The Golden Globes happened last night, and thank God there was a dog in a bow tie there, or else it would’ve been a total loss. To recap briefly, Ricky Gervais was the main reason to watch, and save for a few moderately funny Kardashian jokes, he was thoroughly unmemorable (you can watch his monologue below. It was… okay). The highlight of the night was probably seeing George Clooney talk about Michael Fassbender’s huge penis, because it means George Clooney is as obsessed with the Fasspenis as I am. The other highlight was Seth Rogen taking the stage with Kate Beckinsale and saying, “I’m Seth Rogen, and I’m trying to disguise my enormous erection.”

Basically, it was a great night for boners. The lowlight probably went to Madonna, who won best song (???) and took the stage pretending to be Abe Simpson on Vh-1 Storytellers (“The story of how I wrote this song isn’t so much interesting as it is long…”). Though Michelle Pfeiffer introducing War Horse as an incredible film “about a miraculous horse” was also quite bad. Though it did encapsulate perfectly why I could never like that movie. I don’t trust anyone who could write or say the phrase “miraculous horse” without feeling like an asshole. War Horse and the Iron Lady aren’t films that should win awards, they’re satire that prove how terrible awards shows are.

Full list of winners plus my live-tweet of the event on the next page.

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I have a problem, you guys. I’m afraid that if I’m completely honest with you about how much I liked 50/50, you won’t respect me anymore. It tickled me right in the sentimental parts I don’t like to talk about at parties, and now those parts are all moist, and I’m afraid if I tell you about them that it would just be gross. But here goes.

We can call it a “cancer comedy” if it makes you feel better, but the dirty little secret of 50/50 is that it’s kind of a rom-com. And my dirty little secret is that I kind of really like rom-coms (the ones that are good, that people don’t normally think of as rom-coms). But that’s what it is. A contemporary story about love, relationships, friends, and family, that also happens to be pretty funny a lot of the time. Oh, and also cancer, but we’ll get to that.

Written by Will Reiser and directed by Jonathan Levine of The Wackness, 50/50 is a personal story based on Reiser’s real-life diagnosis with cancer when he was in his late twenties, and how he and his friends, like Seth Rogen, dealt with it (the “50/50″ of the title refers to what he was told his chances of survival were). Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Adam, the fictionalized Reiser; Rogen plays Kyle, the fictionalized Rogen. (It must suck for Rogen that he lost all that weight and JGL still gets to play the cancer patient, but between this and Funny People, he has “guy whose friend has cancer” on lock.)

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Yes, Seth Rogen tends to reference pop culture a lot. Damn, this is just like watching that Kevin Smith movie he was in, except not as long or boring. |NYMag|

MORNING LINKS
The 15 Best Nintendo 64 Titles Of All Time |Smoking Section|

Please check this out, it took forever — Movie-Themed Food Trucks: Action Movie Edition |Film Drunk|

Check out Joe King’s stand-up, Laremy talking Moneyball on this week’s Frotcast. |Frotcast|

Twenty-Fourth Century Problems: Life In Star Trek Is HARD |Gamma Squad|

Covering The Faces: The Emotions Of The Greatest Night In Baseball History |With Leather|

Video: Paul Rudd & Anne Hathaway Audition for ‘Jersey Shore’ |Warming Glow|

Twitter Masses Angered That A Fake News Organization Tweeted About A Fake Hostage Crisis |UPROXX|

10 Manliest Men in Entertainment |Buzzfeed|

Seven things you need to know about the Torah. |MentalFloss|

Holly Madison insured her breasts for $1 million, even though they probably only cost 10 grand. |TheSuperficial|

Baseball to the groin! |Videogum|

What your least favorite fighter says about you. |CagePotato|

Alexandra is your bikini lady of the day. |GorillaMask|

Adult Swim’s Time to Waste with Harry Shearer |Adult Swim|

Punk Isn’t Dead PSA with Henry Rollins |The Daily What|

5 Rare Fruits and why you haven’t eaten them. |HolyTaco|

Atlanta Falcons’ Kicker has Golf Clubs Stolen by his Chinese Food Delivery Guy |Brobible|

Now THAT Is A Support Group |NextRound|

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[Download this week's episode here (right-click, "save as.")]

This week, the whole gang is back! We read your reader emails and sex/relationship questions, so that got pretty weird, as you can imagine. That spurred a look back at some of our Koi calls, and more Nair stories (BRET HAS ONE TOO!). Seriously, who knew there’d be this many guys who’d used Nair somewhere near their private parts and immediately regretted it? I think we’ve really struck a nerve here. Oh, and we recorded from my room this time, so most of the first ten minutes is just Brendan making fun of the crap in my room and reading inscrutable notes from my old comedy notebooks. For instance (from around 10 minutes):

• Hobos – Hobo-erotic.
• Pillsbury – credit.
• For dummies
• Darts hyphen raccoon vagina date rape
• Joe AIDs
• Drooling vegetables/incontinent mongoloids

So that’s an out-of-context peek into my subconscious.

At the end, you can hear my roundtable interview with Seth Rogen and Will Reiser who are promoting 50/50 (opening next Friday), a film which I greatly enjoyed (as you’ll see from my upcoming review, if I ever finish it) based on Will Reiser’s diagnosis with cancer when he was in his late twenties. You know, your basic cancer comedy. The interview starts off with me asking a few fun questions and keeping things light and fun, then quickly deteriorates into the usual press tour crap once the other proles get a chance to open their stupid yaps. Sorry about that. But alas I am but a man, and I cannot control the yaps of proles. Nonetheless, it’s still mildly entertaining, and it’s there if you want to listen to it. Here’s the key quote from that:

“Peoples impression of cancer is based on movies they’ve seen, and every movie that’s about cancer, it’s very sad, it’s very melodramatic, and the person always dies at the end. They have some great moment of clarity and then they die. They make amends with their son who they haven’t talked to in 40 years, and then they die. And that’s not what happened with us.” -Will Reiser

FOR NEXT WEEK: We’d love to do more Frotcast mailbag stuff, so send us your relationship questions, sex troubles, poop transplant stories, or other questions. Subscribe on iTunes. Subscribe via RSS.

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"Knock knock... who's there? Your heart."

Thanks to the success of this year’s foul-mouthed and R-rated comedies like Horrible Bosses, Bad Teacher, Bridesmaids, Friends with Benefits, and that other one with Ashton Kutcher that came out first but was probably worse, studios seem to be digging pretty hard to find the next blockbuster comedy idea. So it makes perfect sense that they’d take a trip back to the Judd Apatow farm to harvest the latest ideas of Andrew Cohen and Brendan O’Brien.

Their latest project is a rated R comedy starring, not shockingly, Seth Rogen and, actually shockingly, Zac Efron. According to Cinema Blend, Rogen would play your average Joe, living his vanilla life in Anytown, USA, when all of a sudden – record scratch – a bunch of frat boys move in next door to him. Efron plays the lead pledge trainer, hell master, or elephant walker and hijinks ensue.

I can almost see the pitch now…

Universal Exec: “So do you guys have any big ideas that you’re working on?”
Andrew Cohen: *takes big bong rip* “Uh yeah, like, Seth Rogen plays this dude…”
Brendan O’Brien: *takes big bong rip* “And he’s, like, doing something funny…”
Universal Exec: “OK, yeah, this sounds great. Who else is in it?”
Cohen: *exhales* “I don’t know, like, Zac Efron or somebody.”
Universal Exec: “Here’s a blank check, you glorious c*cksuckers!”

That idea netted Cohen and O’Brien an unspecified 7-figure amount (each!), while Rogen will receive $8 million to star and another unspecified 7-figure amount to produce. Meanwhile, the writers for Adam Sandler’s next project were just paid in Fruit Roll-Ups and nap time.

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