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MORNING LINKS
This Week in Posters: Charlize’s Sassy Gay Crow, Kevin Spacey is a Chinese Superhero |Film Drunk|

Nick Offerman Shares His 10 Secrets To Life At Tulane |UPROXX|

Happy 40th Birthday, Dwayne: 40 Great Moments Of The Rock |With Leather|

How 16 Shows Can Increase Their Ratings for May Sweeps |Warming Glow|

Five ‘Battleship’ Clips Pale In Comparison To Battlesheep |Gamma Squad|

Prepare Yourself For Cash Money’s New Movie “Rich Gang” |Smoking Section|

A Blair Witch Style Christian Horror Movie About Porn, Duh |Videogum|

40 Pictures Of The Tannest Woman In The Universe |Buzzfeed|

Ashton Kutcher is still making an ass of himself |TheDailyWhat|

Off The Air: The 11 Things Adult Swim Left Online |Adult Swim|

John Mayer is Still Writing Songs For Jennifer Aniston |TheSuperficial|

Chyna’s plastic surgery went rather well… if you’re into the Patton Oswalt look |Fark|

11 Crappiest Movies of Samuel L. Jackson’s Career |Pajiba|

Want to hear me try to do 5 minutes of clean comedy with no audience? It’s… not my best work. |NewsTalk910|

April’s sexiest twitpics. |Celebslam|

The Bat Symbol’s Evolution |Mentalfloss|

The 15 Best Pictures of Scarlett Johansson |Unreality|

7 Movie Characters Attacked By Lions |ScreenJunkies|

Pabst Replaces Beer Stolen at Knifepoint From College Girl |Brobible|

Surreal/nightmarish video of Paula Deen after the jump

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"NO, NOT THE STUBBLE! IT MAKES ME LOOK RAKISH!"

Starring Shia LaBeouf and Tom Hardy as a couple bootlegging brothers, with supporting turns from Gary Oldman and Guy Pearce, Lawless comes from director John Hillcoat and screenwriter Nick Cave. Cave and Hillcoat last worked together on The Proposition, and their styles tends to be, shall we say, bleak. Lawless is based on Matt Bondurant’s novel The Wettest County in the World, which I actually tried to read last year because it sounded cool, but the prose was awkward and I quit about 40 pages in. That said, an über-violent film about backwoods, thirties bootleggers would have to be amazingly bad for me not to want to see it, so unless Tyler Perry shows up in a fat suit during this trailer I’m already sold.

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This is another piece of movie star-related art that someone else discovered, and the full piece is truly worth your time, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least bring Shia Labeouf’s comic books to your attention. He apparently self-published a series of comic books, and the fellas over at ComicsAlliance were lucky enough to get a hold of a couple.

LaBeouf made a surprise appearance at the C2E2 comics convention in Chicago this past weekend, signing self-published comics that the Chicago Tribune described as being “borderline philosophical” and having “crude, child-like drawings.” I unfortunately missed the signing, but when I discovered that my local shop, Chicago Comics, was selling two of his three books in store, I dashed over to pick them up.

As you can see, the title of one of them is “Let’s Fu*king Party,” which seems as good a title as anything for anything.

The closest LaBeouf comes to having a consistent through-line in Let’s F***ing Party is near the middle, where he tells us what he thinks about poets.

And here there’s a scan of one of Labeouf’s drawings, along with the text

“POETS BORE ME,
THEY ARE SLUTS.
SNAILS.
SNIPPETS OF DUST
IN A CHEAP WIND.”

While *I* probably wouldn’t have chosen to express this particular sentiment in comic book form, if hating poets and loving to party is wrong, I don’t want to be right. I’d go so far as to say that those are my two dominant personality traits.

Comics Alliance goes on to detail Labeouf’s other comic, Cyclical, which seems to be about a badass biker dude with feathers in his hair:

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The number of Shia Labeouf Photoshops continues to grow, and I couldn’t be happier about it. This one was mine, but I’ve got a few of your submissions after the jump.

MORNING LINKS
COME SEE ME DO COMEDY IN LA THIS WEEK! Don’t care about me? Fine! I don’t blame you! Then come for Pauly (Saturday), or Joe King (Thursday, Friday), or Maria F*cking Bamford (Saturday)! She is seriously one of the best alive, no exaggeration. THURSDAY: Pasadena Ice House. FRIDAY: Bar Lubitch. SATURDAY: Hollywood Improv. I promise new material, for those who’ve seen me before. |Events|

‘It was a fake dick’ – The David Wain Interview |Film Drunk|

Meme Watch: The Internet Turns #Kony2012 Into A Cringe Humor Meme In Record Time |UPROXX|

TV GIFs of the Week |Warming Glow|

Suck It, Australia: Florida Broke The Bikini Parade World Record |With Leather|

Move Over Peyton: Colts Cut Dallas Clark, Looking To Trade Dwight Freeney |Smoking Section|

Wiz Khalifa Wins High Times’ “Stoner Of The Year” Award |Smoking Section|

Watch Hulk Hogan Flush His Remaining Dignity Before The Sex Tape Arrives |With Leather|

Top 20 Most Worthless Ads At SXSW |Buzzfeed|

“Spring Breakers” is a movie with both guns and buttcheeks. |TheSuperficial|

EVEN MORE GIFS! |Videogum|

I love Rampage and always will, but he seems to have a serious persecution complex. |CagePotato|

Twenty-six instances where the book was better than the movie |FARK|

Dog-cat loves to fetch. Basically, the best cat ever. |TheDailyWhat|

9 changes the new COO of the Weather Channel needs to make. |ScreenJunkies|

A Gallery of Gorgeous Zelda Watercolors |Unreality|

Dude, did you forget to celebrate penguin cam day?? |DAPS|

Redhead Nina rocks the hand bra. |GorillaMask|

Subscribe to the Frotcast on iTunes. Fan FilmDrunk on Facebook. Follow Vince on Twitter. Nominate for Comments of the Week.

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Thanks to our friends at TheSuperficial, we know that Shia LaBeouf has recently grown a sweet beard, perhaps as a way to intimidate potential attackers might beat him up outside bars while shouting “WHERE’S BUMBLEBEE NOW?!”

Here at FilmDrunk, we love celebrities with creepy beards almost as much as we love easily-Photoshoppable pictures of celebrities. I think you know where this is going. After the jump: THE WORLD’S MOST DANGEROUS PLAYGROUND!

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