movies – we know, George, it’s all about the kids!  But can you tell us why you’ve chosen Alf as your personal style icon?  Anyway, check it out, if you’re into that sort of thing. 

That’s when he [Lucas] had a vision of Indiana Smith (as he originally named him). Here was a film hero who might be able to bring back the cheesy excitement of the 1930s-vintage Republic Pictures serials Lucas had seen on TV as a kid. “Saturday matinee serial—that was the initial thought,” he says. With a little more care, better production values, and a dash of irony, this type of thing could be transformed into something of interest for a 1980s audience. 

Yep, still a child.  And no, that’s not a compliment.