If the trailer for Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl looks familiar, that’s because it comes from director/special-effects guy Yoshihiro Nishimura, of Tokyo Gore Police/Samurai Princess fame.  This time it’s like he isn’t even trying.  The whole trailer is just constant blood spurting, exploding heads, and assorted weirdness, like a girl with a herpe on her lip.  It looks like the Japanese answer to Seltzer-Friedberg.  Which is a shame, because when I hear a movie called Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl I expect coherent storytelling.

Also, what the hell is this supposed to be?  Blackface is one thing, but giant prosthetic lips and a big flat nose is taking it a step too far. I learned that at sensitivity training.  I mean, what gives, Japan?  It’s not like we’ve ever turned your people into an offensive stereo- what’s that?  Hold on, someone’s sending me a picture… Oh right.  Carry on then.

[via Twitch via RoboPanda]

• The nine best scenes of cinematic vomiting.  Doesn’t include audience vomiting, which I assume would be mostly Seltzer-Friedberg related. [ScreenJunkies]
• Andy Dick sits down with Cheaters‘ Joey Greco.  Which is better than bending over near Joey Greco. Vomit’s Joey Greco, as I like to call him. [Atom]
• Julia Roberts stars in a movie that sounds exactly like the plot of Choke. [THR]
• If you’re going to cheat on your girlfriend, at least log out of Facebook first, dipsh-t. [HolyTaco]
• Inappropriate commercials for DirecTV HD.  One of the better CollegeHumor videos I’ve seen in a while. SPOILER ALERT: One of the scenes is “ass to ass” from Requiem for a Dream. Solid.[CollegeHumor]
• Check out P Diddy’s Twitter feed.  Yes, it’s really him, and yes, he’s just as stupid as you imagine. [Twitter]
• George Miller says he’s still attached to the Justice League movie.  Like a f-cking lamprey on a dead seal, that guy. [MTV]
• BullzEye revisits The Academy’s most egregious Oscar mistakes.  Number 1?  Going to community college. [BullzEye]
• And now, an even more elaborate Charlie Brown parody. I think they should re-imagine Charlie Brown as Chris Brown, so when Lucy pulls the football away he beats the sh-t out of her but then later breaks down crying and says it was only ’cause he loves her so much. [Whatisdeepfried]

[Thanks to Pauly for finding this picture. It reminds me of my own childhood.  What, you had paper to draw on when you were little, fancypants?  In my neighborhood, we couldn't afford paper so we just found a pregnant dog to draw on.  That's the way it was, and we liked it.]

Hey, wanna see a new Watchmen viral video?  Of course you do. And why not?  They’re gloriously half assed.  This latest clip from fictional MTV circa fictional 1985 gives us “the 411″ on our “favorite antiheroes.”  And by 411, I mean the girl reads their names in descending order.  What the f-ck was the point of this?  It’s just a collection of random references.  It’s like if Seltzer-Friedberg had to invent a fictional pop-culture to reference. Oh hey look, Schmaris Schmilton is acting dumb and whorey again. Isn’t that hilarious??
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^{Irony?  Mike Myers saying to JT, “I loved My Dick in a Box,”}

After the jump, you can see the full list of winners of the Razzie Awards for the worst achievements in film.  They’re pretty cute until you realize that (presumably) someone actually sat through all these pieces of shit.  Come on, not even Seltzer-Friedberg watch Seltzer-Friedberg movies.

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Every year since 1980 The Razzie Awards have honored the worst Hollywood has to offer.  Their trophy isn’t shaped like a pile of shit, but it should be.  This year’s nominees:

Worst Picture:
Speed Racer, Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans, The Day the Earth Stood Still, High School Musical 3, The Hottie & The Nottie, Dungeon Siege, The Love Guru, Postal, Rambo, The Happening, Meet Dave, Witless Protection

Worst Actor:
Zac Efron, Dane Cook, Larry the Cable Guy, Eddie Murphy, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone, Tom Cruise (Valkyrie), Will Ferrell, Ashton Kutcher, Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Mark Wahlberg

Worst Actress:
Paris Hilton, Jessica Alba, The cast of “The Women,” Camilla Belle, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Diane Keaton, Jennifer Connelly, Zooey Deschanel [HOW DARE YOU!], Vanessa Hudgens, Eva Longoria-Parker, Reese Witherspoon

Worst Screen Couple:
Any couple from HSM 3, Cameron Diaz & Ashton Kutcher, Paris Hilton & Joel David Moore, Kate Hudson & Dane Cook, Kate Hudson & Matthew McConaughey, Larry the Cable Guy & Jenny McCarthy, Any couple from Mamma Mia, Eddie Murphy & Eddie Murphy (Meet Dave), Al Pacino & His Hair, Mark Wahlberg & Zooey Deschanel, Mark Wahlberg & Mila Kunis, Sylvester Stallone & His Ego

Worst Director:
Uwe Boll, Scott Derrickson, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, Tom Putnam, Marco Schnabel, Sylvester Stallone, Jon Avnet, Diane English, Roland Emmerich, Brian Robbins, Kenny Ortega, M. Night Shyamalan

Worst Prequel, Sequel, Remake or Rip-Off:
Indiana Jones 4, HSM 3, Rambo, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, An American Carol, The Women, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Prom Night, Speed Racer, X-Files: I Want To Believe

Worst Career Achievement:
Uwe Boll, Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, Madonna, Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone

I’m crossing my fingers for a Seltzer-Friedberg sweep.  Then when they show up to collect their awards and fake smile and pretend to be good sports, which they probably would because they’re huge tools like that, the trophy could squirt them with poison gas.  Just a thought.