Here’s Sexman’s review of Observe and Report, which opened last week. He more or less agreed with me.
Opening this week:
Anvil! The Story of Anvil- The heavy-metal, documentary version of The Wrestler opens in five more cities this week, now playing in Toronto, New York, Los Angeles, Irvine, Seattle, Cambridge (Mass.), and Montreal. Their story is kind of like that clip of the old British lady your mom keeps emailing me, but more metal.
17 Again – Zac Efron and Matthew Perry star in a movie you’ve already seen if you’ve ever seen a movie. Check out Zac Efron on the Today Show. Really, Today Show? You’re gonna let Zac Efron talk about this like it’s a serious movie? Jesus. He’s like a robot raised by publicists.
Crank High Voltage – I know it’s a deliberately ridiculous Jason Statham vehicle, but it just gives me a trying-too-hard vibe. I’m all for something that’s actually outrageous, but it seems like every time something gets marketed as outrageous nowadays it just ends up pandering to half-retarded WWE fans.
State of Play- Hey, remember this movie? Stars Ben Affleck, Russell Crowe, Helen Mirren, and Rachel McAdams? Yeah, me neither. Doesn’t seem like they’re promoting it much. Then again, it doesn’t look that interesting.
Also – Adventureland is still out, and worth seeing if you haven’t already.
People keep calling this kid a homo. He keeps posting videos, and you keep calling him a homo – can’t you see he’s getting pissed? Seriously, you guys, this isn’t cool at all. If this kid was a tall tale he’d be ‘Pathos Bill.’ [Buzzfeed]
My email inbox might as well be a Google alert for “Nic Cage.” Seriously, if the dude takes a sh*t I get 10 emails about it. Anyway, Nic Cage, went to Germany and bought a castle. But that’s when he ran into a great big hassle. Billy Joe and Bobby Sue? Whoa oh whoa oh oh, they slipped away. [Videogum]
College Humor presents some of America’s Saddest Home Videos. Spoiler alert: they all star Tom Bergeron. [CollegeHumor]
Star Trek had a surprise screening at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin and a bunch of nerds jizzed their sweatpants. [Alamoblog]
Oh my gosh, you guys, Iron Man 2 is shooting and some people totes took pictures! Cray-cray! [Screenjunkies]
Some of the old between-match wrestler vignettes from the WWF. Somehow, I don’ theen Ray-sore Ramon’s ack-saint ees real, mang. [HolyTaco]
So I read “Channing Tatum Won’t Be Thor”, and I got all sad, and I was all like, “Aw, but he’th tho thexy.” [Filmonic]
In my excitement to get my own Watchmen review up, I neglected to post Sexman’s. But when it comes to Sexman, better late than never. Not surprisingly, he liked it.
“This movie is not for the faint of heart, there is quite a few graphic scenes… Which. I. Loved. They were awesome. And there’s a blue wiener too.”
And please, please, please, make sure you watch until the 2:02 mark for Sexman’s Rorschach impression. The results of Sexman’s Rorschach test, meanwhile, were: Rambo, a fight at school, me getting braces, graffiti… Read the rest of this entry »
FilmDrunk’s official movie society reviewer Sexman is back with an important message for Rihanna, who he says is stupid for taking Chris Brown back. Moreover, he has some general thoughts on domestic violence:
“It’s just an endless cycle. It’s a horrible circle that just keeps going round and round, until someone decides to just make a hole between the circle so it can’t go around anymore. …Not between the circle, but… cut one side or something. You know, it’s a hard analogy to talk about. Whatever.”
Girls are crazy, domestic violence is a cycle, analogies are hard – slow down, Sexman! So young, and already, so few of life’s great truths left to discover. Read the rest of this entry »
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