The New York Times recently ran a piece on the long road to development for The Green Hornet, and aside from the fact that the writer at one point used the word “bromantic” (f*cking clean it up, NY Times), there were some interesting tidbits.  Like Nic Cage wanting to play the villain with a Jamaican accent, but we’ll get to that.

“The Green Hornet” languished in development until 1997, when the French music video wizard Michel Gondry [who once painted me a tranny with a bottle in its butt -Ed] was hired for what was to be his feature film directorial debut. Though the lead was offered to Mark Wahlberg, Mr. Gondry said his first choice was Vince Vaughn.

Mr. Gondry and the “Robocop” screenwriter Edward Neumeier reimagined the story as a futuristic fantasy. “Our villain ate human hearts,” Mr. Gondry recalled. Their villain met his end after swallowing a pacemaker. “The Green Hornet killed him with a microwave oven,” said Mr. Gondry. “The studio said it had ‘creative differences’ with us, so the film was shelved.”

Then the studio wanted Kung Fu Hustle‘s Steven Chow to direct, but that didn’t work out either:

Mr. Rogen and his frequent writing collaborator Evan Goldberg hopped aboard in 2007, drafting their own script when Columbia picked up the option. Hong Kong’s Chow was recruited to direct, but he too had creative differences.

“Stephen wanted Kato to implant a microchip in Britt’s brain and control him with a joystick,” Mr. Rogen said. “Maybe they’re doing that in China, and I’m not aware of it. I don’t read the newspapers as much as I should.”

Rogen later stretched his face back, adding, “Oh rooky heel, me rikey video game!”

Anyway, I know you came here for crazy Nic Cage stories, so…

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Time for your mom's pelvic exam

Universal just released a new trailer for Paul, Greg Mottola’s homage to ET, Mac & Me, Harry and the Hendersons, etc., starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and a buttload of other comedic types.  It’s not the first trailer, so I don’t think I need to rehash my fervent Greg Mottola fandom for you again, but it is nice to see a trailer where no one gets hit in the nuts. Don’t get me wrong, I’d pay to see a trailer that was just Adam Levine or the Coldplay guy getting hit in the nuts over and over again, but in a movie, especially one I actually want to see, I worry it cheapens things.  And if I was the type of guy who wanted cheap, would I be dotting the I in my signature with a dollar sign?  I think not.

Paul opens March 10th, and I don’t want to get my hopes up TOO high, but 2010 was kind of a crappy one for comedy, and I’m hoping 2011 will be better.  I think I deserve that.

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I wouldn't mind it if Kristen Wiig touched me like that. Just sayin. 'Specially if she was doin her Bjork impression.

It was only yesterday that I was explaining why Paul, starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, from director Greg Mottola, was one of my most anticipated films of the year.  “It looks like an homage to weird 80s movies, Greg Mottola always does an amazing job capturing the spirit of 80s movies, and blah blah blah,” I said.

Now the full-length trailer is out, and I look like an idiot!  The thing’s chock-full of nutshots!  I’m already on record as saying that nutshots in the trailer are the kiss of death!  (For a comedy, anyway. In a Holocaust drama, each shot to the nuts in the trailer increases my desire to see the film by 30%).  Boy, is there egg on my face.  I still want to see this, it looks weird as hell.  But what of the nutshots?   This theory is very important to me.  Perhaps we could label  this old “exception that proves the rule.”  That phrase never made much sense to me before.  I think what happened was, the guy who invented it had come up with a theory, like nutshots in the trailer always making for a bad movie, and then someone publicly disproved it.  So he was all like, “No, see, the exception to the rule makes the rule EVEN MORE true!”  Then I bet he tossed a smoke grenade and dove out the window.  That’s what I would do.

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There’s a whole video of Captain Loud Shirt here explaining satanic murder cults, but I prefer my edit of it.  Man, I could watch this 1,000 times and it’d never get old.  TELL ME ABOUT THE SATANIC MURDER PENISES, GEORGE! |via TheDailyWhat|

MORNING LINKS

Burnsy breaks down the week in Four Loko news. Honestly, this makes me really angry. |UproxxNews|

FilmDrunk shirts are still available in every size.  100% cotton, American Apparel shirts, fly as a motherf*cker. Soft as a baby’s vagina. |FilmDrunkShirts|

These Community gifs Annie’s boob Annie’s boobs.  Annie’s boobs? Annies boobs. |WarmingGlow|

And the Next Two Characters Revealed for “Marvel Vs. Capcom 3″ Are… |GammaSquad|

“I love f*cking sequins” guy gets remix’d. |TheDailyWhat|

Carin Ashley is attractive and blonde and barely clothed. |GorillaMask|

Aw, I wanna hug Vladimir Putin’s dog. |HolyTaco|

PICTURED: I’d totally see this movie. |Source|

Blake Lively has a see-through dress.  It is glorious. |Clutch|

Vladimir Putin’s 15 Most Badass Publicity Stunts. |BroBible|

Cop accidentally broadcasts himself having the sex over police scanner. “Accidentally.” |NYCBarstoolSports|

Stan Lee is Not Amused. |UnrealityMag|

An interview with Dolph Lundgren. |ScreenJunkies|

100 Beautiful Pictures of Emma Watson Throughout The Years. |Buzzfeed|

Ten of the Funniest Bugs Bunny Cartoons |Gunaxin|

FilmDrunk on Facebook. FilmDrunk on Twitter. The Frotcast on iTunes. Comments of the week.

And finally, Talking to Your Kids About Star Wars — A Public Service Announcement: Read the rest of this entry »

Now I realize this is going to sound farfetched, but apparently there’s more than just a few ways to burn through a large amount of money very quickly: purchasing excess amounts of black tar heroin, investing poorly in a sh**ty rapper’s vodka company, cramming all that money up a body cavity -or, if you happen to reside in Hollywood, you can always just grossly overpay the star of your next big (supposed) blockbuster. Yeah, that’s also a great way to get rid of a bunch of cash -but just how much money constitutes a bunch? Well, in an apparent attempt to answer that question (and inspire mass suicides everywhere) Forbes just released their 2010 list of Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors. You know, just to really help put into perspective how truly underpaid you are at your day job. And just to lay any rumors to rest, neither Nic Cage or Billy Zane made the list this year, sorry.

To formulate their list, Forbes first started with the 36 highest-earning actors from Hollywood. To qualify, during the past five years, each actor would have to have starred in, at least, three films that opened in more than 500 theaters. After this initial categorization, they then began to factor in various other details like penis length and bench press ability.

We used data gathered for our annual Celebrity 100 list to calculate each star’s estimated earnings on each film (including up-front pay and any earnings from the movie’s box-office receipts, DVD and TV sales). We then looked at each movie’s estimated budget [...] and box-office, DVD and television earnings to figure out an operating income for each film.

We added up each star’s compensation on his or her last three films and the operating income on those films, an divided total operating income by the star’s total compensation to come up with a return-on-investment number. The final number represents an average of how much a studio earns for every dollar paid.

Forbes fails to mention how many interns bludgeoned themselves to death with graphing calculators, during the research, but I can only assume the final count was north of ten.

Top 10 Overpaid Actors after the cut.

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