“Real-Life Superhero” Phoenix Jones spawns “Real-Life Supervillain” Rex Velvet

Written by Vince Mancini / 05.02.12

We first met Seattle’s “real-life superhero” Phoenix Jones last October when he tried towho’s also known as amateur MMA fighter Ben Fodor, had a story that paralleled HBO’s documentary, Superheroes, about similar, self-appointed superheroes. Well now, in a move that’s either genius, obvious, inevitable, or most likely a combination of all three, a self-appointed supervillain, Rex Velvet, has emerged to challenge Phoenix Jones, whom he calls “a hobo snitch in a mask.”

“Let us rid our city of these silly, vigilante nerds.” -Rex Velvet

He has released the following video:

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Follow-Up: Real-life superhero fired from his job teaching disabled kids

Written by Vince Mancini / 11.07.11

(pic via Fightlinker)

Remember a few weeks ago when I brought you the story of Phoenix Jones (aka amateur MMA fighter Ben Fodor), one of those “real-life superhero” types from Seattle, who’d been arrested for pepper-spraying people and charged with assault? (In his defense, if you watch the accompanying video, it seems pretty clear that those A-holes totally had it coming). Well now, along with suffering the indignity of having his super suit confiscated by the cops, Fodor has been fired from his job teaching autistic kids. And let me be the first to say well done, Seattle, serves those little autistic bastards right.

[Fodor was] told by the state that he is no longer allowed to work with vulnerable children or adults following his arrest last month, PubliCola has learned.
“I had to leave work in the middle of the day,” Jones says. “It was embarrassing.”
Jones explained that he has worked with five developmentally disabled autistic children—who ranged in age from four to 18 years old—for the last five years at their homes and state care facilities, going shopping with them, teaching them to balance checkbooks, and going for walks.
Prosecutors have not filed charges for the incident, and a spokeswoman for the city attorney’s office says the case is still being investigated.

“They all knew I was Phoenix Jones,” he says.

Jones says that because of his arrest, he’s on “a list” that prohibits him from working with children, because he has “a history of interjecting myself into situations that are dangerous.”
Jones, naturally, disputes that characterization.

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Your Daily Rust-Covered Star Wars-Themed Rape Van

Written by Vince Mancini / 05.13.11

My, my, a SECOND rape van post?  What God did I please, you must be thinking.  That’s right, loyal FilmDrunkard Matthew saw this morning’s post on the World’s Most Legit Rape Van and promptly sent over a picture of the Star Wars rape van you see above, which he spotted a few weeks ago in Seattle.  And as we all know, Rape Vans come in threes, like celebrity deaths, or a bukkake quorum, so WHO KNOWS WHAT MAJESTY THIS AFTERNOON WILL BRING???

If forced to compare this rape van to this morning’s rape van, I don’t think there’s any question that a rainbow-queefing unicorn being ridden into space by an AK-47-toting Viking with a ZZ Top beard beats a pretty standard rendering of the iconic Star Wars characters.  However, I will say that being covered in rust and parked in front of what appears to be an abandoned factory, this one may have the edge in actual rapiness.  “Now if you’ll just move the insulation and old rebar aside, I’ll show you where I keep the candy.”

I wonder if this is Jaimie Alexander‘s van.

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