Gary Busey is Adrian Peterson’s lawyer, shaman

Written by Vince Mancini / 08.17.10

As much as I liked Kenny Powers’ K-Swiss ad, I think Vitamin Water just drank their milkshake (can I still use that?) with this ad starring Gary Busey as Fantasy Football lawyer Norman Tugwater.  According to MediaBistro, it was created by a person and/or entity known as “Zambezi.”  I’d delve, but the comments on that site make me want to kill myself.  Gosh, who knew people who cared so much about advertising would be such assh*les?  Anyway, the commercial’s great, Busey makes everything better, and the Tim & Eric-style editing is the icing on the cake.

It’s funny to see Busey doing a commercial, because, as we learned in the last Frotcast, Gary Busey hates commercials, so much so that he makes restaurants mute the TV when they come on (true story). I like to imagine Gary Busey showering when suddenly, this commercial comes on.  You didn’t think he could hear the TV from in there, but next thing you know, Gary Busey runs out of the bathroom naked, carrying his briefcase full of highlighters and pocket change, threatening to eat your spleen like a banana, when suddenly, he realizes the commercial is his.  “HOW’D THEY GET ME IN THE TV?!”  he’d demand to know, and you’d have to feed him a coyote to get him to calm down.  This will make you big again, Gary, like Alice in Wonderland.

Busey-Scream1 Busey-Scream


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ONE REASON SHAQ SHOULD MAKE MOVIES AGAIN

Written by Vince Mancini / 03.24.10

This is the video for Owl City’s fruity song, “Vanilla Twilight.”  The director did a wise thing in interspersing Shaquille O’Neal cameos throughout the entire thing, astutely anticipating that even a few seconds of random, Shaq screen time would be enough to keep me watching through the whole thing even though I had no interest in the song or video.  Am I retarded for laughing at this?  Or is it just brilliant?  Shaq needs to be a movie star again. I know, I know, Kazaam. But I think the mistake was in trying to make Shaq carry entire movies, especially ones about genies and whatnot.  A better use would be to just have him around for reaction shots in Roland Emmerich movies.

*Meteorite destroys Eiffel Tower*

CUT TO:

SHAQ:  Whoa.

Tell me that wouldn’t make the movie at least 50% more entertaining.  …Oh I’m sorry, was this not movie-related enough for you?  Okay, fine.  After the jump, check out Al Pacino in the HBO biopic of Jack Kevorkian, You Don’t Know Jack.  I’m guessing it’s about a guy who helps people kill themselves when they get depressed about computer trivia games.  God that’s an awful title. See, people?  This is why you don’t name your movie after the Variety headline.

Read the rest of this entry »

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DAILY CIRCLE JERK: BILLY MAYS DUB EDITION

Written by Vince Mancini / 07.01.09

R.I.P., Billy Mays, may they clean your casket with Oxi-Clean in order to reuse it (seems like a waste otherwise).  Anyway, the Billy Mays dubs are old, but I love them, and this one’s probably my favorite.

Check out these Daily Circle Jerk links:

Adam Carolla has David Cross on the podcast.  Some interesting stuff in this one. |AdamCarolla|

College Humor’s internet musical, Web Site Story. |CollegeHumor|

A flowchart for determining your favorite summer blockbuster. |HolyTaco|

The 10 best Billy Mays television appearances.  I know he’s dead and all but let’s face it, he was no Vince from Shamwow. |ScreenJunkies|

Company pays a Russian porn star to get their web address tattooed on her breasts. |G4|

The 15 most massively expensive yet awful movies ever. Only 15?  |UnrealityMag|

A collection of personal photos from Shaq.  I honestly can’t see how anyone could dislike this guy. |UnCoached|

Brooklyn Day Care center gets robbed… for their weed. |HailMaryJane|

Top 22 favorite nude scenes in mainstream cinema.  That’s right, 22.  |Gunaxin|

More on the Watchmen Blu-Ray’s “Maximum Movie” mode. |ComicsAlliance|

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DAILY CIRCLE JERK: AUSSIE POLITICIAN EDITION

Written by Vince Mancini / 05.22.09

  • “Disturbing boobs and WTF military weapons.” You know, in case you needed another disturbing peek into my subconscious. |Asylum|
  • 10 great war movie quotes. If I’d written this list, all 10 would be from Full Metal Jacket. God I love that movie. |ScreenJunkies|
  • Follow FilmDrunk and Nick Nolte’s Mugshot on Twitter. Come on a-holes, I need to look popular so chicks will dig me. |/Nick_Nolte, /FilmDrunk|
  • An MMA fighter raps and has Spencer Pratt in his posse.  It’s like a Brett Ratner coma fantasy. |InGameNow|
  • Meet Relaxed Hitler.  He’d kill Jews if he weren’t so busy chillin’. |BOH|
  • The top websites for laughing at others.  Hey now, I’d like to think this one is pretty good too. |YepYep|
  • Ron Jeremy bumps into Shaquille O’Neal.  Is it gay to want to see them compare penises?  Proportion wise, it seems like Shaq having a penis less than a foot long would be like me having a foot the size of a thimble. |HoopDoctors|
  • Drunken argument: Back the Future vs. Back to the Future 2. I gotta go the original on this one. |HolyTaco|
  • The Five best Hustler porn parodies on YouTube. Speaks for itself, really. |NextRound|
  • Handjobs for the future.  Huh, sounds like the past to me. |Atom|
  • Trailer for ‘Prototype’.  My friend at G4 calls it “One of the prettiest and goriest gaming cinematics to come through in a while.” I wouldn’t really know.  My penis is my videogame. |G4|
  • The anatomically correct slow jam. Even my slow jams only last a minute or so. |CollegeHumor|
  • Stop the presses, Kate Hudson has brown hair.  Does this mean she can stop being in movies now? |DailyFill|
  • Spider Cat! Because all cats should have a surf-rock soundtrack. |RoboPanda|

[Thanks to Geoff for the video]

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