Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones actor Sean Bean has made a fine career out of looking like a guy who knows his way around a sword, but you know what they say, live by the sword, get stabbed in a bar fight by a drunk who insults your slutty girlfriend.  I think it was Martin Luther King who said that.

The row began when Mr Bean, 52, and April Summers – a glamour model who is 30 years his junior who had gone to the bar in North West London with him – were standing outside, having a cigarette.
Miss Summers – whose real name the Daily Mail understands is Nadia Foster – lives close to Mr Bean in the same area.
According to witnesses, a passer-by then made lewd comments about Miss Summers, a topless model who has appeared in a number of UK lads’ magazines as well as the Italian edition of Playboy.
As a result, Mr Bean followed the man down the road to challenge him.
Later in the evening, Mr Bean went out for another cigarette and was then  attacked by a man.
The star was said to have been stabbed in the arm – believed to be with a broken glass – and punched in the face, according to witnesses. Police were then called.
Mr Bean was said to have a cut arm and a bruised face, according to witnesses.
Bean declined to attend hospital. Instead, the star walked back into the bar and, after staff gave him aid from a first aid kit, ordered another drink.
‘He came in with a cut on his arm and a bruise on his eyebrow. We saw to his injuries with the first aid kit. He seemed ok and wanted to have another drink.’ [DailyMail]

A topless model, a bar fight, a guy who gets stabbed with a broken bottle and keeps drinkin’… I’ve never been, but based on this, I can’t help but conclude that London is exactly like a Jason Statham movie.  I hope Boromir kicked this guy’s ass while answering his own rhetorical sentences.  “Bloody hew, it appeahs dis cont ‘as stabbed me wiff a fractshewd grog bottew, now ‘asn’t ‘e.  Seems Oy ‘as got no choice but to smash him, do Oy, Tommy.”

…Yeah, yeah, I know you didn’t read anything after “Topless Model”. Daddy’s got you covered.

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"Lost boyeeeeeeez..."

When it was announced that Channing Tatum had sold a million-dollar pitch for a gritty reimagining of Peter Pan, it seemed strange for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which being that Peter Pan is a pre-pubescent scamp traditionally played by a girl, and Channing Tatum is a mumbly, 31-year-old whigger with a burned penis.  Welcome to Never Neverland Florida, Son! HOO HOO! Anyway, today we’ve got some more details on the project, and long story short, IT TOTALLY MAKES SENSE NOW.  [SORRY, THIS STORY IS NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT THE SAME PROJECT, SEE UPDATE BELOW]

Aaron Eckhart and AnnaSophia Robb will star in the dark spin on Peter Pan that was originally set up at New Line as a directing vehicle for Guillermo del Toro.

Ben Hibon will direct the story from a screenplay by Ben Magid in which Eckhart plays Hook, the Captain Hook character reimagined as a tormented former detective on the trail of a childlike kidnapper. Robb, riding high following the solid recent launch of Soul Surfer, will portray Wendy, the lone survivor who leaves an asylum to help in the hunt.

Sean Bean has been cast as Smee, the chief detective and Hook’s only ally on the force.  [ScreenDaily]

Remember how the Coen Brothers’ O Brother Where Art Thou was a wacky re-imagining of The Odyssey by Homer?  This is… nothing like that.  My best guess as to how Hollywood functions these days is that they take a talented parody writer, surgically remove his self-awareness, implant an earnestness chip inside his brain, and make him listen to Drowning Pool on repeat while guys in Affliction shirts scream catchphrases at him.  SERIAL KILLERS! CHILD MURDER! DETECTIVES!  “Okay okay, I wrote a script, it’s called Sergeant Tom Sawyer: Special Amnesia Unit! Just make it stop!”

UPDATE: I apologize, although it’s listed as the same on IMDB, this is NOT the Channing Tatum Peter Pan project.  Apparently there are THREE SEPARATE Peter Pan projects in development. This Law & Order style one outlined above, with Eckhart and Sean Bean; Channing Tatum’s version, called Pan, where Peter Pan and Captain Hook are brothers (either biological or African-American, I’m not sure); and a third which is said to have a Twilight spin.  And even with two Peter Pan projects already in development, someone still paid $1 million for Channing Tatum’s version.  My mind is blown.