(Why the long face?)

Get it, you guys?  The caption was a reference to Sarah Jessica Parker looking like a horse.  Haha, good one, Jay.  Anyway, this is the first picture of SJP in Sex and the City 2.  Clearly she’s looking off screen, licking her lips at the shirtless, 23-year-old Dominican landscaper who’s going to help her get her groove back, as soon as he finishes trimming her bushes.  Trimming her bush — it’s symbolically suggestive, you see.  And then Samantha comes in and she’s all, “Sweetie, you’ve really gotta do something about that old, dirty clam of yours,” and everyone laughs and starts dilling each other.  Chicks are weird.

[via HitFix.  Yeah, I don't know why I put that gif in there either.  I have a hangover.]

The Sex and the City movie has hired a new dude. Actor Max Ryan, who you probably didn’t see in Death Race or League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, will play a love interest for Samantha. “Max Ryan” sounds like a suave secret agent, there’s no way he was born with that name.  Ten bucks his real name is Clarence Taintberg or something.

The English-born actor is stepping into the role of Rikard, an European architect who crosses paths with Samantha.

Oh my gosh this sounds awesome you guys!  *spreads peanut butter on balls* The guy also has a strangely worded IMDB profile that I suspect he wrote himself, which makes him sound like some kind of dyslexic superhero.

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There was a flood of Sex and the City sequel news going around yesterday after an interview Kim Cattrall did in the U.K.  I’m not sure why it was such big news, since I reported that a sequel was in development a few months ago.  Anyway, now Sarah Jessica Parker is getting in on the action, and by getting in on the action, I mean sounding like a huge buzzkill:

“I’m thrilled to know Kim is excited but all the deals are not yet done. With ‘the wind on our heels,’ we hope to make it a reality,” Parker said in her statement to Access.

Why are there quotes around “Wind on our heels”?  Is that a Bette Midler song or some shit?

Earlier in the day, “SATC” fans were sent into a frenzy when quotes from Cattrall’s interview on the UK’s “The Paul O’Grady Show” were published, indicating Carrie Bradshaw and the gang were locked in for a sequel to the summer blockbuster. “We will do the sequel next summer,” Cattrall said on the show, according to the BBC.
In her interview, Kim noted that it had been “difficult getting everybody who’s so incredibly busy all together at the same time.”
The actress also dismissed rumors of a reported feud on the set amongst the cast. [MSNBC]

That’s funny, because this sounds exactly like what would happen if a couple old, catty bitches were feuding. One wants to do the movie, one wants to hold out for money, and in the middle of it they both do interviews saying it’s all going exactly how they want it to. Man, how sexy would this cat fight have been like 30 years ago?

Alt. Headline: WOMEN BE SHOPPIN! 

Sex and the City made a buttload of money and the actors in it don’t do anything else, so it comes as a big shock that HBO has confirmed that a sequel is in development.  The best part of this is that EW has a comments section.  It’s nice, because so often I see something on the news and think, “Huh.  I wonder what a braindead harpy would think about this.”  And now I know!  Thanks, EW!  It’s like the loveless marriage I was never trapped in!

Amanda Fri, Jul 11, 2008 at 08:49 AM EST
Yay!!! I loved the movie, and can’t wait for the sequel! I agree, Big needs to be a really good husband–they NEED to let him and Carrie be happy! Can’t wait to see what this fantastic team comes up with next!

GeeMoney Fri, Jul 11, 2008 at 08:42 AM EST
I would love to see another SATC film, as long as Big DOESN’T cheat, divorce or disappoint Carrie again. Enough already! Can we please make a movie where he’s a good husband?

Amen, sister!  I mean, why can’t they make a film with no plot or conflict?  It works great on Entourage.  YAY!! Another pool scene!!

[picture source] 

According to the Daily Mail, the cast of friends have been eager to do a Friends movie for some time, and have finally gotten the greenlight.  What was the sticking point?  Why, Jennifer Aniston being a bitch, of course.

While Cox, 44, LeBlanc, 40, Perry, 39, Kudrow, 45 and Schwimmer, 41, were believed to be keen on the reunion, Aniston, 39, is believed to have dragged her heels.
Now, however, she is keen to move ahead with the project, which will be produced by Warner Bros.
The source added: ‘As the biggest star of the Friends franchise, Jennifer can’t help but look at what’s happened with Sarah Jessica Parker and the Sex And The City film and be a little jealous.
‘What’s held back a Friends movie so far is that people were worried that Jennifer had simply become too famous to play Rachel again.
‘But the truth is that Jennifer is finally willing to do it, and she’d love to work with that whole team of actors and producers again.

The only big movie Jennifer Aniston’s done since friends has been The Break-Up, so I’m guessing it was contact with famous peoples’ peoples’ semen that was responsible for the fame disparity.  It’s a well-known fact that Vince Vaughn and Brad Pitt’s semen makes you more famous.  Meanwhile, Courtney Cox had to learn the hard way that David Arquette’s semen makes you slowly fade into obscurity (on the plus side, it’s also a powerful hallucinogen).  But thank God for jealousy, the great equalizer.  If this does well, Matt LeBlanc may not have to do any more monkey movies.

[-Thanks to Eibmoz for the tip]