The Boston Globe is reporting that the role of Larry in the Farrelly Brothers’ Three Stooges movie, originally set to star Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro, and Jim Carrey, until Sean Penn pulled the kind of selfish dick move that is his trademark, will be filled by Paul Giamatti.
In town this week to see Paul McCartney play at Fenway, Peter Farrelly told us that Paul Giamatti has signed on to replace Sean Penn as Larry. Playing Moe will be Benicio Del Toro, one Hollywood’s biggest “Three Stooges” fans. Still to be cast is Curly. There had been reports that Jim Carrey would utter Curly’s signature “n’yuk, n’yuk, n’yuk,” but it’s not so.
Jim Carrey dropping out makes sense, but it’s strange that Paul Giamatti would jump in as Larry. What basically happened was Penn dropped out, then a bunch of people said “Hey, what about Paul Giamatti? He’s weird looking and bald.” Then someone asked Giamatti about it and he said [via /Film]:
“They were always so dark and grim. And Moe was this ancient man with a little boy’s haircut. But Larry? I don’t get Larry. He’s strange. He’s sort of the blank guy in the middle.”
So maybe he had a change of heart. Or maybe Peter Farrelly was just drunk. Or maybe we’re all just figments of Tom Cruise’s coma fantasy, what am I, a wizard? Anyway, I don’t see this movie happening. I love the stooges, but the Farrellys haven’t made a good movie in a long time, and comedy doesn’t really age well (in fact, the latter may explain the former). If they want to get this made, they’re gonna have to change the source to a graphic novel and Larry and Curly to two warring factions of vampires.
Sean Penn, after filing for divorce then changing his mind twice in the last two years, says he’s taking a break from acting. In the process, he’s sort of screwing over the two projects he’s attached to, the Farrelly Brothers Three Stooges movie and Cartel.
It is understood that the two-time Oscar-winning actor-writer-director is taking a leave from his Hollywood career for personal reasons. It’s unclear how long the absence could last, though sources have said up to a year.
Peter and Bobby Farrelly have spent the better part of a decade trying to get “Stooges” off the ground, and in March they pulled off a major casting coup: Penn as Larry, with Jim Carrey as Curly and Benicio del Toro as Moe. Now MGM and the Farrellys, who wrote the script and are slated to direct, need to decide whether they will wait for Penn or seek to find a new actor. Time and availability are the issues: “Stooges” was eyeing a late August start date, and MGM has slotted it for a 2010 release. If the studio waits, it could risk losing Carrey and del Toro. On the other hand, half of Hollywood would poke their eyes out for the part. [THR]
That’s a shame. I know a lot of people were looking forward to the new, hellishly intense method-acting Larry who keeps slipping on banana peels on the way to identify the body of his murdered daughter.
I don’t break news myself that often, so when I do, I feel like I should make a big deal out of it. So hey, remember when I said Sean Penn might play Larry in the Farrelly Bros Three Stooges remake? Well… I was right!!!! I was right I was right I was right– Ow, son of a bitch, I stubbed my toe on my Todja So trophy.
Anyway, Variety confirms that Penn will play Larry, Benicio del Toro is in talks to play Moe, and Jim Carrey planning to gain 40 pounds for Curly in the modern “update” of the classic comedy troupe from the directors whose next project is literally called Walter the Farting Dog and stars the Jonas Bros. And now this cast. Here’s how I envision a Stooges movie starring these three going down:
PENN: (voice cracking) I dunno, man, I just… (unintelligible) …I just think, maybe I shouldn’ta killed her. …God forgive me for da things I done.
DEL TORO: (long, thoughtful drag on cigarette) Listen, my frien’. (points with cigarette) You. You did whatchahadda do. That’s it. (flicks cigarette away, blows out smoke)
CARREY: (talking out of his ass) But gee, Larry! Maybe you shouldn’t have tortured her so much first! Maybe you could have just… ASSed her what the problem was. (does backflip)
*Moe shoots Curly in the face*
Sean Penn is lobbying to get California to recognize Harvey Milk’s birthday (May 22nd) as a holiday.
State Sen. Mark Leno plans to reintroduce a bill Tuesday with Penn by his side designating Milk’s birthday a “day of significance.” Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed the same bill last year. In his veto message, the governor said Milk should be honored in San Francisco but not statewide. Leno says Penn’s [Best Actor] award shows that Schwarzenegger’s argument about Milk being only of provincial interest no longer holds up. [THR]
Hmm, I’m not sure that argument holds up. Otherwise we’d have Ray Charles Day, Truman Capote Day, and Idi Amin Day. But f-ck it, I’m all for holidays. Plus it’s in May, so we could all wear speedos and run around pinching each other’s asses and saying “Happy Holigay!” What? You’d rather work?
So the Oscars, aka the Super Bowl for Gays happened last night. I’ll try to combine all the thrilling action into one post:
- Mickey Rourke wore a necklace with a picture of his dear departed dog on it. Aww, won’t someone adopt him? He may not be housebroken, but he’s freakin’ adorable!
- Sean Penn beat Rourke for Best Actor in one the few awards I had any interest in. I’d rather have seen shark tooth win (Sean Penn is a great actor, but everything about Milk was just so… expected), but at least it wasn’t like he got beat by someone totally undeserving, like Halle Berry, or that hack Meryl Streep.
- Kate Winslet won Best Actress for The Reader, making this the last time you’ll hear anything about The Reader. Let’s see: main character who looks like he has Downs, protagonists who read poetry and take baths, ahck-tores viss fake jer-man ack saints… gosh, I haven’t been so excited to see something since The Hours! Cross-eyed cats > Dyslexic Nazis.
- Slumdog Millionaire won everything ever. At this point I’m tired of pointing out that it wasn’t good. If I wanted to watch people I don’t give a shit about fall in love I’d eat at the Olive Garden. Or another sentence that would actually make sense. Tell ya one thing though, Danny Boyle’s daughter’s tits should’ve won something.
- Host Hugh Jackman danced and sang in that weird vibrato that only theater people have. The opening number was okay, but his medley with Beyonce, Zac Efron, and the Mamma Mia people was so bad that when he gave Baz Luhrmann the credit for writing it, Baz practically hid underneath his seat. But the important thing is that lots of people paid attention to Hugh Jackman. “Hey, everyone, look what I can do!”
- Reese Witherspoon won the ugliest dress award. Hiiid-eeee-ouuuuuth…
- That list of “leaked winners” didn’t last one award. Hope you didn’t bet the farm. [FULL LIST OF WINNERS BELOW]
