As far as movie premises are concerned, the sequel to Twins (‘Triplets’) starring Eddie Murphy that we heard about last week is basically what happens when your idea shovel breaks through the bottom of the thought barrel and hits a rich vein of sediment made of dog shit and horse carcasses. If it sounded like an idiotic idea that someone tossed off casually and another group of idiots ran with, well that’s because that’s exactly what it was. Apparently ComingSoon heard about it straight from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mulatto-loving mouth late last year (they were embargoed until recently), and it sounds as if it was all Arnold’s idea. OH, ARNOLD! (*humorous trombone, dog covers eyes, maid gets pregnant*)
“I would love to do another ‘Twins,’” Schwarzenegger said when asked if there were any past characters he’d like to revisit. “As a matter of fact, we’ve been talking about doing one and it’s called ‘Triplets.’ I’d find somebody like Eddie Murphy or someone that people would say, ‘How does that happen, medically speaking?’ and, ‘Physically, there’s no way!’ Then, somehow, we would explain it. That would be hilarious with what we know about someone like him.”
“I can see a poster,” the actor continued. “A billboard with us three. ‘They found another one!’ ‘Triplets!’ ‘Only their mother can tell them apart!’ I would do that in two seconds, because that’s real entertainment. You come out with that movie for Christmas, like December 5th or something like that, and you’re home free.”
Who knew the public was dumb enough that an idea like “a tall guy and a short guy are twins!” could entertain them for three-plus hours? (Get it? It’s silly!) Arnold Schwarzenegger, that’s who. It figures that he went into politics. Whenever people point out that we elected him governor, I can only chuckle uncomfortably and say “You should’ve seen the other guys!” while I point to Gary Coleman and a porn star.





