SecretSauce TV remakes Twilight so that it appeals to dudes.  Spoiler alert: it involves lesbians now.

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• Chodin’s strange and enlightening definitive photoshop guide to Taylor Lautner’s abs (on everything): Fact: Taylor Lautner’s Abs Make Everything Better. |Uproxx|
• Everything you wanted to know about the word “f*ggot” from the poker scene in Louie. |WarmingGlow|
• San Diego zoo doing some Jurassic Park cloning type sh*t on extinct animals. |GammaSquad|
• Punté’s live coverage of the World Series of Poker. |WithLeather|
• The inner monologue of Lebron James deciding which team to sign with. |HolyTaco|
• Back From the Dead: Shows We Want Revived. |TVSquad|
• 15 Crazy People In Public Places. |CollegeHumor|
• Are you f*cking serious right now, American Apparel? |AmericanApparel|
• Female sports star wardrobe malfunctions. |Guyism|
• Adult actress Bobbi Eden promises, um, “BJs” for all her Twitter followers if the Oranje win the World Cup. |Deadspin|
• An Upper Michigan couple claims to have photos of John Stamos with strippers and cocaine. |Fark|
• This cat is RACIST! |Urlesque|
• The Predator history of the world. |ScreenJunkies|

And now, the best Mo’Nique gif so far:

Click to animate

[via ONTD]

In people buying songs they already have news, the soundtrack to This is It hit number one on the Billboard charts this week, selling 373,000 copies.  Nothing against people wanting to own the soundtrack, I guess, the songs are still good.  But to everyone who rushed out to see the movie or who really wants to see the movie or thinks the movie is great, go ahead and line up behind white guys with dreadlocks, people who listen to techno in car, people who own TapouT gear (Tommy TapouTs), and the viewership of Two and a Half Men.  May we never have to hang out.

[video via SecretSauceTV]

The folks over at SecretSauce TV have started this new series called “Hot chicks in black and white flicks”, in which they recreate scenes from old movies using bikini models.  This one’s from 12 Angry Men. I thought I’d post it because it has boobs and is movie related, and therefore requires no additional work on my end.  What, you like boobs, doncha, pussy?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  Now leave me alone, daddy’s drinkin.

Read the rest of this entry »

Secretsauce.tv created this pretty solid trailer for My Little Pony: Reign of the Buttercup Sprinkles, as a way of making fun of Hollywood for taking old kids shows like Transformers and G.I. Joe and turning them into big-budget origin stories.  Funny trailer, BUT IT MUST BE DESTROYED. And soon, before it can find its way into the hands of a Fox exec.  They don’t even understand screw-top lids, you think they’re capable of grasping satire?  And even I have to admit, a My Little Pony movie is at least a 10 times better idea than a Candyland movie. In related news, ‘Candyland’ is my pet name for your sister’s vagina.

Boy, I get tired of this high brow stuff sometimes.