Opening This Weekend:

Semi Pro
I’m actually thinking of seeing this. I mean, look at that poster – what else do you need to know? It’s both an Afro-disiac and the greatest ‘fro on Earth. Someone should ‘fro their marketing department into a volcano. Anyway, I’m sure there’ll be at least three or four moments of genuine laughter in between attempts at self-harm.

The Other Boleyn Girl
Someone gets their head chopped off in this, right? I hope so, because I ain’t sitting through shit like this without that kind of promise.

Penelope
Aw, no one likes poor Christina Ricci because she has a pig nose. She can’t find anyone to love her until one day, someone notices that her tits are huge. Did I mention she was sexually assaulted by a chimp on the set of this movie? Also: EW grades it an F. Sounds like a winner! 

The Chicago 10
A recreation of historical events using stock footage and that creepy animation from Waking Life. Getting okay reviews. I say: Meh?  

City of Men
Sequel to City of God (probably one of my top ten favorite movies) from a different director. Uh oh. Sounds like a watered-down version of the original. Then again I don’t mind drinking whiskey with a little water now and then. Is that a good analogy? Who cares, I’m drunk.       

Semi-Pro will be out in two weeks and I think it’s obvious that Will Ferrell really needs to get off his ass and market this. 

Luckily this new photo spread of him as Jackie Moon with Heidi Klum from the new SI Swimsuit Issue proves he’s still working.  Get it?  It’s funny when he acts sexy becuz he has a weird body LOL!  

Even after three kids, Heidi Klum still makes my naughty parts vibrate.  But Ferrell… goddamn, man, take a break, you’re worse than my creditors.  I think at these marketing meetings, he just runs out in something skimpy with half his junk hanging out and the execs all bark like seals. (click on the thumbnails below to enlarge – more pics here)

In addition to the Bud Light commercial you may have already seen during the Super Bowl, Will Ferrell will be appearing as Jackie Moon in a slew of new ads for Old Spice, “a rare feat for film tie-in partners.”  You can check them out here.

In one of the spots, Moon tells viewers to "cauterize their sweat glands shut" with Pro-Strength; in another, he calls himself a "sweat scientist" and says "perspiration serves no purpose much like the appendix, man nipples or most of the human brain."
Ferrell asked that Old Spice donate his fee for appearing in the spots to the Cancer for College charity, which awards college scholarships to current and former patients.

I’m not going to bash him for being a whore because thirty-second commercials are really the optimum length for this concept.  It’s the two-hour movie that seems like a bad idea.

Then again, have you seen the new bus posters for Semi-Pro?  OMG, his hair’s bigger than the basketball LOL!

Yahoo has this new featurette for the upcoming Will Ferrell movie, Semi-Pro. 

It’s got cameos from a bunch of basketball guys of whom I’ve never heard, and a mega creepy spot from Mark Cuban.

He’s only onscreen for 20 seconds or so but still manages to softify my wang, probably for weeks.  Watching him is like watching your dad give an enthusiastic, thorough, detailed position-by-position analysis of boning your mom.  It’s the kind of thing I always hated when I was growing up.

IESB has this music video for "Love Me Sexy", the latest promo for Semi Pro, starring Will Ferrell.  I watched it and I don’t want to see the movie any more than I did five minutes ago.

I love how all these comedies are set in the 70s now.  It makes me jealous for not growing up then because if Hollywood was any indication, all everyone did was drink and screw and party and have big stupid hair.  And that’s all I’ve ever wanted out of life.  

I mostly grew up in the 90s and I can’t wait till the movies come out that make the 90s look really cool.  "Oh man, that must’ve been so awesome!  With flannels and Lilith Fair and Candlebox and Snow – boy, people back then really knew how to boom boom down."