I posted the first clip earlier, and now Jason Reitman’s Up in the Air has a trailer.  We see cameos from Zach Galifianakis, Danny “I’m in every movie now” McBride, and Jason Bateman, all of it set to a George Clooney voiceover that seems really deep, but it’s probably just the piano music.

“How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack.  Now, I want you to pack it with all the stuff you have in your life.  You start with the little things: the shelves and drawers and nicknacks. Then you start adding larger stuff: clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV… Your backpack should be getting pretty heavy now.  You go bigger.  Your couch, your car, your home.  I want you to stuff it all into that backpack.  Now, I want you to fill it with people.  Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office.  Then you move into the people that you trust with your most intimate secrets.  Brothers, your sisters, your parents, your children.  And finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend.  You get them into that backpack.  Feel the weight of that bag.  Make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components of your life.  All those negotiations and arguments and secrets and compromises.  The slower we move, the faster we die.  Make no mistake, moving is living.  Some animals were meant to carry each other, to live symbiotically over a lifetime: star-crossed lovers, monogamous swans.  We. Are. Not. Swans.  We’re sharks.”

I bet the hardest part of this for Jason Reitman was figuring out how to pitch such a philosophical concept to a bunch of movie execs.  But then one day he had an epiphany: “GEORGE CLOONEY… has a backpack… full of SHARKS.”

Pictured: The best JanSport ad ever.  [video via /Film]

*Air guitar*

So I was rocking out to Papa Roach at Ozzfest the other day, and in between bidding on ground effects for the CRX my cousin and I share, I was thinking, “Hey, they should make another xXx with Vin Diesel.”  Well it turns out they are, and they’ve hired a director.  I know, bro, I almost spit Monster energy drink on my Jnco pants when I found out.

Ericson Core has signed to helm “XXX: The Return of Xander Cage,” Columbia’s third installment in the action franchise.
Vin Diesel is reprising the role of the extreme sports athlete-turned-government operative he originated in the 2002 movie directed by Rob Cohen. Diesel and Cohen skipped the 2005 sequel, “XXX: State of the Union,” which starred Ice Cube and was helmed by Lee Tamahori.
Core, a cinematographer-turned-director, worked as DP on Diesel’s 2001 flick “The Fast and the Furious.”
John Brancato and Michael Ferris (“Terminator Salvation”) wrote the script for “Xander Cage.” It involves Cage’s return to the National Security Agency after an eight-year absence. Richard Wilkes, who wrote the original movie, did a recent polish. [THR]

Ericson Core, eh?  You can imagine the restraint it took not to rename himself Ericson ‘Core.  ERICSON ‘CORE & VIN DIESEL star in… THE SPACE VIKING WHO SKY-SURFED WITH LESBIANS. OOH WHA-AA AA-AA!!  But anyway, I’m glad they’ve got the original writer back.  This is xXx we’re talking here.  You can’t hire just any Mexican down at the Home Depot to write a movie about a spy in a fur coat who does rail grinds.  I’d also like to see a Nic Cage/Vin Diesel buddy action flick.  Caged Diesel, they could call it.

The headline really speaks for itself here. The clip comes from Lucio Fulci’s Zombi 2, released in 1979, and indeed features a zombie fighting a shark. Did they use a toothless shark for this? What the hell. First they fail to give him lasers, next they stick him in with a zombie, and then they pull out his teeth? Shark actors should demand better. It’s time to unionize.

[via QuietEarth, thanks to Robo for the tip]

WATCH THE SHARKWATER TRAILER

For filmmaker Rob Stewart, exploring sharks began as an underwater adventure. What it turned into was a dangerous journey into the balance of life on earth. Driven by passion fed from a lifelong fascination with sharks, Stewart debunks historical stereotypes of sharks as bloodthirsty, man-eating monsters and reveals the reality of sharks as pillars in the evolution of the seas.

Initial reaction: Ooh, HD footage of sharks – this could be one of them "Let’s get stoned and have our minds blown" movies.  Seconds later: Hmm, documentaries about the survival of mankind totally harsh my mellow.  Towards the end: Is it wrong to hope for a Grizzlyman ending?

Side Note: "Sharkwater" would be an amazing name for an energy drink.