Spaghetti Dog added for scale
HOLY JAILBAIT, BATMAN! Here’s a still from Spring Breakers, a seemingly teenybopper screwball comedy starring Disney Channel darlings Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Ashley Benson being directed by epic weirdo Harmony Korine. This is going to be so awesomely bizarre it might tear a hole in space time (with my boner). HEY, WAIT A SECOND! Is that James Franco?!
I clicked play on the trailer for Seeking a Friend at the End of the World (the directorial debut of Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist screenwriter Lorene Scafaria), prepared to see Steve Carell slumming it in yet another mediocre broad comedy, but instead it opened with a catchy plot – the mission to save Earth has failed, there’s an asteroid on a collision course with Earth and everyone has three weeks to live – then our buddy Rob Huebel showed up, and by the time Patton Oswalt arrived as a boozy dude drinking wine straight from a carafe at an end-of-the-world booze orgy, I had already glee-fainted and was leaking saliva on the linoleum. Excuse me for saying, but this looks really good! Oops, I don’t often use exclamation points, as I consider them campy and effeminate. GRRR, FOOTBALL.
