No one knows much about “directors” Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, as they wisely keep a low profile. The only thing certain is that their “movies”, Disaster Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, are like a biblical plague. They’re almost impressive in that it’s impossible to overstate how bad they are. No one knows why they keep getting made, or why their financiers aren’t tarred, feathered, and sterilized. And though everyone hates them, financially, they seem to be doing just fine. In fact, Seltzer recently put his house on the market - for almost three million dollars.
Film writer-director-producer Aaron Seltzer has listed his Studio City home at $2,949,000. The Cape Cod-style house, built in 1951, has five bedrooms and 5 1/2 bathrooms in about 4,200 square feet. The sunroom has walls of French doors. [LATimes]
That’s right, the guy who wrote Disaster Movie was living in a $3 million house. Game over, man, game over. I may have to cheer for the terrorists from now on.
[Thanks to 'Slowhand' for the tip]
If the trailer for Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl looks familiar, that’s because it comes from director/special-effects guy Yoshihiro Nishimura, of Tokyo Gore Police/Samurai Princess fame. This time it’s like he isn’t even trying. The whole trailer is just constant blood spurting, exploding heads, and assorted weirdness, like a girl with a herpe on her lip. It looks like the Japanese answer to Seltzer-Friedberg. Which is a shame, because when I hear a movie called Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl I expect coherent storytelling.
Also, what the hell is this supposed to be? Blackface is one thing, but giant prosthetic lips and a big flat nose is taking it a step too far. I learned that at sensitivity training. I mean, what gives, Japan? It’s not like we’ve ever turned your people into an offensive stereo- what’s that? Hold on, someone’s sending me a picture… Oh right. Carry on then.
[Thanks to Pauly for finding this picture. It reminds me of my own childhood. What, you had paper to draw on when you were little, fancypants? In my neighborhood, we couldn't afford paper so we just found a pregnant dog to draw on. That's the way it was, and we liked it.]
Hey, wanna see a new Watchmen viral video? Of course you do. And why not? They’re gloriously half assed. This latest clip from fictional MTV circa fictional 1985 gives us “the 411″ on our “favorite antiheroes.” And by 411, I mean the girl reads their names in descending order. What the f-ck was the point of this? It’s just a collection of random references. It’s like if Seltzer-Friedberg had to invent a fictional pop-culture to reference. Oh hey look, Schmaris Schmilton is acting dumb and whorey again. Isn’t that hilarious??
Read the rest of this entry »
Irony? Mike Myers saying to JT, “I loved My Dick in a Box,”
After the jump, you can see the full list of winners of the Razzie Awards for the worst achievements in film. They’re pretty cute until you realize that (presumably) someone actually sat through all these pieces of shit. Come on, not even Seltzer-Friedberg watch Seltzer-Friedberg movies.
