In This Must be the Place, Sean Penn plays a creepy, possibly-retarded aging rock singer who talks in a baby voice (see trailer below), who sets out to find the ex-Nazi who tortured his father (seriously).  Now, one thing I never wanted to see in this life was Sean Penn dressed like a hippie cat lady making a sad Bambi face at me, but what this poster presupposes is… maybe I did?  Aaaand… Nope. I’ve thought about it again, and I was definitely right the first time.  So sad.  It seems like only yesterday he was partying with David Lee Roth and the Beastie Boys.

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The New York Post reports that Sean Penn has signed on to direct The Comedian, a script co-written by Art Linson and Roastmaster General Jeffrey Ross, with Robert Deniro attached to star.  Tweeted Ross, “My film degree might pay off yet.” The project would be Ross’s first.  If it does well, you can expect him to recycle it six times for different award shows. OH! I kid, I kid.  Seriously though, tip your waiters, Donald Trump’s hair, try the veal.

Sean Penn will come aboard to direct “The Comedian” starring Robert De Niro, according to sources. The film was written by Art Linson and Jeffrey Ross and follows De Niro as an aging, bitterly funny stand-up comic. It will go into production in New York next year. Penn’s last directorial effort was the 2007 Jon Krakauer adaptation, “Into the Wild.” Reports from Cannes had erroneously said Martin Scorsese would direct “The Comedian.” [NYPost]

Deniro famously played aspiring comedian Rupert Pupkin in Scorcese’s 1982 film, King of Comedy, though all remember about that is him saying “Rupert Pupkin” about 16 thousand times and the secretary who never wore a bra.  Anyway, this sounds like a perfect pairing, because if anyone knows comedy, it’s Sean Penn.  As long as you don’t do anything insane, like imply that Jude Law is in a lot of movies at the Oscars.  Barrel of laughs, that guy.  Never without a smile on his face.

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Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life plays Cannes in just a few days, and opens in limited release in the US May 27th. Although I was already sold when I found out there’d be velociraptors in it, the studio still saw fit to release this latest clip, which you can watch below. In this scene, Brad Pitt’s character teaches his son to box, which he of course learned to do while researching his award-winning roles in Snatch, Fight Club, Meet Joe Black, and The Pacifier.  Try as Brad might to toughen the kid up, he still grows up to be Sean Penn.
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And Pugsy Siegel blows yet another casting call.

Question marks in the headline mean only one thing: EjacuSpeculation time! According to Nikki Fink’s dubious gossip rag, Josh Brolin is in negotiations to join Sean Penn and Baby Goose in Ruben Fleischer’s “Gangster Squad.” What, was “Mafia Crime” already taken?

“Warner Bros has begun negotiating with Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling and Josh Brolin to star in Gangster Squad, the Will Beall-scripted crime drama that will be directed by Zombieland helmer Ruben Fleischer. Production will begin in the fall. The linchpin of the film is Los Angeles mobster Mickey Cohen, which is the role that Penn is in talks to play. Gosling and Brolin are in talks to play two cops assigned to bring him down when the gangster’s penchant for violence leaves the blood of innocents on the street.” [Deadline]

This is still in the early stages, and I hope they’re able to make this happen since it sounds really cool, but I’m worried that the prospect of a hardscrabble Brolin teaming-up with an naively optimistic Gosling to take down Penn’s over-the-top Jewish kingpin is just too good to be true.

CHIEF: Yer a loose cannon, McPunchington! You can’t just beat a suspect in custody!

BROLIN: Seems like I just did, Chief. *takes swig from flask, smiles haggardly*

CHIEF: That’s it, yer off the case, Detective! Send in the kid.

BROLIN: Detective Snugfeather? He doesn’t even carry a gun! He says they’re too loud.

[interrogation room door flies open]

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Terrence Malick is famous for directing artsy movies where you may not have any idea what they’re about, but you know damn sure that the camera is going to slowly pan across atmospheric shots that look super pretty.  His next film, Tree of Life (trailer), opening May 27th, stars Brad Pitt and Sean Penn in “an impressionistic story of a Midwestern family in the 50s.”

Except, when Terrence Malick makes an impressionistic film called Tree of Life, you know it’s not just about the protagonist family, it’s also an attempt to create a grand, comprehensive meditation on existence itself, from the Big Bang on through sexting.  I assume that’s how the dinosaurs fit in, but generally speaking, if velociraptors are involved, I tend not to sweat the details.  I hope that it’s part of a larger montage that starts with creation, slowly makes its way through primordial sea, the spark of life, fish, reptiles, then the dawn of the dinosaurs, beginning with an egg, from which hatches a full-grown Dicknose James Franco who rampages through Paris rapping about stegosauruses.  It’s a metaphor, you see. Everything is connected.

(Semi-related)

[Picture via the Tree of Life-affiliated tumblr site TwoWaysThroughLife, hat tip: GordonandtheWhale]