WHAT’S PATTON OSWALT DOING IN THIS?

02.07.08 Written by Vince Mancini

This is the trailer for Sex and Death 101, written and directed by Daniel Waters, who wrote Heathers, and starring Simon Baker, Winona Ryder, and Natalie from Facts of Life.  It opens February 22nd.

A guy’s life is turned around by an email, which includes the names of everyone he’s had sex with and ever will have sex with. His situation gets worse when he encounters a femme fatale (Ryder) who targets men guilty of sex crime.

I don’t know what the hell to make of it, since it keeps intercutting the main story with shots of Patton Oswalt sitting in a room somewhere.  Is he in this movie?  Does he have something to do with it, or is this all just an elaborate ploy to trick me into seeing it?

The plot keywords in IMDB are "E Mail  / School Bus  / Agent  / Fantasy  / Sex Doll."  Sounds like a sexy weekend.

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WINONA RYDER KIND OF HAS A NIPPLE

11.07.07 Written by Vince Mancini

I ridiculed WWTDD for posting this clip the other day because I was under the impression that you couldn’t actually see any naughty parts*.  So to say Winona Ryder is naked in it is a misnomer – saying an actress gets naked in a scene where you don’t actually get to see anything is like saying a girl on the street is naked because she’s naked under her clothes.

But after seeing this screencap (It’s the file at the bottom; might be NWS) that someone was pathetic kind enough to find, I realize I stand corrected.  You can totally kinda sorta see a dark part that’s probably her nipple.  Good lord, I could probably chop down a tree with this boner I got right now it’s so rock hard.  And then I could carve a monument out of it honoring Winona Ryder’s siren-like sex appeal. Oh, Winona, you’ve shoplifted my heart!

So the clip is from Sex and Death 101, which reunites Ryder with Heathers writer Daniel Waters (Batman Returns, Demolition Man) who also directs.  Ryder stars as a serial killer named Death Nell** who… wait, seriously?  Check please.

*Under the loosest guidelines, this must include at least one of the following, nipplage, labes, muff, or at the bare minimum, partial areola.
**I like how they chose to leave out the K.  "We can’t have a character named ‘Death Knell’, that would be ridiculous! I know, we’ll call her ‘Death Nell’! Yes, that’s much more believable."

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