We haven’t heard from Sexman for a while, but here he reviews Legion, which is apparently about an angel who comes down from Heaven to protect a new savior, double Jesus, from an angry God.  Something like that.  I dunno, but Sexman says even he thinks zombie movies are stupid.  So there.

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• *Sad trombone* Turns out JWWOWWW isn’t Italian and says neither is Snooki.  Whose last name is Polizzi, so I’m not sure how that works.  But I think I speak for all Italian-Americans when I say “Ehhh!” (*points to crotch*) |WarmingGlow|
• This British inventor scaled a 100-foot wall with his Spider-Man suit.  Meanwhile, the inventor of the Snuggie called him a fag when he drove by in his Bentley.  |GammaSquad|
• If you haven’t seen the epic beard guy video from yesterday, you’re like a week behind. |WithLeather|
• Snooki wants to trademark her nickname, then stuff it in her fat, orange face.  |Fark|
• The world’s biggest subwoofer is sadly too big to fit in your car, even if you’re a wigger in a Suburban. |UnrealityMag|
• Wish your iPhone could make you feel like even more of a yuppie?  Get this new Oscars iPhone app. |InsideMovies|
• This video is great if you like stop motion and drawing.  |CollegeHumor|
• Give your girlfriend the perfect gift, a ham necklace. |Atom|
• A feature on fancy, unaffordable rides.  Or as I call them, cars. |G4|
• The 10 worst Oscar Best Pictures of all time.  No Slumdog Millionaire on this list?  Kiss my ass.  |ScreenJunkies|
• 25 animals in glasses.  They may not help them see better, but it makes me want to cuddle them more. |HolyTaco|

Picture via this guy

Sexman reviews The Surrogates – “overall just crappy.”  It’s sad to see Sexman going through puberty, but he’s clearly retained his narrative voice: “You basically design how you want the world to see you.  So some nerdy white guy could design himself to be some tall black guy.  Who is maybe buff or whatever.  So you don’t really know who’s who.  And that’s kind of sh-tty, but anyway…”

Daily Circle Jerk Link:

• The greatest movie never made: Kubrick’s Napoleon.  Luckily, there’s still time to produce my script for Diora Baird’s Shower Party. |Asylum|
• The 10 ugliest uniforms in sports. |BleacherReport|
• The essential guy app roundup. |BachelorGuy|
• Kennedy guy style guide. |TSBMag|
• Rejected Playboy cartoon cover girls. |HolyTaco|
• Seven celebrity Netflix queues.  It’s funny because Kevin James is fat. |ScreenJunkies|
• Miss Plastic Hungary, the beauty pageant for sluts. |FListed|
• White Gorilla has OCD.  Oh boy, this sounds zany! |Atom|
• Louisville will help you get a boner.  Because the chicks there wear mom jeans, apparently. |WarmingGlow|
• This guy has an offensive Xbox gamer tag and peeps be hatin’.  “Jesus is not dead, are you gay?’ |CollegeHumor|

Daily Circle Jerk Links:

Exhausting a Meme: A Gallery of Falcon Punches |Unrealitymag|

Messed-up TV commercials from the 1960′s |ScreenJunkies|

Ferrets: The Pursuit of Excellence |WarmingGlow|

There’s a Twilight sex toy.  It sparkles. Buy one to display on your sanitary pad shelves (safe for work) |Cinematical|

The 5 Worst Sports Excuses. Wait, I don’t see, “She told me she was 19″ anywhere on here. |OpenSports|

The Sony PS3 is getting smaller, cheaper. |SmokingSection|

New Sexman video: “I Don’t Know What the Hell Boba Fett Is.” |Heeb|

John Hughes tribute: a video retrospective of boobs (NSFW) |Buzzfeed|

~ robopanda [picture source]

Phew, I had to post this quick before 20 more people emailed it to me.  Anyway, apparently 50 Cent caught the video of Sexman (FilmDrunk’s official movie reviewer) calling him a media whore from a few months back, and instead of shooting him a bunch of times like he normally would, he flew him out to New York to make this internet video.  It’s… about as awkward as you might imagine.  I’m happy for Sexman getting to meet the famous people he talks about on the Internet.  That never happens to me.  The closest brush with fame I’ve had since I started this site was the time they shot an episode of Law and Order in my aparment.  That’s right, my apartment played PEDOPHILE’S APARTMENT on Law and Order, and I swear to God that’s true and not just me trying to make a cute joke, though now I sort of wish it was.

(Note: I know it’s more subtle than usual, but I was hoping you’d read this headline sexually.)

I realize posting videos is pretty lazy of me, but Zach Galifianakis’ interview with Brad Cooper for The Hangover is both funny and movie related, so suck it.  It’s got a cameo by Carrot Top and this line:

“You’re on the cover of Details Magazine.  Which is a really good magazine… if you’ve run out of cologne.”

There, I pointed out a funny part for you.  Jeez this is hard work.  Oh, and elsewhere in not-really-news videos, Sexman reviewed Terminator Salvation.  He liked it.  He also seems to be growing a mustache.  Isn’t he like 14?  So not fair.  Though he is Canadian, meaning his career options are pretty much limited to lumberjack or moose rancher, so it figures he’d want to get a head start on facial hair.
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