Silent dog farts are THE WORST.

If you’ve read the headline, you know this week sees the DVD releases of both Hotel Transylvania as well as the latest Paranormal Activity flick, Paranormal Activity 4.  If you recognize the banner image, you also know that Seven Psychopaths hits DVD today as well.  Good for you.  Of course, there’s plenty of other flicks to talk about: there’s films with Bruce Willis and Tim Roth, and films about superheroes both well-known and unknown.  We’ve got films about ghosts and hitmen and terrorists and vampires, and even one about a little girl with the power to heal through touch.  All that and still more ghosts and vampires.  What an exciting week for DVD.

The DVDs:
Seven Psychopaths
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2
Hotel Transylvania
Paranormal Activity 4
The Cold Light Of Day
The Awakening
The Liability
All Superheroes Must Die
Hello I Must Be Going
Noobz
Heaven’s Door
Cherry Tree Lane
Citadel
The Rule Of Law
The Right To Bear Arms
Brides Of Sodom

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Really like Bruce Willis, but don’t know which flick he’s in?  Continue reading to find out.  Can’t figure out which movies involve superheroes?  You know the drill: continue reading and you’ll get your answers. If you really aren’t all that curious about any of these flicks, feel free to click the link above and jump straight to this week’s Netflix suggestions, but really, how could you not be curious about Brides Of Sodom? Read the rest of this entry »

Do you know how hard you have to work to make me dislike a movie about Christopher Walken in a cravat?

Laremy loved Seven Psychopaths and it hurts my soul when he and I disagree, but Laremy, you ignorant slut, consider this my rebuttal.

On paper, this is a movie I should love. The guy from In Bruges directing a group of my favorite actors in a hyperviolent, metatextual riff on screenwriting. In reality, aside from a few clever lines, a brilliant Christopher Walken impression from Christopher Walken, and a very cute dog, Seven Psychopaths felt like watching two grad students pee on each other for 90 minutes. Martin McDonagh wrote and directed it himself so I don’t pretend to know who the second pee-er might be (perhaps a fictional McDonagh alter-ego a la Adaptation?), but what I do know is that this was a clear case of a writer needing a director who was not himself.

First of all, Seven Psychopaths is a subtext movie. It’s not the screwball comedy they’re trying to sell you in the previews – which is fine, because whatever movie they’re trying to sell you in the trailers looks pretty shitty. And I’ve liked quite a few subtext movies – Adaptation, Scott Pilgrim, Kick-Ass – movies where the action on screen is supposed to represent a character’s stylized version of the reality of the movie. In Seven Psychopaths, all the action you see is meant to represent the movie that Colin Farrell’s character – an Irish, alcoholic screenwriter, presumably a stand-in for McDonagh – is trying to write. It’s a movie about a character in the movie writing the movie we’re now watching. Writing about writing, get it? That might strike some as hopelessly fart-huffing, but I love a meta movie if it’s done well.

Read the rest of this entry »

"We're here for the gangbang."

Opening Everywhere: Argo, Sinister, Seven Psycopaths

Opening like the Gates of Hell: Here Comes the Boom

FilmDrunk Suggests: This is a good movie weekend. Three out of four of these films should be great. One of them should be the worst thing ever. Can you guess which one will suck? Take your time, it’s a tough one.

Read the rest of this entry »

Oddly, this dog had just been decapitated in this scene. That's ACTING.

I lurved Seven Psychopaths. Like legit loved, the sort of love they can use on a poster, and hey lookit, they did just that!

If you squint real hard you can make out my name, I AM DRUNK WITH POWER.

Now, normally I eschew all things hyperbolic (except chambers for old people) but in this case I was happy to be used. To be of service, to throw these fellas a hand, to give my mouth up for their advancement, much like most of Vince’s female relatives (not you, Aunt Sue). This is the rare case where I wanna televangelize, like Billy Graham when he gets off on one of his rants about baby Jesus smotin’ people, except mine would be more of recommendation, and that recommendation would be for you to see Seven Psychopaths in theaters this weekend. Take a crazy buddy who just got out of the joint, or a girlfriend who seems “hip,” or a baby puppy who you can’t leave alone for more than an hour because he pees everywhere like a broken water pump.

Still not convinced?

Okay, let’s break this one down, the same as we did for Looper (SEE? I NO STEER YOU WRONG).

*Don’t worry, I won’t be spoiling anything, because it’s my hope folks will see this one fresh, and unspoiled, like Merry and Pippin when the Orcs kidnapped them.

Read the rest of this entry »

Seven Psychopaths with cats = Seven Psychocats. [via World Wide Interweb]

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Gif [via Fck Yeah Dementia]

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Ten Characters We’d Like To See In ‘Injustice: Gods Among Us’ |Gamma Squad|

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Young boy loses prosthetic limb during triathlon, Marines carry him to the finish
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Scarlett Johansson As Janet Leigh In “Hitchcock” |Buzzfeed|

Marie Curie’s Sex Scandal and the Duel It Inspired |Mental Floss|

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Olivia Wilde And Jason Sudeikis Have Sex Like “Kenyan Marathon Runners” |IDLYITW|

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If Your Political Facebook Friends Ran the Presidential Campaigns |College Humor|

Hey, Natalie Portman. Zup? |The Superficial|

We Won’t Suck Out Your Brains: The Five Nicest Aliens (Or Alien Races) In Movies |Unreality|

Judd Apatow & Paul Feig Kill Our Dreams |Screen Junkies|

11 Cinematic Sociopaths Who Could Program the Hell Out of My iPod |Pajiba|

The Petting Zoo: The Week’s Top 10 Animal Videos |Videogum|

What If the Presidential Election is a Tie? |High Definite|

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